If it’s me, then she’s made a huge mistake. I don’t want to talk to her. How could she even remotely think otherwise?
She glances back at me, but the expression on her face doesn’t change from pleasant neutral.
“And we’re going to talk about this dating thing.” Tess turns back to her coffee as I do my best to hold back a scream. Does she really not understand the effect her words had on me? I glare at her, but I make my voice as pleasant as I can when I respond.
“Yeah, sure. Whatever.” I move into the kitchen to look for food—I’ve made a habit of asking before I eat anything now which seems to piss Tess off. What would also piss her off is knowing that I slept with her son last night. I can’t believe we actually had sex, I think as I stare at Tess and feel the sharp dagger of betrayal bury itself deep in my heart. When she finds out, she’s going to despise me; I just know it. Somehow, that doesn’t seem to matter. She dislikes me anyway, doesn’t she? “I’m glad Lumen’s back. Guess Parrish was right.”
Parrish.
I smile as memories of last night flooding in. That is, until Chasm clears his throat from behind me and I jump. When I spin to face him, everything else seems to fade away. He’s staring down at me like I’ve taken a hammer to his heart, shattered it, made him bleed.
The sunflowers … ask about the sunflowers. I feel suddenly tongue-tied and disoriented in his presence in a way I’ve never been before.
“I hope he was at least a gentleman,” he grinds out, his voice thick with caustic humor. Tess can’t hear us, not with the sound of the milk steaming and the wall-mounted TV murmuring the morning’s news. “If he wasn’t, I’ll kill ‘im.”
“Chas,” I start, but there’s something tender and weird here that I feel like I have to explore. I don’t regret anything that happened with Parrish, but … I do regret the way I seem to have made Chasm feel. “When you walked in on us last night—”
He laughs at me, reaching up to tousle my hair, putting me right back into the ‘Little Sister’ category.
“Don’t worry about it. You two deserve each other.” He throws the words out like he doesn’t care, but there’s just something about his face that says otherwise, a crack that I can see straight through. “Lumen’s back?” he says loudly, just as Tess’ milk finishes and she pours it into her coffee. “That’s unfortunate.”
“That’s enough of that, Kwang-seon,” Tess tells him, turning around and leaning back against the countertop as she takes her first sip. “Is Parrish up yet? I think it’d be nice if we did something together as a family today.” She gives Chasm a look. “You included, of course.”
“Always an honor, Mrs. Vanguard,” he says with a disarming smile, but not like it’s all bullshit either. He means that. He likes it here, and even if I don’t, I can’t blame him. “I’ll go check on him.” Chasm gives me a conspiratorial sort of look, but I haven’t seen Parrish this morning.
When I knocked, he didn’t answer, so I figured he was still sleeping.
Chasm leaves while I pour myself a glass of orange juice and toss some bread in the toaster. Tess isn’t looking at or talking to me which is a relief; I’m not even sure what I’d say. If that’s how this family operates—that is, pretending like nothing bad ever happens—then I’ll play along. For now, at least.
Because even if I hate it here, I’ve got Parrish.
“He’s not answering his door. Must be tired.” Chasm reappears, shrugging his shoulders, but giving me yet another powerful look. I meet his stare, but there’s nothing that I can say in front of Tess. Instead, I spread peanut butter on my toast and take the food upstairs.
I end up eating my food in peace, checking my messages and finding one from Lumen. Party was insane; I woke up in a field with no memory of how I got there. Huh. That doesn’t sound good; I worry about sexual assault in a situation like that. Dad is not happy; I’ll be on lockdown like it’s covid 2020. LOL
With a sigh, I shake my head and rub at the bridge of my nose. I can voice my concerns to Lumen later.
For now … I set my phone and empty plate aside, heading into the bathroom to shower and change. When I come out, I open my bathroom door to find Tess picking Parrish’s lock. The sight infuriates me, if I’m honest.
“What are you doing?” I ask as Chasm stands back, arms crossed over his chest, mouth set into a deep frown. He flicks amber eyes my way but doesn’t say anything. I still need to ask him about the damn flowers.
“We’ve been knocking and knocking, shouting his name,” Tess begins, jiggling the little metal pin in the doorknob. She’s clearly trying to stay calm, but on the inside, she’s panicking. I frown as she curses and yanks at the knob. “I’m worried that he might’ve hurt himself.”
Great. Now I’m starting to freak out.
I wait as Tess unlocks the door and throws it open, moving into the room like she expects to find Parrish lying facedown on the floor.
“Jesus, Little Sister, what’d you do to him last night? Ride him to death?”
I glare at Chas, pushing past him into the room as Tess flings open the bathroom door.
It’s empty.
Tess pauses, putting her hands on her hips, and exhaling a sigh of relief. “He must be downstairs somewhere.” She looks over at the two us and raises a perfectly manicured and microbladed eyebrow. “Did something happen last night?”
I feel suddenly unsteady on my feet, my tongue tied as I try to puzzle out, exactly, what she means by that. Luckily for me, Chas steps forward to fill in the awkward space.
“Business as usual,” he replies, flicking open the front page of Parrish’s sketchbook. There’s a green rose there, not dissimilar to the drawing he gave me. Chasm turns the page and there’s another rose. And another. Parrish has been practicing the design all week apparently. “I ended up sleeping downstairs after we finished our movie, but that’s about it.”
Wait, he spent the night? Chasm spent the night here while we were … Shit. Last night went from bad to better to best, and this morning … it seems to be following the reverse of that pattern.
“Nothing happened with us,” I add blandly, which feels like the worst lie I’ve ever told. Something did happen with us, something amazing, something incredible. It was honestly one of the best nights in my entire life.
Tess moves past us and into the hallway, heading for the stairs. All I can think is that Parrish got up and went for a walk or … something. Maybe he needed time to think? I’ve made my decision. He said that, didn’t he? Then we got naked together and crossed off a whole bunch of firsts from both our lists. We talked about telling Tess. He seemed nervous but resolved, excited even.
Did he change his mind since last night? Does he regret what happened between us?
“Don’t look so nervous; Parrish wouldn’t just … well, you know, with you and then take off. He’s around here somewhere.” Famous last words, I think as Chasm struts past me, and I follow.
We help Tess search out the rest of the house: the sauna, the pool, the gym, Paul’s office, her office, the bedrooms, the backyard.