Drew is already waiting on her in the room when I lock the bed in place. They managed to extubate her in the PACU, a reassuring sign that means she’s breathing on her own without the help of the ventilator, but she still hasn’t opened her eyes.
He stares at her, taking her hand as I make sure all her lines are straight and running the way they should. “Vanessa is her nurse.”
Drew nods. He must have requested her. She has been here the longest. Has the most experience.
“The good news is Julien is down the hall, so if we distract the nurses, we can give him a bolus of potassium chloride and kill him. No one will ever suspect it was us.”
Drew cracks a smile. He has a twisted sense of humor, same as me and Margot. “Too easy for him.”
“Huh. Possibly. Maybe I should take a poll? The waiting room is filled with doctors and nurses.”
“Thank you for going in with her when I couldn’t.”
I kiss Margot on the forehead then do the same with Drew. “You’re not in this alone. We’re here for both of you for anything. We’re her family.”
He squeezes my hand and I leave him alone with her, exiting the ICU after being stopped no less than a dozen times. My limbs are heavy as I find my way down the hall to the small, packed ICU waiting room that has seen better days. I think it’s time for an upgrade. In fact, I’m going to make sure it gets one.
What good is having money if I can’t use it on the things I want to make better? The hundred million is already gone. Dispersed to the charities I chose through the foundation. It was so clean and simple it felt almost like it was too good to be true. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it never did. Harrison, for better or worse, just helped a lot of people.
Better still, I haven’t heard from his father since that phone call. With any luck, I never will again.
I drop into the seat beside Aria, my head falling back and my eyes closing. “She’s in her room with Drew,” I announce to everyone. “She’s extubated, but not awake.”
“We know,” Aria says. “Wes came and told us.”
“Right,” I reply, yawning. “Wes. Good guy, that one. Hell of a surgeon.”
“Brecken and Jonah left to go get everyone breakfast,” Halle says. “Men aren’t all that adept at sitting around and waiting. They do better with a task.”
“As long as they come back with coffee, I don’t care what they do.”
“Same,” Aria agrees through the yawn she caught from me. “Coffee.”
“What’s that smell?”
I grin, my eyes too heavy to open. “It’s me, Josh. Wanna come closer and get a better whiff?”
“Um. No. You smell like a cowboy after slaughtering a cow.”
“Bad analogy right now, my friend. Bad fucking analogy.”
“Yeah, that was a bad one,” he says. “But for real, there must be a shower with your name on it. And clean clothes. You smell like sweat, disinfectant, and blood.”
I growl and then groan. I know I do, but I don’t think I can move, let alone muster the energy to actually shower. More importantly, I don’t want to leave until Margot wakes up, because she will wake up, dammit.
“I think I left my clothes in a scattered heap in the scrub room.”
“Here.” I hear Halle fishing through something that is likely her purse before she dumps enough products onto my lap to force me to sit up and take in the bounty. “Deodorant, rose hibiscus face mist, a hairbrush, and a wisp mini disposable toothbrush—those are life, you don’t even need water.”
“You carry all this with you?” I ask, glancing around the waiting room at Drew’s brothers who are all passed out on the couches and chairs in the corner and then lift my scrub top up to apply the deodorant. Then I get started on my hair, teeth, and spray that mist all the hell over myself.
“Yes. Always. How do you think Matt got away with slipping the hard drive into my purse without my knowing?”
“Good point.”
Matt, her ex who committed cybercrimes and hid the evidence on a flash drive inside Halle’s purse. It almost got both her and Jonah killed.
“I don’t know about you ladies, but I’m ready to be done with the drama for the rest of my life.”
No sooner are the words out of Aria’s mouth than Brecken and Jonah return, carrying trays of coffee and bags of food. Brecken’s eyes instantly seek out mine, holding on tight as he comes directly for me. My heart starts to pound wildly in my chest as he stops right before me, looking at me as if he wants to hug and kiss me while never letting me go.
“Hey,” he says, his voice strong but there is hesitation in there. “You okay?”
I lick my lips and give him a nod because I cannot speak. I have no clue what I’m going to do about this man. None.
“Good. I was worried. I brought you a coffee and a breakfast sandwich.”
“Why would you be worried?” Aria questions, her gaze flickering back and forth between the two of us. Brecken’s expression turns to stone.
“Here. Take these from me.” He doesn’t give Aria the option either way as he shoves one of the trays of coffee at her, lifting two out and handing one to me. “Those are all the same,” he tells her. “There is sugar, sweetener, and cream in the bag with the sandwiches and muffins.”
I glance down at my cup, realizing that unlike the others, it says my nickname on it. It says Angel and his says Brecken, but everyone else’s doesn’t have a label. He got me my coffee, knowing how I like it.
Jonah starts doling out food, a wrapped egg and cheese sandwich to each of us, but not once has Brecken removed his eyes from me. Not once. He’s still standing before me, eyes all over me. I can’t help but return the favor, his hair and clothes a disheveled mess like the rest of us, but he’s still gorgeous and perfect.
And tired.
I saw those purple stains beneath his eyes the other night and they’re still there. Worse now, as expected after the night we had, but I don’t think that’s why. And… has he lost weight?
I knew he was having trouble with work. A lot of trouble. He stopped talking about it with me. He never talked much about it to begin with, but he told me why he was sent here and that his boss is a total dick. But there’s a hell of a lot more to it than that.
Jesus, what has he been going through?
And alone because I never put in the effort with him that he put in with me. I should have been there for him the way he was for me. Regret clogs my throat, making it hard to swallow.
“Thank you,” I whisper, taking a sip of coffee, wanting to say more. Knowing I will, but not yet. Not here. Not now with Margot still fighting as she is. Yet, I can’t help but study him closer, half listening as Aria explains what Wes already announced that they evidently missed.
“You’re welcome.” There is a library of words written across his face, but like me, he keeps them to himself, taking a seat over by the windows, and away from me. “Where is Wes now?”
“Sleeping in the on-call room,” Aria tells him. “His shift doesn’t end for another twelve hours, and he’ll likely have more surgeries today.”
“Thank god he was here last night,” Josh whispers, his voice thick with emotion. “He saved my life. More than once actually and now he’s saved Margot. I think I want to be him when I grow up.”