When her lips find mine again, her kiss is hungry. Lifting her in my arms, I carry her into the shower, and the heat of the water barely matches the temperature of the fire burning between us.
“I need you,” she gasps into my mouth. Her lips taste so good, the warm pulse of her heart against my chest, the steady reminder that she is alive, so very fucking alive. And my new drive to claim her, own her, be her everything is different now. I need her to give herself to me, so I know she is mine and I am hers. Neither of us are alone anymore.
I press her to the tile wall as she wraps her legs around me. Her lips continue to devour mine, licking her tongue into my mouth, seeking that soft friction as I press my cock to the soft entrance it craves.
Once I’m inside her, we both let out a groan, the sound echoing off the walls, and it feels like home. Being so fused together we become one, I squeeze her even tighter. I feel myself falling—no, careening, toward something that scares me. This feeling is like opening my chest, making everything important to me vulnerable to someone else. If she wanted, she could tear out my heart, crush it with her hands, and I would let her. She could kill me, and I’d still worship her for it.
The air in the shower is too hot, her body too tight, and her delicious cunt too warm. I pump into her, slowly but at a pace that makes my head fuzzy.
“Fuck me, Cullen,” she pants.
I thrust harder, and our bodies move in unison each pump of my cock sending us together. I don’t feel like I’m chasing a climax anymore. I’m not using her body to get off. It’s more like I’m savoring this feeling, this immense, body torturing pleasure we’re feeling together and giving to each other. It’s fucking transcendental, and I’m not ready to come. I don’t want this to end, and I don’t feel like fucking her harder just to get off.
But if we keep this up in the shower, I’m sure that we will both be passing out before long, so in a breathless whisper, I press my lips to her ear and say, “I need you in the bed. Now.”
We barely bother with drying off. There’s no point. I’m just going to work up a sweat anyway. As I toss her onto the bed, I take her hands in mine, pressing them above her head and pinning them to the mattress as I slide inside again. Her back arches and she cries out. It’s a delicious sensation, but I need more. I need everything with her.
My heart aches, like it’s raw and hurting, and the only cure is her.
“Can I fuck you all night?” Kissing her collarbone, I lick up the water clinging to her skin from her neck to her earlobe.
“Don’t ever stop fucking me.”
I couldn’t stop if I tried at this point. Every moment our bodies are fused makes me feel whole like she is the piece I was missing. I take her in every position I can get her, watching her face for any signs of pleasure or pain, learning every part of her. Taking her to the point of ecstasy as many times as I can. When she yells out, her body spasming and her lungs holding in her breath, I memorize it.
And I make her come as many times as I can without losing it myself. It’s like penance for the first time I fucked her, making sure she never came.
As she collapses against me after climaxing from riding my dick, she looks at me like I’m crazy and smiles. “Is this a new form of punishment?”
“It’s not meant to be. Is it bad?” I reply.
“Not at all.” Leaning in to kiss me, I let her reach into my chest and tear my heart out. It’s hers now anyway. “You’re not punishing yourself, are you?” She climbs off of me and reaches down to take my length in her hand. It’s still painfully hard in desperate need of release.
“I’m not punishing myself,” I say, but as soon as the words are out of my mouth, I doubt the truth to them. She shimmies backward until she’s facing my cock and I know what she’s about to do before she even does it, and when her lips close around my cock, I let out a body shaking groan.
“Fuck, Everly…” I moan.
One hand clasps my cock as she pumps me, her tongue soft against the head. The other hand travels up my body, raking her nails across my abs, and my body breaks out in chills.
“What are you doing to me?” I say. My fingers bury themselves in her hair, loving the momentum of her head as it bobs up and down on my shaft. She keeps it up, and I feel myself breaking, but still, I try to savor this.
She breaks off a moment and glares up at me. “Give it to me, Cullen. Give me your pleasure.”
“I’m scared.” The words just slip out, and I have no idea where they even came from or why I say them. But something in her expression changes. Then she winds her fingers in mine, clasping our hands together hard as she takes me in her mouth again. This time she sucks me with so much intensity it steals the orgasm straight from my body. When I feel myself shuddering and fighting it, she squeezes my hand tighter.
“I’m coming,” I mutter in case she wants to pull off, but she doesn’t. Instead, she swallows me down, drinking every drop. The climax spreads through my body, lasting forever as it clamps down and breaks me, shattering every fragment of who I am until there is nothing left.
Until I am nothing but hers.
When the pleasure finally subsides and I can breathe again, she crawls up my body and kisses my face, moving from my ear to my jaw, and I steal her lips, piercing her mouth so I can taste myself on her tongue.
It’s past three in the morning when we finally crawl under the covers. Holding her tight to my body, I kiss her forehead. In the quiet darkness, she whispers, “What did you mean you were scared?”
This shit isn’t easy for me, and maybe it’s just from the exhaustion or high emotions of the day, but I feel my lips spilling my heart’s secrets before I can stop myself.
“My whole life I’ve leaned on hate to get me through everything that happened to me. I hated my dad, everyone who put him away, you…” I add, looking down at her and catching her eyes in the moonlight. “It was easier that way. But this…whatever this is…it feels better. It’s just scary for me, Everly. What if I’m wrong? What if I’ve been too terrible to you already and you can’t find a way to forgive me? What if I fall and you don’t? I don’t have any more room in my life for pain? I just don’t want to feel alone anymore.”
Leaning up on her elbows, she looks down at me, and I remember for a moment that she is older than me, and until this moment I had forgotten. The reminder doesn’t exist in every moment of our lives so when I do remember that to her, I’m just a kid, I search her features for a sign that she sees me like that. But it’s never there.
“You’re not alone, Cullen, and I do forgive you. And whatever this is,” she says gesturing between our bodies. “I think you know what this is, and it’s not hate, not anymore.”
Pulling her forehead to mine, I hold her close, letting myself enjoy this moment of being so connected to another person. It’s scary as fuck, knowing if I end up alone after this, it will hurt that much more, but she is so fucking worth it.
When I open my eyes, the sun is shining through the cracks around the heavy curtains, and the space in the bed next to me is empty. In a panic, I burst up and search the dark room for her. Then I hear the clicking sound of her fingers against the keyboard of her computer, and I let out a sigh of relief.