“You haven’t even talked about our future. I’m not even sure how you feel about me. You keep it all bottled up and never talk about it, so I don’t know what to say.”
His knuckles are white from gripping the steering wheel. “This is over, Katie. I can’t do this anymore.”
I brush at the tears forming in my eyes. Over and over in my head I tell myself, Don’t cry, Katie. Don’t cry. But no matter what convincing I try, it doesn’t work, and my vision blurs.
I silently sob the whole way home. I want to beg and plead, I want to throw things and cuss, but when it all comes down to it, I don’t. When he pulls into my driveway, I get out of the truck and look at him. He’s not looking at me, but at least he’s not driving off.
In my steadiest voice, I tell him, “If you cared about what I wanted you wouldn’t do this, and since you’re not going to ask me what I want, I’m going to tell you. I want you to tell me you love me. I want you to be with me and know that you are exactly what I need. You love me, even though you haven’t said it, you love me like I’ve never been loved before. If it was just you, me, and Lane for the rest of our lives, I would be happy. If you wanted to have more kids, I would love our adopted child as if he or she was our own. That’s all I want, Trey. A family to belong to... a family with you.”
I slam the door and take off running into the house. I lean back against the closed front door and hold my breath, hoping that he will follow me. Seconds later, I hear him pull out of the driveway, and my heart completely shatters into pieces.
Treyton
I’m doing the right thing. I’m doing the right thing. I keep saying it, hoping that I’m going to start believing it. Katie deserves to be happy. She deserves way more than I can give her, and knowing that is the only thing that stops me from turning around and begging her to take me back.
I hurt Katie. Lane is going to be upset when I don’t come to pick him up. I’m hurting both of them, but in the long run, it’s for the best. They’ll see it soon enough. They don’t need me. They need someone that can make their dreams come true, and obviously I can’t be that guy.
I saw her with AJ, and Gracie was right. Katie is a natural. She deserves to have more children if that’s what she wants, and I’d give anything to be a part of it, but that’s not in the cards for me. And who knows, she says it’s fine now, but one day she’ll regret it and then where will we be? I don’t want to let her go now... I can’t imagine doing it later.
12
Katie
He’s a stupid man. I say it in my head and even though I know he’s not really stupid, I still feel better.
Gracie called me this morning and begged me to come talk to Treyton. I guess he’s having a hard time. I harumph and roll my eyes. He’s having a hard time? Good. He deserves it. He threw our relationship out the door without a second glance. I hope he is having a hard time.
“You look like shit,” Jamie says as she walks into the break room.
I close the lid on my uneaten yogurt because just looking at it makes me sick. “Thanks,” I mutter.
Jamie sits in the seat next to me. “It’s been weeks, Katie. Just call him.”
I sit up straighter in my chair. “I’m not calling him.”
She turns in her seat and stares at me. “Really? You think you can just keep going on like this? You’ve lost weight. You’re pitiful. You said Lane is missing him something awful. You said Gracie called you and told you that Trey is miserable. It’s time you work this out.”
“I can’t, Jamie. He doesn’t see it from my side, and let’s face it, if he really loved me, nothing would keep us apart. I’m not getting into another relationship with someone that doesn’t love me. I’ve been there done that. Plus, you’re the one that said I should just treat it like a rebound guy or something, remember?”
She rolls her eyes and pulls out her tuna fish sandwich. As soon as the smell assaults my nose, I start to heave. I take big gulping breaths. “Oh my God, put that away,” I beg of her.
She takes a bite and with her mouth full, holds the sandwich up. “What? This?” She keeps chewing while pulling out the remainder of food in her bag. “And yes, I told you to treat it like a rebound relationship. But hell, I didn’t know you were going to fall in love with him.”
I get up because there’s no way I can sit in this chair and continue to watch her eat. Who knows what else she’s going to bring out of that bag? I get up and start to walk and get two steps before I’m reaching for the chair that’s not where I thought it was. Everything fades to black, and that’s the last thing I remember.
Treyton
“Treyton, phone’s for you,” Emily screeches from the front. She can’t figure out the phone system and how to transfer a call so instead she screeches anytime she needs someone. A part of me thinks she does it because it drives Dawson mad.
I pick up the line in my booth. “This is Trey.”
“This is Jamie, Katie’s friend.”
My heart drops. “Are Katie and Lane okay? What’s happened?”
I’m already walking across the room to grab my keys.
“No, neither one of them are okay, but I hope they will be. I have Lane at the house. Katie has been sick and passed out today at work.”
“Where is she?”
“She’s at Mercy. Room 211.... if you’re not going, I need to send Craig to sit with her. I don’t want her there by herself, and she didn’t want Lane to be at the hospital.”
“I’m going... I’m leaving now.”
I run out the doors without any explanation. I make the trip to Jasper in record time and run from the parking lot all the way to the 2nd floor of the hospital to her room. The trip here, all I could think about is what if there’s something wrong with her. How could I live in a world without Katie in it? The last few weeks have been pure hell. Nothing has been right... not my life, not my art, nothing. It’s like I’ve been in a fog.
I push open the door without knocking and am shocked to see a very pale Katie lying back on white sheets. Her eyes open, and her mouth drops. “Trey. What are you doing here?”
“Jamie called me. Are you okay?” I stride toward the bed, grab her hand in mine, and hold it to my chest. I’m pretty sure I aged twenty years since Jamie called me. “Fuck, baby, I was worried sick the whole way here. I can’t lose you. Whatever it is, we’re going to get through this. Me and you... I’m going to take care of you and Lane.”
She pulls her hand back and then pulls the sheet up to cover herself. I know she’s mad, and she has every right to be. “I won’t ever leave you again, Katie. I fucked up... I know I did, but I’m lost without you. I feel like I can’t breathe without you.”
She blinks but doesn’t say anything. At least she’s not kicking me out of here. “Have you seen the doctor? Did they say what’s wrong?”
She still doesn’t say anything, but her face softens as she looks at me. I push my free hand through my hair. The look she’s giving me is pure torture. Why is she not answering me? I automatically start to think the worst. “Tell me what they said,” I demand, preparing myself for the worst.