“Except their love, time, and attention, it seems,” Abby says.
“Correct.”
“He rarely mentions them to me,” I admit. “But that’s not the impression he has given me about them.”
“Hunt would stab himself before admitting the truth,” Kai says, knocking back his beer. Man, he’s a sexy fucker when he drinks. Watching his Adam’s apple bob when he swallows is sexy as hell.
“Are you eye fucking my husband?” Abby asks.
Kai spits beer all over his lap.
“Oops. Was I?” I waggle my brows, not even pretending to be sorry. “I can appreciate a sexy guy even if he is taken by the best woman to ever walk the earth.”
“You are forgiven, but only just.”
“I need to get laid stat. Over and over and over again. Find some big stud with a giant rectal wrecker to drill every memory of Hunt’s cock from my ass.”
Kai almost chokes this time, and Abby stretches over, rubbing his back as her mouth twitches.
“Would that really help?” she softly asks as I sip my hot chocolate. “I know you’re hurting, and you’re single now, so there’s nothing stopping you from getting back in the saddle, but I know you. You mask your pain with humor. Finding a fuck buddy might give you some temporary respite, but it won’t heal the cracks in your heart.”
“Why do I always fall for men who will never love me back?” I croak as tears sting the backs of my eyes. “I swore after the last time this happened I’d never put myself in this position again, but it’s like history repeating all over again.”
“This is that guy you told me about before? The older man you were with when you were seventeen?”
“The older married man who insisted on keeping me his dirty little secret until his wife found out and broadcast a video of us fucking all over town? Yep, that’s the one.”
“I wish I could absorb your pain.” She wraps her slim arms around me. “I wish you weren’t hurting, but it won’t always be like this. If Sawyer is too dumb to see what an amazing, wonderful, caring, smart, funny, unique guy you are, then it’s his loss, not yours. One day, you’ll find someone who truly appreciates you for the person you are. Until then, I am going to shower you with love and remind you every day that you are incredible and worthy of everything.”
I hold her close, fighting tears. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Looking over her shoulder, I smirk at her husband. “I think I should switch teams and you should dump the caveman, and we’ll go live on an island in the Caribbean. Spend our days lying in the sun, getting drunk, eating, and fucking.”
“I vote to bring Kai.” Abby’s nose twitches as she grins at her husband. “He can make our food and rub our feet.”
“Do the laundry and clean the house,” I add.
“We can take turns rimming his ass.”
We crack up laughing, and just like that, my bestie has lifted my melancholy.
“You’re hilarious,” Kai drawls. “Seriously, you belong on stage.” He flips us the bird, and more laughter rumbles from our chests.
“Ah, baby.” Abby crawls into her husband’s lap. “I’m sorry. We can take the ass rimming off the chores list if it upsets you that much.”
I leave their house twenty minutes later, feeling much lighter than when I arrived.
7
Sydney
“Oh, Sydney, you look beautiful. Regal. Like a princess,” Ava Hunt—my soon-to-be mother-in-law—says as I twirl in front of the mirror in the couture bridal boutique.
“It’s stunning, Syd,” my bestie Cayenne says. “And so very you. You made a good choice.”
I came here with Ava a few days after our engagement party, and this was the first dress I tried on. I knew instantly it was the one. Made of Chantilly lace, it has a flowing skirt with a scooped neckline and spaghetti straps that crisscross over an open back. It is sexy but elegant, and it has a little boho vibe.
It’s such a pity I’m wasting it on this farce of a wedding.
Ava smiles at Cayenne, but it’s a feeble attempt. Sawyer’s parents have been welcoming and warm, but they are super judgmental and total snobs. It’s become abundantly clear status and wealth are the things they value most and the measure they use to assess others by.
I’m ashamed of the comment I made about Xavier that day in Sawyer’s parents’ penthouse. I was thrown off guard by the guy, and when Ava made her derogatory remark, I jumped in with mine without thinking it through. Sawyer said he was seeing someone, and I just assumed it was a woman. Which is ridiculous, because he doesn’t hide his bisexuality. It was something he told me on our first date.
I wonder if my bestie’s purple hair reminds Ava of Xavier. If that’s why she took an immediate dislike to her. Perhaps it’s her colorful clothes or loud personality. Or maybe it’s the fact Cayenne is an aromatherapist and not a doctor or a lawyer or a banker. Ava has this in common with my father. Herman Shaw has never approved of my friendship with Cayenne because she encourages me to live my life the way I want to. Not that I have the guts to follow through, but maybe someday, her courage and her bravery will rub off on me.
“I think that’s perfect now.” The boutique owner scrutinizes the dress from all angles, checking it fits right.
“I agree. Thank you so much for rushing this through for me.”
“You’re welcome. We like to ensure all our clients are completely satisfied.” After the extortionate sum of money my father has forked out for this dress, I would like to think so.
“What about a veil?” Ava asks, her face lighting up.
Seriously, what is with her and veils? I told her I didn’t want one already. I plan to wear my hair loose and wavy with a delicate flower garland I saw in a magazine. I know it’s not the done thing for New York society, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let Sawyer’s mother dictate every aspect of the wedding. I have conceded to her wishes on everything else. How I look on the day will totally be my choice. “I’m not wearing a veil, and I believe I already explained my reasons why.”
Cayenne coughs to disguise her snort of laughter.
After I get changed into my clothes, Ava collects the dress from behind the counter, and we leave the store. “I’ll see this is delivered to your father’s apartment,” she says. “If you’re sure you’re not going straight home.”
I loop my arm through Cay’s. “I’m not. We have some catching up to do over dinner.”
“Well, have a nice evening.”
I lean down, kissing her cheeks. “Thanks for your help today and for everything.” Ava might be a bit pushy, but I’m not complaining since she’s doing all the legwork. I have very little interest in wedding planning when it’s all one giant charade. I’m struggling to summon the requisite enthusiasm.
“It’s my pleasure, Sydney.” She beams at me, and I can tell it’s genuine. “I know this must be hard for you without your mother around or any sisters. I’m glad I can be here for you.” She squeezes my arm. “We’re family now, or we will be in twelve days.”