Shane still thought… there was a chance for us?
I could see it in his eyes. The disappointment, some regret, and most of all, I saw weakness there.
No. Not surprised at all that he’s not here. Checked out of his hotel. Left his daughter behind.
“He’s definitely using again,” I say softly, yet it’s a commanding statement to my sister. I know Shane. I know what I’m talking about.
Tapping my phone against my chin thoughtfully, I turn to look at Felicity.
Still watching out the window for her dad.
I dread doing it, but I need to break the news to her that he’s not coming.
But first, I need to text Jett and let him know our plans tonight aren’t going to happen. I’m going to have one very sad little girl on my hands.
♦
“Can we just go home?” Felicity whines, tipping her head back dramatically. Her gaze skips right past me and to the gym ceiling which is nothing but shadows punctuated by sparkling lights from the disco ball in the center.
I talked her into letting me bring her to this dance even though she was adamantly opposed to it from the first suggestion. This came on the heels of me telling her that her father wasn’t coming and then trying to come up with some vague reason why. The best I could come up with was that “something must have come up” and I was sure that he would contact us later.
She burst into tears and I held her on the couch while she lamented that her father didn’t love her anymore. Her memories of our past with Shane may not be clear, but she remembers what abandonment feels like. She used to cry for him two years ago, saying he didn’t love her because he wasn’t around.
Jenna and I spent a long time comforting her, reassuring her, and then finally I told her we needed to go to the dance anyway. She had friends there and she had been excited to see them all with their pretty dresses. That made her a little interested in my idea, and I finally got her agreement. Before she could change her mind, I jetted off to my room to change. I opted for a black suit with palazzo-styled pants and a cropped jacket with large buttons up the front. I wasn’t necessarily trying for a masculine “daddy” type of look, but I certainly wasn’t going to wear a dress when I wanted Felicity and her dress to shine.
We’ve only been here at the school’s gym for fifteen minutes and she’s already dissatisfied with the arrangement. I’m the only mom here and that doesn’t make her unique, it makes her weird. When we arrived, she was asked by her friends where her daddy was, and she mumbled something about him being sick and her mom came.
It broke my heart, not because I felt she was ashamed of me—I’m confident in Felicity’s love for me. But that she was so crushed by Shane’s failure not only broke my heart but enraged me beyond belief. While I’ve tried to focus on Felicity and I want her to have fun at this dance, all I can do is think about getting on the phone with my attorney tomorrow and cutting off all of Shane’s rights. I can’t watch her go through the ups and downs with him as he battles his addiction.
I just can’t.
“Mummy, please,” Felicity says and this time it’s not a whine. Her expression is somber. “I want to go home.”
“Why, honey?” I ask, reaching out the brush a lock of hair back. “Your friends were all so happy you came, and they’re over there waving to you to dance with them.”
The first thing I figured out is that at a daddy/daughter dance, it’s mostly the girls just dancing together to fun songs. Once in a while, they’ll put a slow song on for the dads to let their little girls climb on their feet, but it’s a big social playdate for the daughters.
Felicity looks over her shoulder at her friends, and true enough, two of them wave her to come over. Her lips don’t even twitch a smile back and she brings her gaze back to me. “I don’t want to stay. It’s weird I don’t have a dad here.”
“It’s been just you and me for a few years, kiddo,” I point out as I adjust my pant legs near my hips to squat down so I’m eye to eye with her. “You’ve never minded having your mum instead of a dad at your events.”
I get a dramatic sigh in return. “I know,” she drawls as if I don’t understand a damn thing. “But this is an event for dads and daughters. You know, boys dancing with girls.”
I can’t help but smile at her seven-year-old thinking, because lots of boys dance with boys and lots of girls dance with girls. And she knows this, because her great Uncle Jonas—my dad’s brother—is gay and has been with his partner for over twenty-five years. She understands that love is love.
But I get what she’s saying.
“Mummy… the other girls have their daddies here and they’re all handsome and dressed up. Just like Prince Charming. I’m sorry, but you’re just not the same.”
I turn my hand and cup her jaw from underneath, leaning in to whisper. “I know, and I truly understand. Some things you just need a dad for, huh?”
She nods, her eyes getting a little wet with tears that I finally get it. There are just some things I can’t fulfill, and while that stings, I also understand it.
I straighten, my wide pant legs dropping down around my heels. Holding my hand out to her, I say, “Let’s go home. We’ll stop for ice cream on the way, okay?”
For the first time since I had to break the bad news that her daddy wasn’t coming, Felicity smiles. She nods and presses her palm against mine.
We turn toward the doors that lead into a small lobby, and, beyond that the parking lot. I take no more than one step and I’m grinding to a dead halt.
Because coming through those same doors is Jett.
My eyes roam over him in disbelief. He’s wearing a dark gray charcoal suit, so well fit that I know it’s custom-tailored. I happen to know his closet has several in different shades of black, gray, dark blue, pinstripe, and even a dark taupe. He’s freshly shaven and in his hand is a big bouquet of flowers.
Felicity doesn’t see him at first as she’s actually looking over her shoulder and waving farewell to her friends. But when I come to a stop, forcing her to do the same, she turns and sees Jett.
“Mummy… look,” she says in awe. “I wonder what Jett is doing here.”
I know what he’s doing here.
That big, beautiful man got dressed up, left the relaxing comfort of his condo on a rare night off, and is stepping into Shane’s shoes so Felicity has an amazing experience. He must have done this upon getting my text canceling the evening with him.
I had been short and to the point. Shane didn’t show up. I’m going to take her to the dance so I can’t come over tonight.
I didn’t have to go into any type of detail. Jett knew my feelings about Shane and how I lived every day waiting for him to fall off the wagon. He had no need for me to point out how devastated Felicity was. He’s seen firsthand how excited she’s been since he returned to her life. Jett has even helped to foster that with her.
And I know he understood when he merely replied, Go be that awesome mom I know you to be. You and I have all the time in the world. Felicity is more important.
His text had touched me deeply. He put no pressure on me to cater to him. He made sure I knew that he knew where my priority would always be. And he reassured me that he would be there many times over after this night.