My chest tightened, and I sat beside her, barely making it on numb legs. All of this with her—the nights poring over puzzles and talking, bothering her while she cooked dinner or her bothering me, hanging out and watching TV—this was the longest I’d ever spent with someone since the guys back in college.
I’d forgotten what it felt like to have someone around to laugh with, watch crappy TV with, be myself with.
Sabrina saw through me. From the first day when she’d walked in on me, she’d seen straight through me, which was the scariest thing I’d ever faced.
But sitting beside her watching men and women slip and slide into fake lava while drinking and cracking jokes was the most I’d felt like me in a long time. Not Hunter, who was the guy who could get what anyone wanted, or Hunter who knew someone who knew someone to get you into the hot club or concert or championship game. Just Hunter, the kind of jerk with a secret Nutella addiction who was slightly fucked in the head.
The fears of what it meant to get close to her faded in the afterglow of her ball-busting laughter.
One episode rolled into the next. We moved from one game show to another, watching contestants try and fail their best at cakes even the best chefs would have trouble recreating.
I handed Sabrina napkins when she spewed her drink out her nose at a reveal of a cake creation that put Teresa’s Marvel superheroes cake attempt to shame. It was meant to be Superman, but it looked more like a poorly taxidermied raccoon.
“Is that a hunchback or is that supposed to be his arm? He’s Superman’s evil twin.” She gasped for air and wiped tears from her eyes, averting her gaze from the TV. “You guys have got to go on that show.”
I laughed and gulped from my glass. “We have enough on our plate.”
Her back went straight, and her lips parted with a finger held up beside her face. “What about a Bake-Off between all five of you? I’d pay money to see that.” She shoved her balled-up napkins into the empty container on the coffee table. Gripping her side, she finished the rest of her drink still chuckling. “I think I pulled a muscle.”
“That’s what you get for making fun of us. We’re SWANK, we’re the hottest new up-and-coming logistics and event coordinators on the East Coast and watch us make absolute fools of ourselves.” I wiggled my fingers in her direction and sunk them into her sides, not missing the chance to touch her, even if it was under the cover of tickling.
She yelped, rocking up onto the arm of the couch and kicking her feet at me. “You’re playing with fire! I’ll kick you so hard you’ll swear you’re rooming with a horse.”
Her foot connected with my chest.
My laugh came out as more like a wheeze. I stopped my advance and tried to fill my lungs with air.
“Sorry.” She cringed. “I tried to warn you.”
“Solid hit.” I rubbed the sore spot on my left pec.
“Are you sure it’s okay?” Her hand connected with my chest.
My heartbeat knocked against my ribs like it was breaking and entering. All the wants I’d been pushing aside for weeks came flooding back in.
Her lips. Her body. Her moans.
The way she calmed me and was the most comfortable person to be around other than the guys. Even they didn’t see the sides of me she’d seen. This was everything I’d been trying to stop, but right now it felt inevitable, like the nightmares where I was running away but never moved, only this wasn’t a nightmare. It was a dream denied.
She was all I could think about to the point of madness, and I didn’t know how much longer I could fight this.
I shrank back, not wanting her to know how much her touch affected me.
She jerked her hand back and dropped her gaze. “Sorry.” Swinging her legs down so her feet were flat on the floor, she busied herself with packing up the containers.
“Sabrina…”
“No, don’t.” It came out harsh and heavy. “I don’t get you, Hunter. One minute you’re into me and the next….” The plastic bags rustled as she closed the lids on the containers and gathered up the fortune cookies. “I get you liking your privacy and not wanting to get involved with someone you’re living with, but then stop sending mixed signals. I’m tired of the push and pull.”
“I—” My mouth snapped shut at her glare.
She was right. All the comfort and happiness of a few minutes ago had evaporated. It was like someone had flicked the lights on after last call at a bar and I was the sticky floor you hadn’t noticed until that moment. I wanted her, and the tightrope I was walking was getting thinner every day. For some reason I’d thought I could have a taste, just enough to take the edge off and be okay, but balancing high in the air, falling for her felt scarier than ever. “You don’t need to clean up. I can get all that before I head out.”
Her lips turned down and pinched together. “Fine, have a great night, Hunter.” She left and her door slammed shut.
I packed up all the dishes and food from our night in and then left. Instead of going to the afterparty for the concert, which was long over, I walked around the block. Each step cemented my resolve to change things between me and Sabrina. The denial was getting to both of us. Keeping her at arms’ length wasn’t working. My restraint was weakening with every second I spent with her.
On lap five around the block, it hit me. I sent out the messages and waited on the replies on how to fix what I’d spent the last two months making sure stayed broken.
25
Sabrina
Footsteps rumbled the floor and a sweaty, panting Hunter slammed into my doorway, bracing his hands on the doorjamb. His Adam’s apple bobbed.
I shot up from my seat. “Is something wrong?”
He swallowed audibly. “I have a surprise for you.”
My extended hand dropped to my side, and I cocked my head. “A surprise?”
“Yeah, what are you doing tonight?” His words were less breath-starved.
“Finishing up my pitch for a new promotional campaign. I’ve had another few inquiries.” But still no word from Harper Linens. Every day the nail in that coffin was hammered a little deeper, so I’d take what I could get. Any interest was good. Not a deluge, but enough to set myself up with some much-needed cash.
He looked over my shoulder. “When’s it due?”
“Next weekend.”
His shoulders relaxed. “Perfect.”
I looked over my shoulder and back at him. “What the hell is going on?”
“You’ll see.”
Someone knocked at the door.
“Perfect timing. Don’t go anywhere.” He disappeared back down the hallway.
“Where the hell does he expect me to go?” I walked closer to the door, praying he hadn’t bought that One Direction cardboard cutout he’d threatened to buy last puzzle night.
Voices came from the front door. More than one. Okay, he hadn’t ordered from that awesome Chinese food place and wanted me to stick around to share his egg foo young.
“We have three hours. Will that be enough time?” Hunter rounded the corner with three people. Two women and a man.
“She’s adorable. That’ll be more than enough time.” The woman in all black who looked like she’d entered an Audrey Hepburn look-alike competition rested her hand under her chin.