He was trying so hard to do right by me, for no reason other than he wanted to, even though he’d just met me. Like Cade had all those years ago, except even Cade had the motivation of knowing he’d be stuck with me for at least as long as our foster parents held on to both of us. Ryo could have easily shunned me like the rest of the students had.
Maybe he would still shun me if he knew the whole story. If he knew I’d been as much responsible for turning my brother into that monster as the school was. If he ever found out…
I didn’t want to think about that. As selfish as it might be, I let myself lean toward him, tipping my head against his shoulder. Just like that, his stance relaxed. He eased his arm around my back and rested his chin against my hair.
“I’m glad I know,” I said, “but I have no idea what to do about it. Every time I find out something new about this place, it just gets worse, and bigger, and crazier…”
“I’ve been here for years, and I haven’t seen any way out,” Ryo said. “You shouldn’t expect yourself to manage it. I don’t know how this all started or where the professors got their power, but they have a hell of a lot of it. That’s why I think you should go while you can. What good does it do staying here if all that accomplishes in the end is ruining your life too?”
“I can’t just walk away now that I know. Even if I leave, I’ll still be thinking about what’s happening here. I’ll still be trying to figure out a way to break you all out of this.”
“Or maybe you’ll forget like everyone else, finally,” Ryo said softly. “And get the peace you deserve.”
My stomach twisted. “What if I don’t deserve it?”
He eased back far enough to look me in the eyes. “Whatever you’ve done in your life, whatever mistakes you’ve made, there’s no way they’re that much worse than what the rest of us here have done. And you seem to think we deserve better. Why the hell wouldn’t you?”
Because they’d paid for it plenty and I hadn’t? Because I already knew the college had claimed at least one person unfairly? But the man in front of me was gazing at me with so much faith that I could let those protests slide, just for the moment.
There hadn’t been many people in my life who’d ever believed in me. Looking back at him, all I could feel was how much I needed that right now, here on the precipice of taking what would probably be the biggest risk of my life. How much I wanted to show him what it meant to me.
There was one simple way to do that, one that I’d enjoy just as much as he would. I raised my hand to his cheek and drew him in for a kiss.
He kissed me back in that eagerly tender way of his. I let my fingers trail up into his hair, tangling in the smooth strands. Ryo kissed me harder, his tongue teasing across the seam of my lips until they parted. It delved into my mouth, twining around my own tongue. A wave of giddy anticipation rolled through me.
Ryo tugged me closer to him, and I took the encouragement as an excuse to swivel around completely, straddling his lap. Our mouths only slipped apart for a second before we were kissing again with even more passion.
My hands roamed up under his shirt, and he took the cue to make his own explorations. The skillful fingers that had crafted the little metal flower stroked over my bra and urged my nipples to peaks as quivers of pleasure raced through my chest.
It wasn’t making love, but it was making me feel incredibly damn good, and that was the most I’d ever been able to ask for. Ryo had told me before that he didn’t expect any kind of commitment from me. It might be the last bit of pleasure I got to take in my life, so I’d better make the most of it.
I shifted on his lap, grinding against the bulge that had hardened behind the fly of his jeans. Ryo’s breath hitched. As I traced the firm muscles of his chest, he unhooked my bra with a flick of his fingers and dipped his hands beneath it. With just a few caresses, he brought a gasp to my lips. Then he tugged my shirt up and tore his mouth from mine to bring it to the peak of my breast.
I gripped his head as the heat of his mouth flooded me with bliss. He sucked my nipple hard and worked it over with his tongue and the tips of his teeth until I was moaning and squirming against him. Then he performed the same magic on the other side. I swayed against him, my fingertips skimming over his scalp, my sex aching where it brushed against his erection.
As he encouraged another jolt of pleasure from my breast, I eased my hand down between us to stroke his cock directly. In a matter of seconds, I’d unzipped him to remove the most obvious obstacle. His erection sprang free with a couple more tugs. I smiled through a sigh as I gripped the silkily stiff flesh.
Freeing myself took a little more effort. When Ryo raised his head to pepper kisses across my collarbone, I yanked at the zipper of my own pants and wriggled out of them as quickly as I could without pulling too far away from him. Claiming his mouth again, I rubbed against him through my panties, squeezing the base of his cock until a groan escaped him.
Ryo drew back and looked up at me, his eyes gone heavy-lidded and even darker than before. “Are you sure?” he murmured.
“I’ve got an implant,” I said. “And I’m clean. As long as you are too…” I assumed condoms weren’t easy to come by around here, but then, maybe it was ridiculous to even be thinking about STDs in a bizarre world where the weather never changed and everyone’s life was bound to a freaking rose.
“I’m good,” he said. “But that’s not what I meant. You’ve been through a lot, just in the last few hours—”
I lowered my head so my forehead brushed his. “That’s why I need this. I want you. I want to remember how alive I am.” A sudden doubt unfurled in my chest. “Unless you don’t—”
“No.” He cupped my cheek. “I want you too. I’ll always want you.”
“And you have me.” I kissed him and yanked my panties to the side. I was so wet already that I slid down onto him with only the faintest burn that turned almost instantly into a sear of pleasure.
“Trix,” Ryo mumbled against my lips, and let out another groan as I rose and sank over him. His hips bucked up to meet my rhythm. As we rocked together in deeper and deeper pulses, he clutched my thigh, connecting our bodies that much more determinedly.
The bliss built so fast through my core that it was almost bittersweet, but I couldn’t bring myself to slow down. We crashed into each other over and over, the pleasure taking me higher, our breaths ragged between chaotic kisses. I soared farther with each thrust inside me. Then ecstasy burst like fireworks behind my eyes, ringing through me and flooding out every other emotion.
Ryo gripped me tighter as I clenched around him. A tremor raced through his body as he reached his own release. He pulled me to him, our bodies hot and damp with sweat in the cool air, and pressed a kiss to my cheek.
And in that moment I couldn’t help thinking it was a shame that “always” might not be more than another day.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Trix
Ryo and I parted ways on the second floor between the two sets of stairs. He brushed a kiss to my lips with no sign of the awkwardness that sometimes followed an intense hookup like we’d just shared.