“That’s when you called me?”
“Yes.”
He whistles. “Shit, Liv. I would have come earlier. Wait. You aren’t saying your dad pushed him?”
She feels like someone scooped out her heart and let it melt on the hot pavement. Her back buckles from the hollow space left in her chest. “I don’t want to believe it, but yeah, I think that’s what I’m saying.”
“Liv, baby, no.” Blaze cups her neck and leans his forehead on hers, and Olivia wants to melt into him. It feels wonderful to have him touch her again, even if only to soothe. “He’s not like that. Yeah, he was a dick toward Lily, but that’s quite an accusation. You’re missing something.”
“I hope so.”
“What’s all this got to do with Miller?”
“Blaze.” She drags out his name. Of course he’d circle back to Ethan.
His gaze narrows. “Are you sleeping with him?”
“Give me a break.” She huffs. She doesn’t have time for his jealousy. “Nothing’s going on.” Her gaze slides out the open window. Ethan is finishing up the steaks. She owes Blaze an answer, but this is a much longer conversation. “Look, I just want to question him about Lily, that’s it. He leaves town tomorrow.”
She retreats into the closet for Blaze’s PUMAs and joins him at the window. He intently watches the guys outside.
“I’ll call you tomorrow and tell you everything, promise.” She tries to give him his shoes. He doesn’t take them. He turns to her, the motorcycle helmet hanging from his hand. He gently bounces the helmet against his thigh.
“I’ve been thinking about the other night. I overreacted.”
He overreacted? “You were mild compared to me.”
“I get it. You don’t trust easily. I hurt you once and now you’re overly cautious. Nothing wrong with that.”
“You were my first,” she murmurs, as if that made his betrayal much worse. Maybe it’s one of the reasons she’s overly sensitive when it comes to him. They’ve never openly talked this past year. She wanted to keep it light and fun and uncomplicated. But now, everything she held back from him wants to pour out like a tipped carton of juice.
“You were mine. I was young and stupid.” He fits a hand to her face, and his touch feels like a long-missed kiss. He’s her magnet, her refuge amid the unrest in her life. She unconsciously leans into him, needing him more now than ever before.
“I saw Macey’s texts and it was high school all over again.” It was losing summers with the Whitmans, her close relationship with Lucas. It was losing Blaze. It was Lily leaving.
“I know. That’s why I want to give you a second chance.”
“Me?”
“Us. I mean us.” He chuckles, rolls his eyes. “See? Stupid.”
“You’re not stupid.” He’s braver than her, the way he dove into their relationship like he did after all he’s been through. His estrangement with Tyler because Blaze had been in the service when Rhonda was most ill and Tyler was left to care for her. The sudden death of his father. Rhonda’s year of suffering after the doctors tried everything. He also sees right through her to the heart of her issues: trust. Rather, the lack of it. She’s a little slow on the uptake when it comes to letting people in.
Blaze plays with the ends of her hair. “I gave you a free pass to call me stupid. Take it.”
He’s trying to be funny, but her suspicious mind has her peering at him cautiously. “Are you saying this because Ethan’s here?”
He shrugs, noncommittally, then quickly holds up his hands. “No! I mean, no.”
She scoffs and pushes the soles of his shoes into his chest. He grabs the sneakers before they drop. “Good night, Blaze. We’ll talk tomorrow,” she says, making her way to the door.
“This has nothing to do with Miller.”
“Thanks for the booze.” She gives the bottle a shake. “You can show yourself out.”
“I still plan to propose to you.”
She stops. The air snags in her throat as she waits for the claustrophobia that comes knocking whenever she thinks about opening herself up to someone, which she’d have to do in a marriage. When she starts feeling that pressure, that’s her sign to get out before she gets screwed over. But she doesn’t feel it with Blaze.
He’s behind her, his warm breath on her neck. “I still plan to be the one to hold you at night when you wake from your nightmares, all sweaty and panting.” He draws a finger down her spine. “I’m going to be there because you want me there. I know you, Liv, better than anyone. Give us another chance,” he whispers by her ear and she shivers. She wants to, more than anything, surprisingly. But she’s been selfish her entire life. Her love life needs to take the back burner for the moment. Josh needs her. And if Ethan can remember anything that can help her locate Lily, Olivia needs to find out what that is before he leaves town.
She moves out of reach. Yes, they need to talk some more. A lot more. But not right now. Her focus needs to be on Lily and Josh, not her love life, or lack thereof.
“Then let me help you with Lily.”
“How?”
“However you need me. I’ll make calls. You tell me. But don’t feel like this is all on you. Leaning on someone isn’t a sign of weakness. And baby, you can lean on me all you want.” The corner of his mouth draws up and a little smile curves her lips.
“Okay. Let’s talk tomorrow.” Given how unreliable Lucas is, she could use his assistance.
“Good. I’ll be waiting.” Blaze kisses her temple, then slowly squeezes past her in the narrow doorway. He nods at the Fireball clutched in her hand. “Keep Miller’s paws off my bottle. That’s ours when you’re ready. We’ll get stupid drunk and fuck like horny teens.”
“Jesus, Blaze.” Her face heats. She follows him to the front door.
“Keep our bed warm for me, baby,” he says loud enough for anyone in the house to hear. He blows her a kiss and lets the door slam behind him. The windows rattle as if to emphasize his point.
Movement in her peripheral vision draws her attention to the kitchen. Ethan hovers in the doorway, tongs in hand.
“Steaks are ready.” He smirks because he probably overheard most of that.
She smiles tightly. “Great.”
Twenty minutes later, after the potatoes are cooked, Olivia admits she doesn’t have an appetite. By the looks he gives her, Ethan can tell her mind is far from him. He agrees to leave when Olivia asks him. She has more pressing matters demanding her attention. She walks him out.
“What were you going to tell me, back in the house before Blaze showed?” she asks when they reach his car.
He presses a button on the key fob and his engine starts. He turns to her, his expression solemn. “Lily didn’t tell me she was pregnant. I wasn’t supposed to know. She didn’t want anyone to know. But I picked her up from work and a pregnancy test fell out of her bag. She wouldn’t tell me who the father is. Trust me, I asked. She also refused my offer to help. I should have told you, but she asked for my confidence, and I—” He shrugs, regretful. “I kept my word.”