Saul pressed his lips together as if he was trying not to laugh.
“Those are great songs!” I told him. “Epic songs!”
“‘He Stopped Loving Her Today’ is a great song. But ‘Rockstar’? Really? Come on, it’s Nickelback.” He was smiling and that was all that mattered. He could hate my music.
“You are judgmental,” I informed him. “What’s yours?”
“Movies or songs?”
“Both,” I replied.
He didn’t even take a moment to think about it. “Fight Club and ‘Stairway to Heaven,’” he said.
“How old are you?” I shot back at him.
“Fucking ancient,” he replied.
“Will you ever play your guitar for me?” I asked him. He never mentioned it but it was always there in his room. I knew he played it when he was alone. Drake had told me so.
“Maybe,” was his one word response then his smile faded and his expression got serious. “Kiss me,” he said.
I bent my head and cupped his face and did just that. Saul shifted me in his lap and I straddled him so it was easier. We kissed softly at first, but when his hands moved under my shirt and covered my breasts, it became more intense. This was a reason to stay. He was a reason to stay. I didn’t think I could leave him. Not anymore. Maybe if I hadn’t allowed myself to sleep with him or maybe if I hadn’t made him smile. Possibly then I could have left, but I was kidding myself if I thought I could leave.
Needing to know and no longer able to give it time, I broke the kiss and looked at him.
“What happens when summer is over? When it’s time for me to go?” I asked him breathlessly.
“I’m working on making sure you don’t,” he replied without thought.
“That I don’t what?” I asked, needing to be sure I understood him correctly.
Saul leaned close to me and brushed a kiss on my cheek. “That you don’t go, Henley.”
His words were all I needed. There was no longer a question about my leaving. There was just a lot of sorting out of my future now. I had to close out my life back in Chattanooga. Right now, though, none of that mattered. All I cared about was that I was here with Saul.
Later that night, when Saul was asleep, I turned my head to watch him. He was so peaceful like this. His breathing had slowed and I was so tempted to touch him but didn’t want to wake him. Things had changed for me and so very quickly. The first day when he had stepped out of his truck, if I had known we would lead to this, I wasn’t sure I would have stayed.
I had come to The Shores terrified to live again. Saul had changed that.
“I love you,” I whispered.
Thirty-Seven
The rest of the week Signed Sips was insanely busy from open to close. I worked late hours to help the evening rush. Hillya had said every year the week after July 4 was the craziest around The Shores. The roads were bumper-to-bumper on main street with all the tourists in town. Getting anywhere was impossible. Walking from Gran’s had become easier than driving to work.
Lily had another setback and Saul was staying with her for the most part. I wished I could do something to help, but I didn’t know what I could do. He had been with me the night Lily had taken off again, except this time drugs had been involved. He believed she had been sneaking around getting it from a guy she met at AA meetings.
I missed him, but I also understood his need to take care of his mother. My heart hurt for him and the life he lived because of her. Would he ever get to live without the pressure of keeping his mom clean and alive? I tried not to get angry with Lily about what she was doing to herself and in turn to Saul, but it was so difficult.
Rio and Drake were passed trying to accept Lily’s addiction and they both openly talked about their hate for her in front of me. Not in front of Saul. Rio said Drake had made the mistake once of calling Saul’s mother a bitch and Saul had slammed his fist into Drake’s face. Drake had woken up on the floor.
If Lily were to ever get well, what would Saul do with his life? This was something I wanted to ask him, but I was also afraid to ask. Reminding him that his entire life revolved around keeping his mom clean seemed cruel. He had accepted this role and I was sure he had thought about the long term of it.
When Saturday afternoon came and things slowed down with so many people heading back to their homes after their week of vacation, Hillya sent me home at five. I wouldn’t have to work the next two days and I was thankful for the time off. It also meant I would be free when Saul was available. I missed him.
I texted him that I would be home this evening as I walked into the house. He immediately replied he would come as soon as Lily was asleep. I took my time in the shower and made myself a sandwich for dinner.
When Saul knocked on the door, it was after nine and I was on the sofa watching season two of Downton Abbey on Netflix. I took off my blanket and left it on the sofa when I went to open the door. Saul said nothing when he stepped inside.
He grabbed my face with both hands and kissed me hard. I much preferred this greeting to words. I held onto his arms to steady myself and kissed him back just as fiercely. He had been smoking. I could taste the nicotine mixed with the mint he had used to try to cover it up. I knew he had been trying to stop or at least cut back but dealing with his mom sent him into chain smoking.
He pulled back and inhaled deeply. “God you always smell and taste so damn good,” he whispered then pressed one more kiss to my lips before dropping his hands from my face to wrap them around me and hold me against his chest.
We stood there like that for several moments. His hard chest under my cheek was warm from the summer heat. I was content just like this. If I could stay in his arms forever, I would be a happy girl.
“What the fuck are you watching?” he finally asked, and I smiled and pulled back to look up at him. He was looking at the television and frowning.
“Downton Abbey,” I replied, doubting he knew what that was.
His expression said he did not. When he looked back down at me, he smirked. “It’s British,” he said.
I nodded.
“God, I’ve missed you,” he told me.
“I’ve missed you too,” I assured him.
He released a weary sigh then and loosened his hold on me. “Do you have any food?”
“Yes, you want me to make you a grilled cheese? I also have some chocolate chip muffins,” I told him, taking his hand and walking toward the kitchen. “Or I could make some pasta.”
“Grilled cheese and a muffin sound good,” he replied.
I let go of his hand and went directly to the fridge to get out the real cheese I had bought last week just for him. He wasn’t a fan of the dairy-free stuff I kept for myself. However, he liked my homemade gluten-free bread. I took out the loaf of bread and got busy fixing him some dinner. He didn’t eat well when he was busy with Lily.