He shakes his head. “I’ll let you know if I remember something.”
She nods slowly. Ethan wasn’t that much of a help, but his visit wasn’t exactly a waste of time. Without him, she might not have found the envelope in Josh’s bag. She no longer has to wonder what would have happened to them if she didn’t break up with him. They wouldn’t have lasted that long after college graduation. Their love wasn’t deep enough, she sees that now. She probably would have ditched him somewhere between Australia and Asia during their trek around the globe.
“Do you mind calling it a night then? It’s late and I want to look up that law firm.”
“Sure. Call if you need anything from me.”
She nods, distracted, and walks with him to the front. When she opens the door, it occurs to her he has a long drive home. “Do you want a coffee or something?”
He shakes his head. “I’m just down the road. I’m staying at Caroline’s rental in Pismo.” His sister. “Been there all week working on an article.”
“Oh.” He’s close. No wonder he invited himself over. He was probably more curious than courteous.
A truck passes the house, same make and model as Blaze’s. She feels a dull pinch in her chest, at first thinking it was him, then fleetingly hoping he doesn’t drive by. He’ll see Ethan’s car and know she has company. He might get the wrong idea. She doesn’t want to hurt him more than she already has, then remembers she doesn’t care.
“Actually, do you mind coming over tomorrow?” She’s anxious to jump on her new lead and they didn’t have a chance to delve into his relationship with Lily. He might have overheard or seen something he thought insignificant but could be monumental for her and Josh. “We can talk over dinner.”
Ethan’s shoulders push back, the only sign of his surprise at the invite. “Sure. I’ll pick something up.”
“Great.” She doesn’t have to worry about cooking. She probably wouldn’t have time anyway, not with their schedule tomorrow. “Night, Ethan.”
“See you tomorrow.” He lifts his chin and makes his way to his car.
She doesn’t wait for him to drive away. She bolts the door and jumps on to her computer.
CHAPTER 15
LUCAS
Day 4
Lucas backpaddles with a double blade until he slips the kayak into the current. He follows the shoreline as he’s done since he was a kid. He’d struggle to keep pace with Dwight, trying to impress him as if the man earned the #1 Dad in the World award. There was a time when Lucas would have purchased a hundred of those cheap plastic trophies and filled Dwight’s office.
Now, Lucas can outpaddle, outrun, outmaneuver, and outsmart his dad. He made sure of it. Because one of these days he’s going to run. Not from Dwight or the law, but from Lily. When she returns, he can’t face her. And she will return. Josh found his way here; it’s inevitable.
He maintains a punishing pace, cutting the carbon blade into the water. Left, right, left, right, stroke after stroke. He wants his arms to burn and body to sweat so he knows that he feels, that he’s capable of caring.
He didn’t care when he watched Lily run away. He had been so jaded after his stint in juvie, abandoned by his own father, that he witnessed the clusterfuck of events go down and he didn’t lift a finger to stop Dwight. By the end, Wes Jensen floated in the bay and Lily was gone.
Lucas rounds a bend and his house disappears from view. He might be thirty-three and living with his parents, but he’s not a failure to launch. After witnessing Dwight threaten Wes, he kept close to protect his mom. Who knows when Dwight will go off the rails again?
He grunts and paddles harder, digging into the water. The kayak skims across the surface like skates on ice. The wind rakes its nails across his face and tunnels up his nose, shoving the rotten smells of sun-warmed algae and decomposing fish into his lungs. Like food scraps down a disposal.
He glides past a family of four out for a leisurely row. They wave. He ignores. Something he’s good at doing. He doesn’t have to answer to anyone or make excuses for being a pathetic asshole.
A few days after Lily ran away, when Dwight had been called in for questioning about the drowning of Wes Jensen off their dock, Lucas cut across the back lawn from his apartment above the garage to the shore. The best way to evade the constant stream of police cars and nosy neighbors was to avoid them. Put his head down and carry on as if nothing extraordinary had happened.
He rounded the back deck and heard weeping. Looking in that direction, he saw Charlotte. Bundled in a wool blanket on a patio chaise, his formidable mother appeared small and fragile, a flower wilting in the April mist.
He mounted the deck and sat by her feet. She reached for him, hand on the blanket, palm up. After a moment, Lucas wove his fingers with hers. He wanted comfort from her as much as he wanted to comfort her. Out of character for him, but he didn’t give a shit.
“You don’t have to hide from me, Lucas. I know you saw your dad with Wes the other night,” she whispered.
Lucas could have stopped them, but he hadn’t. His jaw ticked. He could still hear the echo of the shot that went off when Lily tried to wrestle the rifle from Dwight.
“Your father doesn’t know you were watching. Keep it that way. Best no one knows.”
He moved to extract his hand. Charlotte’s grip tightened. “I’m trying to protect you, Lucas, like I’ve been protecting your little sister. It’s not your fault she left. She didn’t have a choice. You saw what your father did to that boy. I worried he’d harm her, too. He was incensed about her pregnancy. I’m the one who helped her run away even before your father told her to go.” Lucas’s eyes widened and she leaned closer. “I’ve wondered if your father did something to Benton St. John.”
He tilted his head. “What?”
“Our neighbor. Remember him?”
“Barely.” Benton was murdered when Lucas was three.
“It’s just a feeling. But after what happened with Wes, that feeling’s back. That poor boy. I couldn’t see from the window, but I heard him. I know he was here. Then he wasn’t. What did you see?”
Something he’d never be able to forget. Guilt over his failure to act on Lily’s behalf crept through him, making itself at home. It wouldn’t leave anytime soon. He should have stormed the scene, ripped the rifle from Dwight’s hands, shot him in the chest, and dumped his body in the ocean. Lily would have no longer feared him, and she wouldn’t have had to run away.
“Nothing I want to talk about,” he said.
Charlotte squeezed his fingers. “He’s not the man I married, Lucas. His failed campaigns have changed him. Our tight finances have made him bitter. And Benton St. John, your father was different after Benton’s body was found. I don’t want to find out what else he’s capable of.” Her voice quavered. She clung to his hand. “Wherever Lily is, she’s safe, safer than if she’d stayed.”
Lucas studied their linked hands. Charlotte’s knuckles were ghostly white against her skin. She was shaking. Her trembles ran up his arm. He vowed to keep her safe. Whatever her reason—possibly fear Dwight would come after her, or the feeling she had no escape. He’d read an article about emotionally abused spouses and their belief there was no way out—she wouldn’t leave Dwight. But Lucas wouldn’t allow him to harm anyone else, no matter the cost.