This time she was the one reaching up to wipe the tears from her face. Thinking she might be my grandmother and knowing she was changed things. I wanted to study her more, listen to her talk, I wanted time with her. Time I had lost. Time that was taken away from me by my mother’s selfishness.
“I should have told you and I am sorry I didn’t. I just didn’t know how and I feared you may leave. I didn’t know what your mother had told you about your father and I worried you might not want to be here if you knew. Every time I thought about telling you, I backed out of it. I was just getting to know you and I didn’t want to lose you.”
I understood that and I was glad now that I had been the one to say something. “Did he ever see me?” I asked the one question my mother refused to answer.
Hillya smiled and went over to her desk and picked up another photo and brought it back to me. She handed it to me and the emotion that slammed into my chest when I saw the image was overwhelming.
I stared down at the younger version of my father. He was holding a tiny baby wrapped in a pink blanket smiling down at her… at me. He was so young, and he looked so happy.
“They were going to be married,” Hillya said. “I was so worried about him being a father at such a young age because he was still so immature and wild. He wasn’t though. He was determined that he would be a good father and husband,” she paused. “But things came out and your mother took you and left. She was young too and terrified. Rebel had never been easy to love and he often hurt those that loved him the most.”
“Rio,” I said his name without thinking. Understanding dawned on me and I spoke it aloud.
Hillya gave me a sad smile. “Why am I not surprised you already have made that connection? You’ve been here a month and you’ve connected the dots. There are people in this town who still haven’t.”
“It was Rio’s mother then? Her being pregnant that sent my mom away?” I asked because my dots were not fully connected yet. She may think I had it all worked out but I didn’t.
Hillya nodded. “Yes, Rio. Rebel left me two parts of himself on this earth when he was gone and I’ve missed out on both of them. Manda, Rio’s mom, took off before he was born and he was seventeen when I saw him for the first time. He came in here and ordered a coffee and a cupcake. Those eyes were Rebel’s and his voice. If I had closed my eyes, I would have sworn Rebel was right here with me. When he left with his things, I closed the door and went and cried for hours in my office.”
I had a brother.
I stood there a moment and let it sink in. Overnight, I had a family I had missed out on knowing. It was right here in this small town all along.
“He will want to know. He’ll want to meet you,” I told her.
She lit up. “He would?”
I nodded.
“I would love that,” she said on a sob, and I moved forward and wrapped my arms around her.
She clung to me then and cried harder. This was my grandmother and my careless, wild father had made mistakes, but he had wanted me. He had been looking at me with love in his face. He had held me.
Tears began to form in my eyes again and while I stood there with Hillya as she cried, I cried too. We had all lost something, but there was time. We had time to change what we could.
Not everyone gets this chance and not everyone understands the importance when they do. I did and although my gran had kept this from me, I understood her reasons and loved her too much to hold it against her. She had been afraid of losing me. She had also attempted to make it right at her death.
The list she had sent me had made me so angry. I hadn’t wanted to think of her dying. Yet in it, she had left me so much.
Thanks, Gran.
Twenty-Eight
When I arrived at home, Rio was already there. I had texted both him and Saul. Rio had responded, but I hadn’t heard from Saul all day. I reached the top step and looked over at Rio who was sitting in the swing.
“Did you find more letters? I never got to read the last ones,” he said.
I shook my head. “No, I didn’t find more letters. But we don’t need those anymore,” I told him then went to unlock the door. “Let’s go inside.”
Rio stood and followed me in the house. I glanced at my phone one more time to see if I had missed a text or call before setting it down on the kitchen counter.
“Saul’s dad showed up this morning. Drake said the limo pulled in the drive around nine. If he’s not responding, that’s why. He’s dealing with Archer.”
“Oh,” I replied, wondering why his father being here would keep him from at least sending me one text.
“If you don’t see or hear from him today, don’t let it get to you. When his dad is here, he is different. He gets in a dark place. More moody than usual. They don’t have a good relationship and if this visit concerns Lily, it will make it much worse.”
I knew very little about his dad and what I did know Saul hadn’t told me. That part of his world was closed to me and I wondered what else about Saul I may never get to know. Before I could dwell on it and get in my own dark place, I pushed the worries back and focused on what I needed to tell Rio. Today had been a good day. I didn’t want to ruin it with my fears about Saul and the future I knew we wouldn’t get.
“Do you want a drink or something?” I asked Rio.
He shook his head and plopped down on the sofa and crossed his arms over his chest. “Nope. Tell me what you know. I’m ready.”
I walked over and sat down in the floral chair across from him. “Well, okay. Let me start with a few days ago. Last week to be exact. The day that Saul was missing.”
“Back when we were still focused on finding out who our father was?” Rio asked with a smirk and teasing glint in his eyes. I knew he was pointing out once Saul and I decided to do whatever it was we were doing that I had been less focused on Rebel’s identity.
“Yeah, well you see, I already knew who Rebel was by then. I wasn’t sure when to tell you or how to tell you or if I should talk to…” I stopped and sighed. “Emily, the redhead I work with, that is also Hillya’s great niece, broke a frame in Hillya’s office. She came out to apologize and said that the picture of Rebel was fine, just the frame was broken. When Hillya left the kitchen, I asked who Rebel was and she said he was Hillya’s son. He died in a car accident when he was twenty.”
Rio was leaning forward now, his elbows propped on his knees and his brow creased in a frown. “Are you serious?” he asked.
“Yes and today Hillya and I were there alone and the topic came up about my mom and stuff so I just asked her point blank about Rebel. She confirmed that he was my father and yours.” I didn’t tell him about the photo of Rebel holding me or his mother being pregnant the reason my mom left town and Rebel. I wasn’t sure how to explain all that or if I even should.