When we step inside, an aul’ doll hobbles out from the elegant dining room, hands filled with cutlery. “Sorry, we’re—”
She soon stops when she sees Babydoll.
“Camilla.” She smiles broadly, her happiness clear. “Grand to see ye again. Yer needin’ a room?”
Babydoll nods. “Hi, Aine. I’m sorry I didn’t call and make a reservation. I understand if you’re booked out.”
“Hush, chile,” Aine says, shaking her head. “I told ye, yer always welcome here. Come.”
Aine places the cutlery onto a table before leading us through the home. She takes the stairs, our footsteps echoing on the wooden staircase. We walk down the hallway where Aine leads us to the door at the end.
She opens the door, and when I peer inside, the sadness I felt earlier returns. This isn’t a bedroom, but rather a small studio space fitted with a double bed, a small dresser, and a red leather recliner. The floor isn’t carpeted, and one would be forgiven for thinking this was used for storage because it’s hardly decked out with the luxuries one would expect to find in a bed and breakfast.
“I’ll leave ya fresh towels and linens in the bathroom. Call out if ye need me. If yer hungry, there are some sandwiches in the kitchen.”
Aine doesn’t acknowledge me, which has me guessing she knows I’m the reason Babydoll stayed in less than comfortable conditions for years. She closes the door, sealing us in.
The single bulb barely emits any light, and I think of Babydoll cooped up in here, endless nights alone, straining her eyes as she scanned over paperwork to help set me free. She didn’t want to stay anywhere lavish as I know she felt undeserving.
She wanted to suffer, knowing I was too.
“How’d ye know he was comin’ for you?”
Babydoll’s back is turned to me, but I don’t need to look at her to know she is hurting.
“When someone came to pick up Hannah and Ethan, I took a wild guess Sean was behind it. I suspected something like this would happen eventually. I went to Aoife’s, knowing the consequences. So why did you send Eva?”
I knew she would be mad at me.
“I needed to get ye out of there. It’s too dangerous.”
“And it’s not for my sister?”
Finally, she turns around, locking eyes with me. I’m unsure how we got here, to this place where it’s hard to breathe. “Of course, it is. But I’ve come to learn, I can’t command the actions of anyone. I tried that, and people died.”
She flinches. “Do you know how it felt, leaving her behind? Her taking my place and putting her life in danger for me?”
“Aye, I do,” I reply solemnly. “That’s what youse have done for me. That’s what you’ve done for me, time and time again. I didn’t want youse a part of this, but yer the one who told me ye wanted yer revenge too. I’m tryin’, Cami. I’m really fucking tryin’.”
My desperation bursts from me because I don’t know what she wants me to say anymore.
“Trying what?” she questions, arms folded.
“I’m tryin’ to do right by everyone! I’m tryin’ not to be the bad guy. I’m tryin’ to be the man my ma and Connor would be proud of. And I’m tryin’ to be a man who is worthy of yer love!”
She pales, taken aback by my outburst. But I can’t help it. I feel like I’m losing myself—piece by piece.
“When I didn’t know where ye were,” I confess, begging she believes me. “When I didn’t know if you were dead or alive…I wanted to fucking end it. I wanted to give up. It was the first time in my life that I ever felt helpless…and that’s what you make me—I am helpless without you.
“You own me, Camilla. I am nothin’ without ye. I know everythin’ is fucked up. I know you probably wish ye’d never met me. If I could change that, I would. I want ya to live a normal life—away from this. Away from me.
“I am so fucking sorry this has happened. I wish I could change it, but I can’t, and I don’t know how to fix it.”
I’ve never felt more helpless in my entire life.
“I don’t think it can ever be fixed,” she says, wrapping her arms around herself.
My heart sinks because I don’t know what she means. But what I do know is that I can’t let her go without a fight. So much has happened, and this was bound to take a turn sooner or later.
I got out of prison. She was engaged, then she wasn’t. She thought we were kin, only to find out that we weren’t. I killed her father and her fiancé. She was kidnapped, held captive by the woman I fucked, and set free by my son.
We were running on fumes, but now, with the end almost in sight, we need to get this all out in the open because it’s the only hope we have at surviving this.
She sighs, defeated. But I won’t give up—not when she never gave up on me.
I storm toward her, her wide eyes confirming she can’t read me either. But when I drop to my knees before her in surrender, there is no mistaking my feelings.
“Please forgive me for everythin’ I’ve done. I should have told you we weren’t kin. I shouldn’t have tried to save you because ye can save yerself. I’m sorry for killin’ yer dad. I’m sorry for killin’ Rory.”
It’s the first time I’ve apologized for Rory’s death, and it’s because it’s the first time I’ve meant it.
“If given the choice again…I would choose differently. But I’ll live with that guilt for the rest of my life,” I confess, watching as tears trickle down her cheek. “I’m sorry for every single time I made you cry. I am just so fucking sorry.
“I have no right to ask for yer forgiveness, but I need it. I need you.”
A sob escapes her, which she mutes behind her hand.
“I love you, Babydoll. I always have. And I need you to love me back. I cannot survive this if ya don’t. I know that’s not what most would say, but I’m not most. I can’t give ya a choice because I need you…so fucking much.
“I know I sound like a buck eejit. A desperate man who is beggin’ for yer love, and that’s ’cause I am. This started with revenge, but I want to end it with love—our love. It’s why I’m givin’ this all away. I just…I just want to grow aul’ with you.”
I can’t stop the words that spill from me. I want Babydoll to know that she makes me vulnerable, and I’m okay with that.
She doesn’t speak. She simply drops to her knees too.
This moment is unguarded—just Babydoll and me against the world. We’re beaten and bruised, a sure sign we were stronger than whatever tried to beat us, but together, we are unstoppable.
“I love you too.”
Those four words are a salve to my soul.
“Everything is just so fucked,” she confesses, her lower lip trembling. “And I am so afraid. What if we don’t win? What if this has been for nothing?”
“This”—with apprehension, I reach for her hand and press it over my heart—“this will never be for nothin’. This is everything.”
Tears continue to fall down her cheeks, and I don’t wipe them away. Each one carries her pain.