Jackson’s eyelids lowered by half, his expression losing some of its softness, as did his voice. “Is that what it’s like between you and Harrison Copeland? Fun?”
My lips parted as realization slowly dawned, and I felt more than a little idiotic. Jackson thought Harrison and I were together, because as far as the whole world was concerned, Harrison and I were engaged.
Jackson’s lips twisted into a smile that didn’t look very friendly. “Does dedication come easy to Harrison, do you think?”
Oh. Wow.
I knew exactly what Jackson meant by that, and his meanness was completely unexpected. The fact that my engagement was fake might’ve been a secret, but Harrison’s supposed cheating wasn’t. Maybe Domino was right, maybe Harrison’s exploits did make me look pathetic.
Hearing this suspicion confirmed by my dreamy deputy sliced deep.
I must’ve made some sort of face, or maybe my silence betrayed me, but not a split second later, the deputy closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. “I’m sorry. That was rude.”
“No, it’s—it wasn’t.” I shook my head, still stunned and processing his statement, which—wait a second—had been rude. How dare he!
Had this conversation occurred two weeks ago, I probably would’ve let his comment go. But, I don’t know, I felt different after my two weeks alone and with Sienna’s family. They were all so darn nice to each other, and they’d been nice to me.
“Actually, yes. It was rude,” I corrected. I made a promise to myself to start calling people on their rudeness from now on.
“I don’t know you very well.” What I could see of his expression looked grim and contrite, his attention back on his hat.
“No. You don’t.” I crossed my arms again, feeling oddly lost, and more hurt than I should have.
“Maybe this is wrong of me, seeing as how you’ve been engaged to the man for going on four years. I don’t want to push, but—” He lifted his eyes to mine, they were imploring. “Raquel, you deserve so much better than someone who cheats on you.”
I mashed my lips together while my brain sorted through all the pros and cons of admitting the truth to Deputy James.
Why tell him the truth? Because he thinks you’re pathetic.
Why does it matter what he thinks? I don’t know, but it does. It matters.
He wasn’t finished. “We spent just a couple of hours together, years ago, and even I—a country nobody from nowhere—knew you were something special. And not ’cause you’re famous or beautiful or talented. I suspected—I suspect—those things are the least of who you are.”
“Oh yeah? Who am I then?” I said on a dull laugh so my voice wouldn’t waver. He’d touched a nerve, one that left me cold. I didn’t know who I was. I had no idea who I was. So how could he possibly know?
But he answered using his authoritative tone. “You’re funny. Sweet. Generous. Clever. Smart. You’re good. You’re a good person.” He huffed a laugh, adding under his breath so I almost didn’t hear it, “You’re sunshine and rainbows.”
But one of his adjectives in particular stuck out like jean shorts in a costume drama. “Smart? Yeah right.” I couldn’t ebb the flow of bitterness. Smart wasn’t a word often used to describe me—by me or others.
“Yes. Absolutely. Yes.” He nodded adamantly. “Who thinks of something like Vegas Chess off the cuff? I know you made that up, right on the spot. And you’re witty—which I guess is what clever and funny are when they get a chance to hang out. But it was your—your sweetness that got to me most.”
He paused, frowning, looking frustrated and anxious. “You’re still sweet. And I know I don’t have any right to say so, but you deserve better than Harrison Copeland. So much better. You deserve—”
“What?” I couldn’t bear to look at him.
“Everything,” he said, the word a scrape of gravel and sand.
My frown turned upside down as his words gradually fell over me, warming my earlier frigidity. But also, my eyes stung. I had to sniff and firm my chin to keep the tears from falling. What was this? Was I sad? Did his words make me sad? I had no idea. I was all mixed up.
I felt his gaze on me as he spoke. “I’m not—this isn’t about me, okay? I know we had that one night and only that one night. Fine. But Raquel—”
“Call me Rae,” I said, blinking rapidly and wiping the back of my hand under my nose.
He snapped his mouth shut and frowned, like my request had interrupted his train of thought. “Uh, okay. Is Rae your name?”
“It is. It’s—” I needed to swallow around the emotion at the base of my throat before I could continue “—it’s what my friends call me.”
“Rae.”
I nodded quickly, peeking at him.
“Suits you.” I watched his lips curve into a coaxing smile, the warmth returning to his gaze.
“Thank you,” I managed, acutely breathless.
“Only name that would suit you better is Sunny.”
I laughed, rolling my eyes. “Not Rainbow?”
“Good point. You are colorful.”
“Well, I think your name suits you too.” I laughed again, then added in a quieter tone that might’ve verged on shy, “I’ve always thought so.”
We locked eyes for another moment, my earlier cold and dull unsteadiness transforming into something else, something hot and sharp and equally unsteady.
He doesn’t have a girlfriend, Rae. He’s single, Rae. You’re here for another twenty-four hours, Rae.
“Well.” He pulled his gaze from mine and gave his head a little shake. “I’ve said my piece. I am sorry if I upset you.”
I noticed the beading of sweat at his temples. It was hot in here, stifling.
“You . . .” I was about to say You didn’t upset me, but that wasn’t true. He’d upset everything. I’d made peace with him being unobtainable, happy with someone else.
If possible, I wanted him more now than I had before. Parts of me ached, imagining what it would be like to watch him strip off that sexy uniform and—
Whoa. Wait.
Even though he was single, he’d just split from his girlfriend. He probably needed time before jumping into bed with me, or anyone.
Orrrrrr—and just think about it, no need to make any rash decisions—maybe now is the perfect time for him to jump into bed with you. You’re leaving tomorrow. You could be his rebound one-night stand. No strings. Again.
He seemed to be waiting for me to finish my thought. But competing desires made it impossible for me to make the words and say the thing. And how would I even bring it up? How would I ask?
Just . . . ask.
I nibbled my bottom lip, uncertain.
It can’t be that easy.
His gaze dropped to my mouth, grew dazed.
Try it. What do you have to lose?
“Rae, the reason—”
“Will you spend the night with me?”
Chapter 10
*Raquel*
“It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.”