Debating this, I lifted the umbrella such that he could fit under it and we could walk together.
He shook his head. “No, thank you. No need. Please.” He gestured toward the car, careful not to touch me.
I nodded, licking my lips as soon as I turned and stepped off the curb. How long would I taste him there? My chin wobbled because this felt so wrong. Just like that night, when I’d left him asleep in the bed, that had felt wrong for days and days after.
But what was the answer? Stay in Green Valley like Sienna and see if things worked out with my dreamy deputy? Move here and give up on my life in LA? Sienna was the exception to every rule. She’d maintained her success, her status.
We made it to the Mustang, and I stood at the driver’s side as Jackson walked around to the passenger door. He opened it. I watched as he retrieved his hat, and I reflected on how much different my path had been from Sienna’s. I hadn’t written screenplays for my movies. I hadn’t won an Oscar. I’d lost out on roles in the last year because I was now twenty-eight instead of twenty-one; and I’d lost the only role I’d been excited about in years to a more serious, acclaimed, respected actress; and I continued to be typecast.
If I left LA, I’d probably fall out of the A-list in no time. My career would suffer . . . but would that be so bad?
I shook my head, not liking that I was actually considering this to be with a man. Even if things did somehow miraculously work out with Jackson and me, what next? Sienna’s husband was a stay-at-home dad with a big family living locally. He gave up his own career to support hers, raised their kids, flew to her filming locations, followed her around the world just so they could be together.
How many men would do that for their wives? My dad wouldn’t, and hadn’t. He’d wanted to marry my mother, but he’d also wanted her to drop out of her PhD program and support his career.
“How much longer are you in town?”
I blinked, finding Jackson had walked around to the driver’s side and currently stood directly in front of me, but not under the umbrella. He squinted against the rain, his eyes on me.
I took a deep, bracing breath. “Until tomorrow.”
“Of course.” He chuckled, the sound without humor. “Of course you are.”
“Jackson—”
“No. It’s okay.” He nodded, taking a step back. “It’s for the best.”
I caught his arm before he was too far away, gripping his wet sleeve and pulling him under the umbrella. “Why?” I asked, searching his face. “Why is it for the best?” I didn’t feel like it was for the best. How could he kiss me like that and then say, It’s for the best?
“Because.” He wiped off his face and then placed his hat on his head, not that it did any good. He and his hat were completely soaked.
“Because why?” I pushed. I couldn’t be the only one who was having crazy thoughts, could I? Would he ever consider something real between us? Something that lasted longer than one night?
“Because it’s impossible,” he said, his voice deep with calm resignation, which also echoed in his gaze. He lifted his hand to my face, his thumb whispering against my cheekbone, slowly trailing down to my bottom lip and dipping just the tip inside my mouth, his eyes following the progress as though fascinated and completely transfixed.
I wanted to speak, offer to stay, but instead I caught his thumb with my teeth and gave it a little bite.
His grin dawned softly, those bedroom eyes returning to mine and twinkling, full of wistfulness and longing. Or maybe that was me.
Jackson’s parting words were nearly lost in the sound of thunder and rain as he backed away. “It isn’t meant to be, Rae.” He smiled wider, adding, “But it sure was fun.”
Chapter 11
*Raquel*
“I was in Asia and people asked me about being considered sex symbol. I don’t know if that’s good or not, because where I come from, sex isn’t something you’re allowed to talk about.”
Bai Ling
A sound I couldn’t fully incorporate into my sex dream (about Jackson) woke me up. Someone was knocking on the front door.
No. Wait.
Someone was pounding on the front door. Groaning, because the dream had just been getting to the good part, I rubbed my eyes and squinted at the clock on the nightstand. 6:17 AM. Other than the one time I’d been invited over for family dinner, no one had knocked on the door to the carriage house.
“I’m coming!” I called, searching the room for the bathrobe Sienna had loaned me. It wasn’t dark, the sun had risen already, but since today would be my last in Green Valley, I’d planned to sleep in. There would be no sleeping in once I returned to LA. My trainer typically had me up at 5:30 AM every morning for my first workout.
I’d continued working out here, just at less sadistic times of the day.
“Rae! It’s Sienna. I’m so, so sorry to wake you up so early. But this is important!” I heard her shout, spurring me to move faster.
“Is everything okay?” Forgetting the bathrobe, I jogged to the door and swung it open wide, finding Sienna fully dressed, a cup of coffee in one hand and her phone in the other.
She lifted up the cup of coffee. “This is for you.”
“Uh, okay. Thank you.” I accepted the mug.
“You might want to take a drink before I show you my phone.”
“Why? What’s wrong with your phone?”
Her expression was pained. “Just drink. Please.”
“Did something happen?”
She put her fingers on the bottom of the mug I held and encouraged me to lift it to my lips. Huffing, I complied, prepared to take just a sip. But the coffee wasn’t too hot and tasted wonderful, so I drank a gulp instead.
“Happy now?”
“No. Because now I have to show you this.” Sienna stepped inside and next to me, holding the screen of her phone up so we could both see it, and pressed the play button over a paused video.
And. I. Gasped.
“Oh my Gooooood!” I bent closer, gripping her hand holding the phone. “How—where—how—”
“ATM machines have video cameras, Rae. It’s everywhere, and I do mean everywhere. It was posted last night on EMZ. Even the big papers’ gossip sections picked it up.”
I watched in a mixture of horror and fascination as the video footage of Jackson’s excessively thorough goodbye kiss played on the screen. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.
Also, and I know this helps nothing, Rae, but you two look really hot together.
Ugh. I just couldn’t with my inner dialogue right now.
“I’m so sorry, but I had to wake you up.” She handed the phone over to me and stepped fully inside, closing the door behind her. “This is bad.”
Tearing my eyes away from the video, I gaped at her. “Bad?”
“Yes. Bad.”
I looked at the screen again. The video had no sound, but I knew this was the part of the kiss where I’d whimpered because he’d started to pull away. “It’s not a great copy, I admit. The video quality could be better, but—”
“Not the video quality, Rae! I’m talking about Jackson.” She paced away.