Will she ever come to terms with Lily’s demise? Can she without closure? And what is she supposed to do with her son?
She grabs the sponge and squeezes out the water. If something has happened to Lily, she’ll have to track down Ethan, because the one thing harder than looking at and talking to his son, knowing Josh or a boy like him could easily have been hers, would be raising him.
The doorbell rings and Olivia startles. Josh tenses, his eyes on the front door like a cat primed to bolt.
“It’s only dinner,” she says, drying her hands while willing her racing heart to ease up on its drumroll. His gaze moves apprehensively between her and the front door. He slides his legs out from under the table and grabs his backpack. Taking a cue from Amber, she simplifies her words, gestures with her hands. “Food. Burgers.” She mimes eating, pointing at the door.
Strained lines leave his face and his body molds to the chair.
“Be right back.”
She gets the food and divvies out their burgers and fries. Aside from a few complimentary grunts from Josh, they eat in relative silence. Josh devours his cheeseburger. Olivia picks at her fries, wondering if this is the first meal he’s eaten today. Her phone pings with a text to rate her Dasher and she gets an idea.
“Have you called your mom to let her know you’re here?”
He shakes his head.
“Do you have a phone on you?”
He bites into a fry and shakes his head again.
That’s unfortunate.
“Here. Use mine.” She slides her phone across the table. “Give her a call. She must be worried.” Lily ran away because she wanted to keep her baby. Either Josh ran away on his own, or something happened to her so they were separated. Otherwise Olivia imagines Lily wouldn’t let Josh from her sight, not with his condition.
He stares at her phone.
“Go ahead,” she encourages. She taps the screen, prompting him to act.
He frowns and Olivia tilts her head. “Do you know her number? You know, her phone . . . number.” She slows the pace of her words but his frown deepens.
“Yes,” he says.
“Great! Call her.” She inches the phone closer.
He digs into his cheeseburger in no apparent rush to call. All right. She’ll try another tactic. She picks up the phone. “Give me her number. I’ll call her.”
He sends her an empty look, so she mimes dialing and talking on the phone. She looks at him expectantly. “What . . . is . . . your . . . mom’s . . . number?”
He sets down his burger and counts on his fingers. His mouth forms shapes. She watches, dumbstruck he has difficulty with numbers, too. “Five . . . nine . . .” He stops. His hands drop. He stares at his food.
“And?” she prompts.
He averts his face. His expression is tight but it doesn’t stop his chin from quivering.
“Josh,” she says, trying not to sound intimidating. “Did you forget her number?”
He stares at the floor. She taps the corner of her phone against her chin. He might not remember Lily’s number, but the fact he tried to give it to her so she could call tells her Lily isn’t dead. Otherwise, why would he bother?
She wants to melt with relief onto the table. “Where is she?”
He shrugs.
“Can you tell me then why you’re here? How did you find me? Who was that woman who dropped you off?”
Josh presses his lips tighter after each question until they’ve lost all color.
Her own frustration mounts. How can she help him if he doesn’t at least try to answer her? “Josh—”
“No.”
“Look—”
“No!” He covers his ears and squeezes his eyes shut. “No, no, no.”
“Okay, okay. No more questions.” Her heart races up her throat, anxiety rising with it, heightening her fear that something terrible has happened to Lily.
Leaning back in her chair, she glances at the microwave clock. It’s late. He’s tired, and she has work to do. With any luck Lily will be here by morning, or Josh will come around. He’ll tell her what happened. Otherwise she’s calling the police. Or Lucas. Someone is bound to know what’s going on.
Josh lowers his hands and opens his eyes. “Thank . . . you.”
She sighs, feeling small because she keeps upsetting him. She slides her phone aside and stuffs a cold fry in her mouth. “You’re welcome.” His lip twitches as if he’s fighting a smile and in him, she sees Lucas. How vibrant was Josh before his accident? Was he like Lucas was as a kid, a rebellious jokester you couldn’t help but love? She wishes she’d met Josh before today.
CHAPTER 5
Summer of ’97
Olivia was up early, the gray dawn sky visible through the trees. Birds chattered, flitting around the branches. A thin coat of dew sheened the metal dock, the air damp and crisp. She wore a sweatshirt to ward off the chill. As soon as the sun broke over the lake, warming the earth, she would ditch the layer, tossing it over a deck rail until the evening when the temperature dropped and stars brightened. From sunup to sundown, she spent her days in her bathing suit. But not today. It was the first full day of their third six-week summer break at the Whitmans’ cabin. This morning Mr. Whitman was taking them on a survival hike, a mandatory excursion if she, Blaze, Lucas, and Tyler wanted to hike in the surrounding forest without him or Mrs. Whitman.
Olivia sat in the hammock, her legs dangling over the side, a sketch pad in her lap. While waiting for the boys to finish breakfast, she’d started drawing Lily as a baby but added a cape and metal wristbands. Her Lily could fly. She was stronger than any of them put together. And her temper tantrum screams could fight evil by breaking windows.
She giggled. Lily didn’t need super screams to shatter glass. Her fit last night when she’d learned she couldn’t hike with them rattled their ears. Olivia stuck a pinkie in her ear and wiggled it around. Her eardrum still itched. Lily had shrieked directly in her ear when she carried her little sister around, patting her back, trying to calm her down while Mrs. Whitman tried to assure Lily they’d have just as much fun waiting for Olivia and the boys to return.
Olivia toed the ground with her brand-new hiking boots, rocking back and forth. Dwight bought her and Lucas pairs after she blew out her sneakers three weeks into last summer’s stay.
The back door slid closed and Mr. Whitman bounded off the deck shouldering an overstuffed backpack. Blaze, Lucas, and Tyler, wearing the ratty old T-shirts Mr. Whitman gave them because he had plans for the shirts and didn’t want them ruining their own, followed like weary soldiers who’d been up all night. Lucas hadn’t bothered to comb out his cowlicks. She could see a line of white scalp on the back of his head from where his hair swept to the side.
“Ready, Olivia?” Mr. Whitman asked as he passed her on the way to the shore.
“Ready!” She tossed aside her pencil and pad of paper and started to get up. Blaze launched himself onto the hammock, knocking her back. He hugged her waist, keeping her in the hammock.
“It’s too early,” he whined. “Tell him we want to go tomorrow. He’ll listen to you, Livy.”
“No way.” She, too, was exhausted. They’d stayed up well past midnight, playing card games and giggling in the center ring of their tent star. But she was also excited for this adventure. She read a survival guide on the way up yesterday just for this hike.