Kenny gently cradled my cheek and sighed. “I wish things were different.”
“What do you mean? Why?”
“I really like you, Drew…”
My head spun, my heart jumped, and my stomach did somersaults as I waited for her to continue.
“This week has been amazing. You have been amazing. And as much as I want to see where things could go, or discover what we have together, our commitments and obligations won’t allow us. I don’t want you to think that I’m not interested, because I am. I’m also realistic, and I knew that this wouldn’t last. It couldn’t last.”
I pressed my lips to her forehead and held the careful kiss for a moment. “I understand, Kenny. As much as I don’t want to admit it, you’re right. But can you do me one favor? If things change at home, could you at least consider coming back? There’s no telling when that’ll be or where we will even be in our lives, so I’m not expecting anything. I just want to know that, if given the chance, you would contemplate another vacation at Black Bird Resort.”
She nestled her face in my neck and gently wrapped her arms around my waist. “I can promise you that, Drew. In fact, you didn’t even need to ask.”
The strangest feeling came over me. At the exact moment I should’ve been experiencing dread, I was filled with burning hope. A sense of faraway happiness, as if somewhere in my future, everything worked out as it was meant to. It was calming and probably the only thing that could’ve kept me from losing my mind in that moment.
I didn’t want to let her go, but I had to.
And I had to hold onto the hope and faith that this wasn’t the end of our story.
There was still so much left to write.
Chapter Nineteen
Kenny
My mom slowly opened my bedroom door, startling me out of my inner thoughts. “What are you doing? I’ve been calling your name; did you not hear me?”
I glanced down to the brand-new journal in my lap, not having a clue how long I’d been staring at the blank page as if waiting for the words to magically write themselves. “I’m sorry, Mom. No, I didn’t hear you.”
“Is everything okay?”
I closed the journal and moved over to make room on my bed for my mom to sit. “Yeah, I’m fine. What’s up?”
She cocked her head and raised her brows, silently telling me that she didn’t believe a word I said. Her stare penetrated me until I began to question my own sanity, wondering if maybe there really was something wrong with me, and I just didn’t know it.
“I’m not buying it, McKenna. You’ve been home for almost a week, and you’ve spent the majority of that time holed up in your room. Alone. You’re quiet, which is unlike you. Getting you to participate in even the smallest conversation is like pulling teeth.” Concern laced her voice, and it filled me with guilt—for what, I wasn’t sure.
“I’m just tired. I had a long week, followed by an extremely long drive, and I’m trying to readjust to my regular schedule. It’s like my brain refuses to exit vacation mode.” I added a quick laugh to help prove that she had nothing to worry about.
“There has to be more that you’re just not telling me. And that’s what really bothers me, because I can’t imagine anything you couldn’t come to me with. Good or bad. Did something happen with that boy?”
Based on her tone, I assumed she meant something bad, so I quickly shook my head to reject that suggestion. “Not at all. I mean, good stuff, but nothing that I couldn’t talk to you about. In fact, I’ve told you everything already.”
Not everything.
And not that I couldn’t, because I could. I just chose not to.
“I won’t lie…I’ve caught myself thinking about him a lot, so maybe that’s it. Maybe you’re misinterpreting my daydreaming as something else. But I swear that’s all it is, Mom. My head seems to perpetually be in the clouds lately, and I don’t know how to stop it.” I held up the journal as proof. “If it makes you feel any better, I can’t even put my thoughts on paper.”
“When did you get that?”
I stared at the picture on the front. It was of a brass steeple standing tall from the depths of calm waters. I’d stopped for gas a few miles from the resort, and when I went inside to pay, I saw it next to the register. It was the only one, as if it had been waiting there specifically for me, so I bought it. “On my way home from the resort. This is a picture of the lake. Isn’t it beautiful?”
She nodded slowly, likely to buy time while she organized her thoughts enough to come up with another question. Which was proven when she said, “I didn’t know you wrote in a diary.”
“I don’t, but after reading the one we found in Grandpa’s attic—and after my trip—I thought I’d give it a try. But I don’t think it’s my thing. I can’t seem to write anything. I just stare at the pages and daydream, never writing a single word.”
“How many times have you tried?”
I nibbled on the inside of my cheek while counting in my head. “I’ve been home for five days, so…five times.”
Her eyes widened with shock I hadn’t expected. “Well, you said he gave you his number. Have you tried to call?”
“No. What’s the point?”
“Gee, I don’t know, McKenna…to talk to him?”
I rolled my eyes, though I couldn’t keep the smile from my lips. “I know, but for what? It’s not like we can date or anything, so I guess I don’t see the point in making it harder on either of us. All that would do is drag it out, and we both have so much on our plates as it is.”
She shifted on the mattress to get more comfortable with her feet beneath her, mirroring the way I sat. “It won’t hurt to have another friend…unless, of course, there are deeper feelings between you two that can’t be ignored and won’t fade over time.”
“I literally just met the guy, Mom. How am I supposed to know?”
“Your grandmother told me once that when you meet people who are destined to be in your life—in whatever capacity—you just know. She said it’s a feeling that doesn’t make sense, while at the same time, making perfect sense.”
I ignored the tightness in my chest at the memory of feeling that exact way with Drew and, instead, asked, “How is that even possible?”
She shrugged, though her eyes were gentle and comforting. “To be honest, McKenna, I have no idea. The only time in my entire life that I’ve ever felt anything close to that would be the night you were born.”
“You met someone at the hospital?” That was surprising, considering a lot had happened that night. Not only did she have a baby, but she also lost her mother. I couldn’t imagine finding my soulmate in that type of situation.
Mom laughed and shook her head. “No, silly. I meant when I held you for the first time.”
Well, that made more sense.
“So you’ve never felt that way about anyone else? Like a guy? Not even my dad?”
“I thought I did, but as soon as you were born, I realized just how wrong I was.”