I sucked in a breath.
He shook out his hand as if he couldn’t stop the tingles of heat our skin had conjured. He wasn’t the only one affected by our closeness; not the only one frustrated by our quick fuck on the floor.
I hadn’t wanted it.
He hadn’t either.
Yet it’d happened, and it still hovered around us, unfinished and expectant.
He winced as his hips rocked upward, ignoring his denials. He grunted and looked at me like a hunted thing. “Get away from me. You’re only making this worse.”
“I’m not afraid of you, Kas.”
“You should be.”
“You can trust me,” I murmured.
He looked at the ceiling, rolling his eyes. “Trust?” He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe my stupidity. I expected him to yell. Instead, he whispered, “You fool, it’s you who can’t trust me.”
Goosebumps sprang over my skin as his eyes caught mine, simmering with need that reached out with violent fingers and caressed every inch of me. “I’m not asking you to get away for my benefit.” His voice lowered until it hummed with carnality. “The real reason is...” He swallowed hard as if it cost him to be so honest. “Is so I don’t repeat what I just did. I mean it. Don’t give me a chance to hurt you again. Because I will. I’m seconds away from snapping. I’m hungry and hard and the horniest I’ve ever been in my entire life, and you...you—” He laughed coldly. “You continue to touch me. You continue to give me comfort when you’re the one who deserves it. I can’t stand it. I can’t bear being this close to you and not being inside you. It’s driven me mad for the past week. It’s all I’ve fucking thought about. I’ve spent seven days in a state of unbearable need, and now that I’ve tasted you again. Christ—!” He pinched the bridge of his nose, slamming his lips together.
I froze.
My mouth parted with a soft puff of air.
He rubbed his face with his palms. “It hurts. I don’t know how much longer I can stand it. Every piece of me feels like it’s tangled and throbbing. It’s fucking killing me. You’re killing me. I’m seconds away from snatching you. Moments away from sinking back inside you. Permission or no permission and that terrifies me because if I do—if I fuck you again after raping you only minutes ago, then I might as well admit I’m exactly like the guests who visited this place.” His hands balled, wedging his knuckles into his eyes as if he could eradicate everything he’d seen happen here. “At least, I have the excuse of a nightmare for the first time.” His head tipped down, his eyes blazing into mine as he dropped his shaking hands. “This time, I wouldn’t have that. I’d have to come face-to-face with the truth that for all the changes inside me, all the attempts at being good, all my wishes to be better, I’m just as sick and evil as all those other cunts, and I—”
I snapped.
I didn’t think.
I didn’t second-guess.
I merely acted on all the feelings swooping, colliding, and crying inside me.
Snatching his ankles, I pulled with all my strength.
His legs snapped down, his calves slapping against the carpet as the cage he’d formed around his body was dismantled. His eyes flared as his mouth parted with a curse, but I was too fast.
He needed this.
He needed one moment where another person gave him kindness without expecting anything in return. No strings attached. No threats given. This was a gift, and I didn’t care what people would think of me because no one would ever know.
“What are you—?” His eyes flared as I straddled him.
I pressed my left hand on his shoulder for balance and reached for his hot erection with my right.
And then, I gave him salvation in the only way I could.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
“HOLY FUCKING—” I THREW my head back as her fingers latched around me, drowning out words with raw feelings.
Desperate, dangerous, demented feelings.
Gemma’s touch set off a ricochet inside me, a domino effect that collided through my walls, my locks, my carefully constructed dungeon of nightmares.
But instead of being smothered by them, instead of reliving every grotesque thing and cringing against the sickness inside me, the force field between us kept them away.
I was...free.
Blessedly, deliciously free as she spread her legs and sank down on me.
Not slowly.
Not teasingly.
She sheathed me inside her as quickly as I’d taken her before.
“Ah, Christ.” The aftershocks of being back inside her exquisite body made my blood race and heart chug and eyes see stars.
Her thighs kissed my hipbones as she adjusted herself to take me deeper. Her skin so pretty and pure. Her scent so captivating and crisp.
And I’d thought taking her on the clifftop was the best sex I’d ever had.
That paled in comparison to this.
Everything paled in comparison to her.
God, her.
She was giving me something entirely necessary for my existence. The only medicine that had the power to delete my atrocities and soothe away my scars.
I grunted as she rocked up.
She sank down again, crying out as my hard length hit her inner obstruction.
I tried to be quiet but failed, turning wild with growls and curses, pleas and sorrows.
I wanted so many things.
To grab her. Kiss her. Take her.
But I couldn’t move.
It was as if my body had a new master now, and she hadn’t given me permission to touch hers in return. I belonged to her. It’d happened in an instant, and I didn’t regret it. I welcomed it. She would be good to me, kind.
Fuck, if she wanted my body to play with for the rest of her life, it was hers. My cock was hers to use. My heart was hers to toy with. But I wasn’t worthy of touching her in return. I’d get her too dirty. I’d drag her too deep into the dark. I—
No.
This wasn’t right.
I didn’t deserve this.
“Stop,” I groaned, drowning under blistering pleasure.
“It’s okay,” she murmured, rocking over me once, twice. “Just let go.”
My mind flickered with sentences I should speak and actions I should do. She shouldn’t be doing this. Not after what I’d done.
Yet I couldn’t stop her.
I was hers.
Entirely, totally, permanently.
My jaw went slack as her wet heat grew hotter around me. My eyes snapped closed, and the electricity that’d existed between us since the moment she found me detonated outward.
It was in everything. In our breath, our blood, our bond.
I couldn’t understand how she could touch me after what I’d done. Couldn’t fathom how she was wet and willing and holy Christ, so, so wonderfully mine.
My cock swelled even harder inside her, filling her until there was no space between us. Not a single crack where our pasts or futures could find us.
We were just this.
Two people joined in the deepest way possible.
She slid up me then sank back down, grinding her clit on my base.
I choked and gasped for breath.
Devilish things roared through me. I wanted to grab her hips and hold her firm. I wanted to thrust up and mate. I wanted to hurt her, mark her, but I also wanted to run.