“Exactly.” Her shoulders dropped a fraction.
All the anger I’d been feeling earlier was now directed right at me. “Don’t—”
“We’re fine. Night, Hunter.” She bent and kissed my cheek. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
At each of her gentle footsteps retreating down the hallway, the blows in my chest hit harder. Her door closed, not slammed. It hurt even more.
I wanted her to rage at me, throw things at me, tell me how much of an inconsiderate asshole I was. Instead she was understanding of an issue I hadn’t even been able to put into words, which wasn’t going away.
I grabbed a pillow and held it over my face and screamed into it.
With anger still warring in my chest, I got out of bed and closed my door. With a tap on my phone the speakers came to life, music spilling out into the dead silence of the room.
28
Sabrina
A sound woke me, but it wasn’t the music rumbling through the walls. At this point, without the driving bass line, I probably couldn’t sleep. I stared up at the ceiling, straining for what it might’ve been. Nothing.
My eyes drifted closed again.
The three-minute-long guitar solo shredded for the third time tonight. He could at least have put a few different albums on repeat. At this point I could probably pick up a Fender Strat and play it myself.
There were no sea legs for Hunter Saxton.
We’d had sex, not once but twice. He’d taken me to Jameson’s, and I’d met all his friends. We’d even had a night in together, not that I hadn’t woken up on the couch by myself with a crick in my neck, but there had also been a blanket draped over me. But tonight he had been sweeping me off my feet on an entirely different level, and unfortunately, literally. Playful and hot as hell, it was everything it felt like we were, but then came the inevitable moment when it all ended.
Leaving was a lot easier than being escorted out again, but the pang in my chest had still been there. A lump in my throat where I’d hoped maybe I’d been wrong and he’d drag me right back into bed with him, but I’d been right and he’d let me go. At least now I knew where I stood. I knew what we were and only hoped I’d be able to protect my heart against the charm rocket boosters Hunter flicked on at a moment’s notice.
Fun and light, I could do that.
After tossing and turning through another two songs, I flung off my blankets and got out of bed. Maybe a night cap could get me back to sleep.
I opened my door, and my ears perked up at a noise between the breaks in the music. A voice talking, but the words were indistinct.
Following the sound, I stood outside Hunter’s door. The music kicked in again. I strained to hear over the din of the song.
But his voice was there. It was three in the morning, who could he be talking to? Pressing my ear against the door, I leaned in.
Those weren’t sounds of conversation. They were sounds of pain. Gut-wrenching, soul-splitting pain.
Without thinking, I flung the door open.
Tangled in his sheets, Hunter thrashed and flailed in his bed.
I rushed to him and grabbed his shoulders.
A hoarse cry came from his throat.
“Hunter, wake up.” I shook him, but his eyes were closed and his thrashing intensified, nearly dropping me off the side of the bed. Were you supposed to wake someone from a nightmare?
The pain in his voice ripped from his throat, which sounded raw, scaring me.
“Hunter!” I shook him harder. “Hunter, it’s me. Wake up.”
He shot forward. His head almost collided with mine.
My hands moved from his shoulders to one between his pecs and against his back to steady him.
His heart thundered beneath my palm, pounding even faster than the shredding solo. He stared at me with unfocused eyes.
“Hunter…”
He jumped and his gaze shot to mine. One second I stared into his eyes, and the next, I was crushed against him. His arms locked around my back so tightly I struggled to breathe, and my face was buried in the side of his neck.
Sweat soaked through my shirt, plastering it to my body, but all I could focus on was the trembling Hunter holding me with a fear-and-desperation-laced grip.
I stumbled, trying to get my feet back under me, and swayed as much as I could in his grasp, my own heart rate spiking at finding him this way.
Shuddering breaths shook his body. His fingers clutched at my back.
“It’s okay. I’m here.” I wished my hands were free to try to calm him more. Instead I used my voice to soothe him, repeating the phrases over and over and rocked us together.
He buried his face deeper into the crook of my neck, inhaling so deeply it felt like a breeze was whooshing in through an open window.
We sat there, clinging to each other until his heart no longer beat so strongly I couldn’t tell which was his and which was mine.
Tears prickled in my eyes, but I squeezed them tight. This wasn’t the time for me to freak out, but waking up to Hunter like this… I’d never been more scared in my life.
I rubbed my hands up and down his back with my restricted movement.
His grip loosened slowly and I could extricate my arms.
I wasn’t sure if he was clinging to me now because he needed me or because he didn’t want to face me. I dragged my fingers though his soaking hair.
“Why don’t you take a shower and get changed? I’ll make some hot chocolate.”
He didn’t say a word, but his arms released a bit more, no longer lung-restrictingly tight. His head dropped, and he finally let go completely.
I ran my fingers under his chin, lifting his head and not letting him evade my gaze.
“Grab a shower, and I’ll get the hot chocolate. I’m not taking no for an answer. I’ll be back in a few.” Leaving, I didn’t wait for his response.
I ducked into my room and changed my clothes, which were drenched. In my flannels, I popped into the kitchen and found a couple packets of marshmallow explosion hot chocolate. What was the point of hot chocolate without an absurd number of mini-marshmallows?
I searched through my stash and grabbed some chocolate chip cookie bars and a bottle of water. With the snacks and water shoved into my pockets, I walked down the hall to his bedroom.
Hunter sat on the edge of his bed with a towel wrapped around his waist. Water, not sweat, dripped from the tips of his hair and rolled down his neck.
“Here’s the hot chocolate.” I set the mug down on his nightstand and turned the handle toward him.
He stared straight into the dim light of the bathroom.
I fished the other supplies out of my pockets. “Why don’t you get dressed? The hot chocolate is here for you.”
He nodded without saying a word and walked into his closet.
I looked at his bed and darted back out of the room into the laundry room. Sheets for the bed were neatly folded on the shelf. Inside his room, I hugged the sheets against my chest.
A drawer closed in the closet, and I got to work, ripping the sheets off his bed, glad my skills could finally come in handy.
I was tucking the flat sheet under the mattress when Hunter walked out, shoving his arm into his t-shirt.
He stopped when he saw me. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I know.” I smoothed out the sheet and grabbed the duvet, unbuttoning it and pulling the bulky material out. “Is this why you didn’t want to sleep with me?” I peered up at him, hope burning brightly that I had been wrong for once, that all my instincts had been leading me astray.