He put his hands on his hips. “I was a little pissed that you sent me this letter instead of telling me. You knew yesterday when we talked. Why didn’t you tell me?”
She tucked her short hair behind her ear. Another reminder that he’d fucked up. Until she grew the length back, he was going to be forever reminded of what he’d done wrong with her.
“I didn’t know how you’d react. I was scared that you’d be angry or that you might ask me to get rid of it.” She put her hand protectively over her stomach. “I love our child already. I don’t want to—”
“No,” he said. “I would never ask you to get rid of our child. I want to be part of their world. Boy or girl.”
“I don’t want us to get back together,” she said.
He nodded. “Fine.”
“I know this is going to be hard.”
He shook his head. “It doesn’t have to be. One day, Ava, you will realize how sorry I am. How much I love you.”
“No, don’t say stuff like that. I don’t want you to say that.”
“It’s true.”
Tears fell down her cheeks. He wanted to take her into his arms and promise her it was going to be okay.
She shook her head and looked up toward the ceiling. “I don’t want to cry anymore. After everything that has happened, you can’t tell me you love me. With what happened, it’s not that easy.”
“I know.” He tried to speak gently with her. From now on, he would never raise his voice, never speak harshly to her. The club would come first, but she would take priority. “I don’t expect you to trust me. I will earn it back.” He looked down at the picture again. “Please, let me be involved. I want to get to know my kid. I’d love to share this experience with you.”
She smiled. “Okay. I have another ultrasound in a couple of weeks. This one will determine how far along I actually am, and when they believe I’ll be giving birth. You’re invited to come.”
“Can I take you?” he asked.
She shook her head. “No, I think it best I meet you at the hospital. The appointment’s at ten o’clock.”
“I’ll be there. Can I … can I touch you?” He looked at her stomach.
“There’s not a lot to feel, but if you want to, then yes.” She stayed perfectly still and he closed the distance between them.
Slowly, he cupped her stomach, staring into her eyes. There was a slight swelling.
“Can you feel it?” he asked. “The baby?”
“I don’t know. Sometimes I think so. I don’t know if it’s too soon for a baby to be felt.” She laughed. “It’s kind of surreal, you know? All of this. I’ve wanted a baby for so long.”
“You have?”
“Yeah. Derek didn’t want one.”
“Your ex is an asshole. You’re going to make an amazing mother.”
“I hope so.” She laughed.
She looked at him, and the last few months evaporated. He stared into her eyes, and she had the same expression on her face. Full of love, hope. He wanted it. Craved it. How had he taken this for granted before?
Ava looked away first. The mood was broken.
“If there’s ever anything you need, call me, okay? I will be here. I want to offer you protection as well.”
“It’s fine, Smokey. I’ve got it handled. A lot of women handle pregnancy without a man or a woman around. I can handle it.”
“I don’t want you to.”
“It’s not your choice.” She pulled away. “I need to get back to work.”
“I do love you, Ava. I will make you realize I’m not just saying it.”
“I think it’s time you go.”
Chapter Fifteen
The bakery started out slowly when she finally reopened. At first, people just walked on by the shop, until it was like they eventually realized she was officially reopened. The moment they did, people came in and out. The atmosphere wasn’t the same as before. When she first opened, people talked and welcomed her to town, offered to help or gave her hints and tips of the kind of customers she’d like. Who to stay away from.
This was different but at least it was business.
By lunchtime, she was exhausted and nearly sold out. She did make sure she had a backup supply of cookies and muffins.
No one had responded to her ad for a bakery assistant she’d placed in the paper and in several shops. She hoped someone would respond locally, otherwise, she’d have to look further out.
When Raven, Brick, and Kinky entered her shop, she tensed up. No one else was inside and she folded her arms. “I need to ask you to leave.” She wouldn’t look at them.
“We’re not here to cause trouble.”
“I’ve very politely put up a sign asking that no member of the MC comes inside my shop. I’d appreciate it if you leave.” She’d written out the sign and hated herself for doing it. The memory of how they’d entered, the attack, being dragged to the club’s basement… It had been too much.
She wasn’t a strong woman and had no way of fighting them off. They were the ones with all the control.
“We heard about the baby,” Raven said. “We wanted to offer you congratulations and our sincerest apologies.”
Ava looked up. “I don’t accept them. You can’t get away with doing what you want when you want to. Not with me. I was your friend, and that was how you treated me. I’ve got nothing more to say to you. Now, if you want to have baked goods, then send someone else in. I don’t want any of you, nor Smokey, in my shop. Ever again.”
Her hands clenched into tight fists.
Raven nodded. “We understand.”
They each left the shop, and once they had, she breathed a little easier. Was it easy? Her heart raced, and she rushed to the shop door, flicking the lock into place and turning the sign to say she was closed.
She immediately went to her office, closing the door, dropping down into her chair, covering her face with her hands, and sobbing. The tears fell hard and fast. Uncontrollably. Each time she thought she was getting a little better, something would happen to make her realize she wasn’t getting anywhere.
Staying in Fort Clover was going to be hard enough. Seeing them every day. Allowing her child to go to the clubhouse. She needed to be able to be around them again. Until then, she was going to have to be strong.
She grabbed some tissues, wiping her nose and taking some fresh ones for her eyes. She composed herself before heading back out.
Opening the shop up once again, she waited for customers to come in. By three o’clock, she was sold out and about to close shop when a dark brunette rushed inside, knocking her over.
“Crap, shit, crap, I’m so sorry,” she said. “I know you don’t stay open too late because let’s face it, your baked goods are the bomb, but I didn’t mean to run you over like that.”
Ava chuckled. The woman helped her up. She vaguely recognized her but didn’t know her name.
“It’s quite all right. I was about to close up. I don’t have anything to offer you.”
“Oh, that’s okay. I’m vegan. I don’t eat anything with animal products in.”