It’s nice, being in Sebastian’s house. He has a candle burning and music playing low. I take a sip of my wine while I add all of the ingredients into a porcelain bowl I found.
Once everything is in place, I lean back on the counter and start to wonder where Sebastian ran off to, as I assume men can change out of work clothes pretty fast. I take a second to see if I hear a shower running, but there’s nothing.
Just when I’m about to start heading his way, I hear footsteps coming down the stairs, so I pick up the spoon to make it look like I was busy and not sitting here, thinking I should go search for him.
“Sorry that took so long. I, um …” He clears his throat. “You seem to have made yourself at home.”
“I know my way around a kitchen, so I was able to find all I needed.”
His eyes crinkle as he steps toward me, placing one hand on my hip and pulling me into him with his other splayed on my back.
“I’m really glad you’re here,” he breathes as he leans down to briefly kiss me.
His lips are warm, his hands firm, yet there’s a pause in his purpose. There’s something different about this kiss. Our last was pure lust and passion. This isn’t an invitation, like I felt before from him. It almost feels like a question.
If he has to wonder how I feel, then I’m not showing him enough. How we ended our date had nothing to do with alcohol or horniness. It was all him, and I want every inch of what he has to give me, as I plan to give him every inch of me.
I wrap my arms around his neck, bringing him closer to me. My chest is pressed up against his firm one. My fingers dance in his hair and work their way down the side of his neck and glide onto his pecs. I bounce on my toes, lightly lining my groin up with his, moving up and down ever so gracefully, so he knows exactly what I want from him tonight.
He kisses me long and hard, the kind of kiss that leaves me breathless.
Until, suddenly, he pulls away.
“We’re going to burn the soup,” he says.
I pause in question and then turn back to the stove, where my bisque is still on a low simmer. “Oh. Yeah. It’s okay. I don’t have it too high. But it’s probably ready. Can you grab some bowls?”
He walks over to a cabinet on the other side of the kitchen. His side profile is on display as he grabs the bowls. I look for that dimple, the one I’ve come to adore, but I haven’t seen it since I got here tonight.
“How was the rest of your day?” I ask, seeing if I can get a glimpse into his mood.
He said he got home late tonight. Maybe a horrible client has his mind distracted.
He fumbles with the bowls, nearly dropping one of them. “Almost had a chance to show off my juggling skills for you,” he jokes awkwardly.
I let out a heavy breath, feeling like something’s up. He smiles lightly, and it relaxes me a little.
“You know how to juggle?”
“I have a few party tricks up my sleeve.”
I smile and stir the soup, talking loudly as he walks into the dining room with the bowls, “Perhaps after dinner, you can show off a bit. I’ve never met a man who could juggle, aside from the performers near the carousel in the summer. Shawn loves to walk over and is just dying for the day they drop something. I keep saying he’s wasting his time, but I think the guy is just a giant kid who wants to watch the performers without admitting he likes them.”
I laugh at my own remark, and it trails off into silence. My long tirade goes without a response.
I set the spoon I’m stirring with down and walk into the dining room. Sebastian is standing near the table with his hands on the back of a chair. I watch as he takes a deep breath. His back is arched as his head faces down.
“Everything okay?” I ask, placing my hand on his arm.
He looks up, seeming surprised that I’m standing here. His face is drawn, and his eyes have lost a little of that sparkle. He stands up tall at the sight of me and gives a sad smile.
“Sorry. I have a lot on my mind,” he says, not in the sure tone he normally has.
I take a step away and stand near another chair. “If you had a shit day at the office, I don’t want to pry, but I hope you know I’m here if you need to vent.”
A small smile graces his lips as he takes a large breath in and then exhales deeply. I wait as he stares over into my eyes. He’s not just looking; he’s searching, seeking something from this connection we share, yet I’m not sure what he needs from me.
“Do you …” I point toward the front door. “Do you want me to go? It’s okay if—”
“I don’t want you to go.” He takes a step toward me and grabs my hand.
“Okay. Then, what’s going on?” I tilt my head to the side and place my hand on his cheek.
His jaw has a light stubble that is coarse under the pad of my thumb. I lean into him, making sure he knows I’m here if he needs to talk.
His chest rises and falls.
He drops his head.
He grips my hand tighter while his other weaves into my hair as he caresses my face.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve felt the kind of connection we have, especially this soon into a relationship. Last night, at dinner and then at the club”—he closes his eyes, tilting his head to the side, smiling before opening them back up and looking at me—“that was the best date I’d had in years.”
I return his grip, pulling him into me. “I feel the same way. In fact, I wanted to jump your bones last night. You’re the one who stopped it.” I try to lighten the mood.
He lets out a soft chuckle and stands up straight, glancing down at me so I can see his face. “I kicked myself the entire way home for doing that.”
“Is that what this sudden mood change is about? Do you think we’re moving too fast? Are you not used to these kinds of feelings?”
He closes his eyes and takes a deep inhale before opening them again. “Opposite really. This is what—you are what—I’ve always wanted in my life.”
There’s a pause, and I lean back, realizing I’m about to get a but thrown in my face. Every second that passes, my stomach knots even more, like it’s wringing out a towel and every last drop is being expelled with nothing else left to give.
“I got a call today,” he finally says as he drops my hands, making the words he just said sting even though I have no idea what they mean.
I step back, realizing there’s no reason for me to still be this close to him. “Is everything all right?”
He raises his eyebrows in a wishy-washy way as he takes an inhale. “Yes. No.” He shrugs. “It all depends.”
I place my hands on the table behind me, needing to do something with them. This feels like a very intense conversation, yet I barely know this guy. “Depends on what?”
“I got a call from my ex-girlfriend.”
My breath hitches. There’s only one reason why a man would let a woman know he got a call from an ex-girlfriend. At dinner, he made it seem like his last relationship had fizzled out. From the look on his face, there’s clearly unfinished business. She wants to get back together, and he’s willing.
As a woman who has already been cheated on, I’m not ready to hear the words he’s about to say.
He hesitates for a second before standing tall, lifting his chin, and declaring, “She’s pregnant.”