“Mm-hmm.”
“Josh was born in San Diego.”
Charlotte seals the lid on the container. “What are you implying?”
“Maybe it’s just a coincidence.” But Olivia can’t shake the thought.
“What is?” Charlotte asks.
“Josh is here, Dad’s there, Lily’s missing. She could be dead.”
Charlotte’s complexion blanches. Hurt skates the rims of her eyes. “Olivia, please. Don’t talk like that. I’ve coped without Lily because I picture her out there alive and thriving. Don’t convince me otherwise.” Her face cracks. She retreats to the kitchen sink and flips on the faucet. Water pours into the sink. She stares at the dirty dishes, but Olivia doesn’t think she sees them.
“I don’t like it either, Mom, but we have to consider all possibilities. Josh may be with me for a while. Dad’s going to find out. Why can’t he know about Josh? Do you think he’d hurt him?” Olivia doesn’t believe so, not physically. Dwight and Lily had their disagreements, but he never laid a hand on her. He’d also get angry at Olivia, and usually because she deserved it, but he never struck her either.
“You were away at school. You didn’t see him before Lily ran. The rage in him. I’d never seen anything like it, Olivia. He was so upset about Lily’s pregnancy that she ran away. She left me. I don’t want to risk it.”
Was he upset enough to never stop looking for her all these years? A coldness seeps into Olivia like fog creeping in from the bay. Her hands turn to ice. It’s not a coincidence that he’s in San Diego. She’s positive. “He found her, didn’t he?”
Charlotte drops the sponge she soaked. She slowly turns to Olivia when something outside draws her back. “Who is that?”
Olivia looks outside and curses under her breath. “It’s Josh.” He’s heading toward their private dock. What’s he doing? She told him to stay in the car. “I’ll get him.”
“Take him home, Olivia. He can’t come in the house. Your father’s security cameras.”
Too late now. Olivia tries not to feel alarmed. “Dad never looks at the video footage.” He can barely log into his computer. Twice she’s tried to walk him through the app on his phone and he never got the hang of it.
“He does too.” Charlotte wrings her hands.
And he will if he has reason to look through the footage. Olivia watches Josh mount the dock. Her limbs tingle as adrenaline courses through her extremities.
“Get dressed. I’ll see what he’s up to.” After closing the french door behind her, Olivia dashes across the yard. “Josh, wait up.”
He’s hauling, his pace a reminder that he’s Lily’s son. Lily was quick, whether chasing Lucas in a game of tag, breaking records in the fifty-yard freestyle, or running away from home.
She catches up with him at the end of the dock. Hands stuffed in his hoodie pockets, shoulders rounded against the wind, he gazes over the choppy water.
“I told you to wait in the car. What are you doing here?” She gasps, short of breath.
“Looking for you. Saw that.” He points across the bay toward the sleepy ocean-side town of Morro Bay.
“That’s Morro Rock,” she says of the massive volcanic rock dominating the coastline. Behind the geological formation, three four-hundred-foot-plus smokestacks left over from an old power plant tower over the Pacific coast. Her inspiration of the source of the Crimson Wave’s power. Every day she looked out her bedroom window at this view. So did Lucas and Lily. “Cool,” he says, showing no sign of leaving.
“We should go. Come on.” She’ll ask Amber to stay with him and come back later.
Josh looks up at the house. “Mom?”
Olivia glances over her shoulder. “She’s not here, I told you that.”
He shakes his head and points at her.
“Me? Oh, my mom. She’s inside.”
Josh starts walking toward the house.
“Where are you going?” She chases after him. “Josh, stop.” She tugs the sleeve of his new sweatshirt. He gets too close to the cameras, Dwight will have a clear picture of his face.
He turns around. “My . . . mom.” He points at the house.
“Like I said, she’s not here.” How many times does she have to explain this? “I was asking my mom about yours when we saw you out the window.”
He holds his hand at his waist. “Mom . . . girl . . . bat . . . rug.” He smacks his forehead repeatedly. “Little!”
“I don’t—” She stares at his hand. “Do you mean little girl?” He nods vigorously. “Yes, you’re right. This was her home when she was little.”
“See?”
“See what? Her room?”
He nods.
How does she tell him no? He’ll ask why. He’s probably curious about his mom’s childhood. Did Lily share anything with him? She left behind her clothes, artwork, scrapbooks, and journals.
On a slight gasp, Olivia looks up at the house.
Charlotte’s kept Lily’s room unchanged for years. She’s also kept the door locked as if it was too tempting, yet too painful, to look inside. What if Lily wrote in her journal about her pregnancy and where she was thinking of running away to?
She might have named the father. Olivia still believes Josh’s father might know how to reach Lily. He might even know where she could have gone.
“Keep your head down.”
He gives her a funny look and she huffs impatiently. Yes, it’s a weird request. “Just do it. I’ll explain later.”
CHAPTER 18
After Olivia confirms Charlotte is in her room getting ready for work, which gives her plenty of time to scour Lily’s room and get Josh back to the car, she puts a finger to her lips for Josh to be quiet and leads him into the kitchen. Olivia searches for a tool to unlock Lily’s door. “Found it.” She shows Josh the paper clip. “Follow me.”
At Lily’s bedroom door, she shapes the paper clip into a somewhat straight wire and jams the makeshift device into the doorknob, working the lock. As she does, she wonders how Josh will react when he sees his mom’s childhood room. How will she react? She’s so used to the door being closed that it’s as if the room hasn’t been here all these years. As if Lily was never a member of the family. Something was going on between Lily and their parents that Olivia failed to recognize when it mattered. Not only that, she failed her sister. If Olivia had helped Lily when she needed it, they wouldn’t be in this mess. Lily’s bedroom wouldn’t be the empty space everyone tiptoed around. Josh would have grown up surrounded by family. Olivia has so many regrets.
The paper clip misses the notch inside the knob and Olivia mutters under her breath. Will Lily’s room smell the same? Warm, fresh, and feminine from her favorite perfume? Or will the air be stale like Olivia’s memories of Lily have become? They aren’t as clear anymore, and after talking with Ethan last night, she wonders if everything that occurred between her and Lily happened the way she believes.
The paper clip slips from the knob and scrapes her thumb. “Ow.” She’s horrible at breaking and entering. She sucks the tip, glancing back at Josh. He’s halfway down the hall looking at the framed photos on the wall. He makes a noise.