“Your wife is your excuse for everything.”
He shrugs, reaching back into his briefcase and pulling out another envelope. “I ran a check on Finn.”
“He’s a baby. What did you expect to find?”
“That’s just it,” Jon says. “I didn’t find anything. No social security number. No birth certificate. Nothing. There’s no record anywhere that he was ever born.”
“Paige said she gave birth at home.”
“You still have to apply for a birth certificate and a social security card,” he says.
Our emergency room visit pops in my mind. She didn’t know Finn’s social security number. How did she sign up for health insurance through my company without giving the number? Did she leave the spot blank? Did no one ever notice that? “Maybe it’s under a different name. Hudson is Paige’s last name. Maybe Finn’s birth certificate is under his father’s last name.”
Jon says, “I ran a check for any boy named Finn born on December first of last year in the whole state of Tennessee. There were two, and neither one of their mothers was named Paige.”
“Maybe she wasn’t in Tennessee. I never asked her. Or maybe she just never filed the paperwork or . . .”
He pulls out another piece of paper, this one with information on Paige’s mother—arrest record, various addresses. He points at her last arrest. The charges were dropped, but there’s another piece of information that has my attention. “Maybe,” Jon says. “Or maybe it’s something else.”
*
Paige darts out of bed, one hand over her mouth, the other over her stomach. The bathroom door slams behind her, and I hear the unmistakable sound of her vomiting.
Hurrying out of bed, I call out her name, “Paige?”
“Oh God,” she groans as I hear more come up, followed by Finn crying.
“Get Finn!” she yells out to me.
What a way to wake up. Not that I got much sleep last night anyway, going over and over again in my mind what Jon dug up about Paige’s mom. I’m not sure what to think, but I know I can’t lose Paige. Under no circumstance will I let that happen.
Pushing open the door to Finn’s room, I find him sitting up in his crib, and as soon as he sees me, a big smile covers his little face. Everyone should be greeted by a smile like that.
Picking him up, I give him some love and quickly change his diaper. When we make it back to my bedroom, Paige is emerging from the bathroom, looking like something the cat dragged in. But she smiles at me just the same.
Her life has taught her how to do that—smile through shit.
“Morning sickness?” I ask, encouraging her back to bed.
“Guess so,” she says, snuggling under the covers.
I sit down beside her, Finn on my lap, and she kisses his little hand. “Did you have a lot of morning sickness with him?”
“Each pregnancy is different,” Paige says. “Old wives’ tale is that you throw up more with girls.”
“A girl,” I whisper, realizing she dodged my question. “Maybe we should wait to find out. Let it be a surprise.”
“Isn’t this pregnancy enough of a surprise?” she teases.
“Did you know Finn was a boy?” I ask.
Her blue eyes glance away for a second. “Not until he was born. The little stinker was a couple of weeks early.”
“Were you ready? I mean, since it was a home birth.”
“I don’t think you’re ever totally ready to have a baby.”
“Was he born in Nashville?” I ask.
“No, we moved here shortly after he was born,” she says, throwing me a look.
“But he was born in Tennessee?”
“Yes,” she says, sitting up slightly. “What’s with all the questions?”
“Am I asking a lot of questions?” I ask with a grin. Her head tilts to the side like she’s annoyed, and I’m sure she is. She just threw up, and I’m hounding her for information. “I have one more question.”
“Slade.”
“And I need you to give me the right answer,” I say. Her mouth starts to open, no doubt ready to give me some sassy response. “I’m taking Finn to the ranch. Meet us out there when you’re ready to answer.”
“Wait! What’s the question?” she asks.
Holding Finn, I head for the door. “The ranch.”
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
PAIGE
He knows. No, he can’t know.
He wants the truth. That’s his question.
Truth?
My mind is telling me to run. I’ve done that before, and I can do it again. I hate to run, to uproot Finn from everything he’s known for the past few months. In that respect, it was easier when he was an infant. Now it seems we are leaving so much more behind. I can’t think about it, though. This isn’t about me. This is about Finn. It’s always been about Finn and protecting him.
My hand goes over my belly. Slade’s baby. I can’t do that to Slade. I won’t.
Tears stream down my face. I’m trapped, and there’s only one way out.
There’s only been one way out this whole time.
I start to drive. It wasn’t that long ago that Jon was driving me out to the ranch for the first time. Here I am again, watching the buildings of Nashville turn into the rolling hills of the countryside, the noise of the city fading away to the quiet that used to keep me up at night.
For a few short months, I had it—everything—the fairy tale. The poor girl who falls in love with the rich prince. That was me.
I knew it couldn’t last, but I hoped it would be longer than this. That’s what really hurts. I started to hope, to believe.
To rely on his love. He promised I could.
I bought into it all when I knew better.
I’m a felon, a criminal. It doesn’t matter why I did it. I still did it.
Slade doesn’t deserve to feel the kind of pain that’s coming. He simply fell in love with the wrong woman. That’s his only crime. Loving me.
I know he suspects something, but I don’t know how much he really knows. If he knew everything, he could very well have the police waiting for me. I don’t want him to have to make that decision. I turn down the road that leads to the ranch. On my first trip out here, I remember searching for a sign, the name of the ranch. I never spotted one.
Until today.
I pass under a wood and metal archway, and engraved at the top in simple lettering, it reads:
Paige’s Home
I cover my mouth to try to contain my cry. The house comes into view. I know the inside is a mess, broken.
I know that feeling. I am that house.
Only the house can be repaired. What I’ve done can’t be.
Getting out of the car, I remember the story Jon told me about being on that bridge. I’m on the ledge, and I’ve got to get off or jump. I can’t keep walking the line.
When I turn the knob on the front door, it still feels like home, just like his sign reads. Slade has Finn on his hip, both of them waiting for me. Both of them smile at me. My heart cracks. I don’t deserve for Slade to look at me like that, to love me.
He holds Finn out, letting me know he’s mine to take. I hold my arms out to Finn, whose chunky arms and legs are flailing around, clearly happy to see me. Holding Slade’s gaze, I take Finn in my arms and whisper my promise. “I’ll do whatever I have to.”