Until she started blowing me off.
Was I worried about repercussions from her speech? Sure, a little. But we’ll deal with them.
Together.
We’re a team. We’ve been working together on this for so long. I’ve never had this feeling with a woman before—a feeling of being a part of something bigger than just myself.
I couldn’t wait to see her, but when she finally texted me, she was too tired and drunk, apparently. I was happy at first; good for her for celebrating a bit. I bet Felise and Magan had something to do with that.
It’s been a rush seeing those three sisters come together, finding commonalities, finding love. And seeing Joe and Cassie’s happiness at that is also touching. I won’t do anything to damage that.
But she told me not to come Saturday for tutoring because she wasn’t feeling well and didn’t answer my calls. Then she told me she’d see me at Joe and Cassie’s.
My instincts were standing up and waving red flags.
Now I know why.
And I’m pissed.
“I’m coming in,” I tell her, my tone making it clear that’s not up for discussion.
She sighs. “Of course. We need to talk.”
My teeth grind together as I follow her into the building and then her condo. She sets down her purse, tosses her coat over the back of a chair, and sits on her couch.
I sit too. “Okay, once again—what the fuck is going on?”
“I told you.” She lifts her stubborn, pointy little chin and meets my eyes. Emotion swirls in her eyes, and her mouth trembles faintly.
“That was all bullshit.”
“It wasn’t!” She glares.
“Tell me about yesterday.”
She recounts mostly what I’ve heard, the support she had from other women and that she felt good after.
“I’m proud of you, Romy,” I say quietly.
She blinks rapidly, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. “Thank you. I felt proud too. But then…” She stops. “They told me that Ziggy threatened to take away your powers.”
“How the hell did they know that?” I rumble, rubbing my forehead with my fingertips.
She doesn’t answer. “You didn’t tell me that.”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because it would have made you feel worse! And it’s not going to happen.”
“You should have told me!”
“I didn’t want to upset you!”
“Well, I am upset!” Color rises in her face.
“It’s okay.” I try for a calmer tone, even though adrenaline is flowing through me, making my muscles twitch, making me hot. “It’s. Not. Going. To. Happen.”
“How can you be sure of that? As if it wasn’t bad enough, I went back and had another meeting with them not knowing that! I could have made things worse for you!”
“Well, you didn’t!”
“We don’t know that yet.” She slumps back on the couch. “I can’t believe I’ve been so selfish. Putting so much at risk for you.”
Anger simmers in my belly, hot and turbulent. Heat slides through my veins.
“I know you didn’t want to get involved with me because of the whole family situation.” She waves a hand. “Because you don’t do relationships. But we did it anyway. I know how important family and home is to you. And your job. Joe and Cassie. And then for me to be so thoughtless and mess up in my interview, knowing that you’d be impacted because of tutoring me…” Her outpouring of words comes to a halt. “I’m so sorry.”
And I lose it. “You don’t have to fucking apologize! I told you, I support you on everything you’re standing up for.”
“You don’t have to swear at me! You’ve been swearing since we got here!”
I close my eyes, struggling for control. “I’m sorry. I’m… upset.” Inwardly I snort at my understatement.
“I see that.” Her mouth twists. “What are you upset about? We both know we shouldn’t be together. We can’t be together!”
“What are you saying?” A rock sits in my gut.
“We need to end this. Before the family finds out. Felise and Magan already suspect something because I was so upset the other day when they told me that.”
I stare at her. She’s not saying anything I haven’t thought. Or said. Repeatedly.
So why do I feel like someone’s twisting a knife in my chest?
“Don’t worry, I won’t be like your other women. I won’t hate you. When we’re around the family, we’ll just pretend nothing ever happened.”
“What the…?” I stop myself before another curse word leaves my lips. “You want to end things? Fine.” I jump to my feet, turn and stride out.
I don’t drive home because that would be stupid. But when my car is sitting behind my house, I don’t get out. I stay there, leaning back into the seat, eyes closed.
Hilarious. It turned out to be her decision to end things. And my head is telling me that her reasons are valid. We’ve already talked about the family complications. And yeah, she did cause problems for me with the Board of Elders. Not that I give a shit.
Or… maybe I do. I’m still holding on to a thread of hope that there’s a way to get my family back. I did find that ancient grimoire that talks about a Vita Nova portal. That might convince them. If I stay on their good side.
Fuck. Pain slices through my gut.
Romy’s right. This is for the best. I always knew it would end up like this.
I just didn’t know it would hurt so fucking much.
ROMY
Joe arrives early in the morning with my car. He studies my face, frowning. “You, uh… don’t look so good.”
“I know.” I rub my gritty eyes. “I didn’t sleep much last night.” I feel like something a wild animal chewed up and spit out over a cliff. “I’ll feel better after my coffee.” I hold up my mug. “Would you like a cup?”
“Sure.”
I move into the kitchen to brew a cup for him. “I’m sorry you had to bring my car back. I was nervous last night, and I conjured a few too many glasses of wine.”
Standing at my counter, his lips twitch. “On the bright side, you’ve got that down.”
“True.”
A few minutes later we both sit on my couch with our coffees.
“Why are you doing this?” he asks quietly. “Giving up your powers?”
“I’m never going to be any good.” I pluck at the furry pink cushion. “I wanted to fit in with my new family. I always wanted family, and then I got what I wanted, but you all are so different… so amazing. I’ve worked so hard, and I still don’t fit in.”
“That’s not true.”
I barrel on. “And like I said yesterday, I’ve caused too many problems for all of you.”
Joe sighs. “I’m not trying to change your mind about giving up your powers. And I know you said you’ve thought this through. But I think it’s time for you to do some shadow work.”
I’ve heard this term, but it’s not something Trace and I have covered. “Okay?”