Holding onto me, he moved us back until I felt his body hit the side of the pool and my knee press into the wall behind him. The hand Saul still had on my hip moved then and I felt the cool breeze against my nipple only a moment before his mouth pulled it into the warmth. I had to grab onto his shoulders for support and rocked my hips against him as I moaned from the pleasure coursing through me.
I hadn’t come here tonight… I hadn’t gotten in this pool with him, thinking this would happen. Possibly I had imagined kissing but not this. In the back of my mind, I feared what this would do to me. Deep down, I knew this would make me vulnerable, but in this moment with his body against mine and his mouth tasting me, I couldn’t make myself care.
The intoxicating freedom of taking what I wanted and enjoying it was stronger than any concern for my future. Saul’s mouth moved to the other breast and I buried my hands in his dark wet curls. I moved my hips against him and my head fell back further as the pressure between my legs caused my body to start clawing toward a release.
Saul released my nipple and he lifted his head up to look at me. His half-lidded eyes did nothing to hide the sky blue color of them, but his pupils were so large they were pushing the color back. His hands slid to my lower back and he began to move his body with mine. His gaze never leaving me, I felt one hand brush the skin on my side, then my stomach as he slipped it into the front of my bikini bottoms.
Breathing was no longer something I could do as I waited for his touch.
“Hate to break up the party but you got a fucking psycho ex in here that won’t leave.” Drake’s voice rang out over the patio and with his words he might as well have tossed a bucket of ice water on our heads.
I moved first, dropping the leg I had up on his hip, and started to back away when his hands grabbed my waist. “No,” he said. Then pulled me to him and buried his face in the curve of my neck and shoulder.
I stood there for only a second before I placed my hands on his arms. I wasn’t sure if I had put them there to break free or not, but I didn’t do anything but stand there breathing hard.
“Fuck,” he said in a husky voice and then finally raised his head to look at me. I saw the same frustration and disappointment in his eyes that I felt. My body still wasn’t on board with the sudden halt to the pleasure, but I was breathing again.
He brushed my cheek with the back of his hand as he stared at me. “I’ll go deal with this. Wait for me,” he whispered.
Did he think I would say no? Had any female ever told him no? I would wager they hadn’t. I nodded.
He pressed a kiss to my temple and lingered for a moment then stepped back away from me and headed for the steps nearest to us, leading out of the pool. I watched him go and wondered if this had been fate. Had I been about to make a mistake and it was stepping in to keep me from it?
The idea depressed me. I didn’t want to think being with Saul was a bad thing. I wanted to enjoy it and not think at all. If I thought too much, I was afraid of how I might see things.
“Could you fucking hurry?” Drake’s voice called out. “She’s batshit!”
I turned to see a white towel wrapped around Saul’s waist as he walked back toward the house. I would be lying if a part of me didn’t worry that he’d see Fleur and remember why he was with her. He would miss her or feel something for her. Just admitting that to myself was proof enough I was past the point of no return. When this was over, whatever it was between us, I was going to be hurt.
It was clear Fleur was hurt and he had moved on from her so quickly. To me. And I had thought nothing of it. Until now. I could easily be Fleur one day.
Twenty-Three
I wrapped my towel around me and stood there a moment, looking out over the gulf and wondering if I should make myself comfortable on the lounge chair or leave. It had been over ten minutes since Saul went inside and I was beginning to think he might not be coming back out. The problem with my leaving was my things were inside, specifically upstairs, and I had no vehicle. Although I could walk.
I heard the footsteps behind me and turned to see Rio walking toward me with two drinks in his hands. He was wearing red swim trunks and a Slacker Demon tee shirt. He stopped beside me and held one of them out to me.
“Take it,” he said and I did. He then leaned forward to rest his elbows on the railing. “Drink it.”
“Is it seltzer?” I asked him, looking down at the clear soda in my glass.
“Yep,” he replied. “And some vodka. Drink the shit. You might need it.”
I thought about arguing then decided he knew more about what was going on inside than I did. If he was out here to tell me that Saul was gone with Fleur then a vodka soda might help. I took a drink then shivered. It had been a while since I had alcohol.
“Thought I’d keep you company and offer to go get your things upstairs and take you home if you want me to,” he said, while looking out at the waves. He then took a long drink from his glass. It was as clear as mine so I assumed we were drinking the same thing.
“Should I leave?” I asked him with an overwhelming sadness suddenly settling on me.
He glanced back at me. “Depends on what you want to do.”
I didn’t know what I wanted to do. “Is Saul still with Fleur?” I asked.
Rio nodded then took another drink. “Yep. She’s drunk and he had to call someone to come get her. Right now she’s screaming the house down about Saul’s new ho,” he said with a grin. “How many times you been called a ho?” he then asked me and chuckled.
I glanced back at the house. “This would be my first,” I replied.
“Thought so,” he replied, sounding amused.
We stood there a few minutes looking out at the water.
“You sure you wanna do this?” Rio asked me.
“Do what?” I replied, already understanding him but wanting him to clarify.
“Saul.”
“You seemed okay with it before,” I reminded him.
He nodded then looked back at me. “Yeah but shit like this reminds me what you are in for. Saul… he’s a good friend. He’s my best friend. But y’all, well, y’all don’t have a future. We are just getting to know each other but what I have seen of you is that you do life much differently. Saul’s life has no stability. It changes. Often.”
I took a long drink and this time the burn wasn’t so bad. It was needed. I understood what Rio was saying and I already knew this. He was warning me and if I was smart, I would listen. But I wasn’t looking for smart. I had done that already, and my heart had still been broken. Things with Saul would never be like they were with Will.
“I don’t expect Saul to be anything more than what he is. This isn’t about me looking for security. It’s about me not knowing or planning every step or being so careful I miss things in life. I don’t want to miss Saul because I was afraid of the end.”