Wow, you are in soooo much trouble, Gem.
I wedged my knuckles into my eyes, groaning all over again.
This was bad.
This was very, very bad.
I dropped my hands and bunched the blankets keeping me warm and cozy on the floor. I twisted the expensive bedding, unable to lay still.
How had this happened?
How had I allowed this to happen?
A crow landed on the ceiling, its talons tapping against the glass, its intelligent eyes glaring at me as if it judged me just like I judged myself.
I cringed, squeezing my eyes shut, only for my head to be full of him again. His shyness beneath his savagery. His curiosity beneath his cruelty. His inherent need to take care of me after treating me like a monster.
I’ve lost my damn mind.
I shook my head on my stolen pillow.
No, I hadn’t lost my mind.
I’ve lost my heart.
I gasped and jackknifed up.
Kassen Sands—my kidnapper, tormentor, and friend?—had finally decided to rip away his darkness and prove I was right all along.
A kind and wonderful man existed beneath all the scars and secrets. A good and caring man who had undeniable skills—beaten and groomed into him—at making me shatter.
He was every power and pain combined. When he touched me, everything inside me answered. When he dropped his guard and spoke to me, every piece of me stilled and quieted to listen. And when he drew me a bath and washed my hair and fucked me as if he loved me, nothing else had existed.
Nothing.
Just him.
And me.
Just us.
We were stripped back to basics, and in that emptiness, I’d been slapped right in the face with horror.
I’m in love with him.
I grabbed my pillow and screamed into it.
“Argghhhhh!”
How had I gone and done something so stupid?
I’d already fallen for this man before. I’d fallen for the broken parts of him, the timid parts of him, the parts so deeply buried beneath his many, many psychological wounds that I doubted I’d ever see his true personality without his many ingrained faults.
It’d been painful enough to fall in love with a creature that couldn’t help itself. It’d been a constant bruise as I’d listened to his nightmares, found his dormitory, and burrowed deeper into his past.
But now?
God, now...that platonic, remote kind of love had exploded into something entirely out of my control.
I hugged my pillow, rocking it, probably looking half-crazed.
And I was crazed.
I was mad.
Nuts.
A lunatic.
Because I’ve fallen in love with the man who imprisoned me.
I sucked in a shaky breath, feeling a new kind of space. An awful sort of openness inside me, just waiting to fill with everlasting love for the very same man who’d done such bad things to me.
I squeezed my eyes closed, blocking out the light. Heaven forbid I’d actually fallen in love with a man I could never take home to meet my family. Who would never survive in society. Who would change my destiny from the successful career and cruisey existence I had planned into one full of arguments, complications, and a whole valley full of issues.
I scrambled out of my blankets.
He made love to me like he’s been waiting for me his entire life.
I stalked across the conservatory, forcing myself to remember other things.
He threw me in a basement.
He has a strangling problem.
But he’s different now.
He’s changing...
I threw myself into the downstairs bathroom and slammed the door. I wished there was a mirror and not an empty frame. I wanted to glare into my eyes and ensure I understood all the ramifications of my stupid, stupid heart.
Breathing hard, I muttered under my breath, “If you allow this to happen, that’s it, Gem. No going back. You’re in this for however long it takes to heal him. You’re signing up for pain. For heartache. For potential death if he snaps and you’re not ready to fight. He’s not normal. Who knows if he will ever be normal. He’s been a slave, for God’s sake. He’s scarred to hell, inside and out. What on earth makes you think you’re qualified to help him?”
Because I love him.
All my fight vanished.
Dammit.
Just...ugh.
With shaky hands, I grabbed the peach dress I’d placed there the other night. I’d raided a few clothes from guest wardrobes and placed the ones I could tolerate wearing in here so I didn’t have to keep venturing into those hellholes.
At least the dress was easy to slip into, pulling over my head instead of fighting with skirts and leggings with the chain around my ankle.
That damn chain has got to go.
The expensive material grazed my nipples and belly as it fell to my knees, granting another memory of last night.
Kas kissing me.
His cock claiming me.
And just like that, I was wet and achy, and I had to see him. I couldn’t stand another minute alone, wondering if I was the only idiot who’d fallen in love last night or if he’d suffered the same life-altering affliction.
Slipping into a pair of stolen tennis shoes, wriggling my toes to ensure they wouldn’t pinch, I balled my hands and stormed from the bathroom and cut across the foyer. Sunlight shone from the skylight, little islands of shadow dotting the marble tile from the wildflower clumps above.
The gutters needed cleaning. The firewood needed gathering. The food needed prepping. So many tasks for winter that hadn’t meant anything to me before but now meant the world because no way in hell was I going to let Kas die on me.
If he said those tasks were urgent, then we would start them today. Right now. Together.
Full of nerves and jittery energy, I practically ran into the library.
And I slammed to a stop, surveying the carnage.
Oh, dear...
The plates I’d been carrying when I’d found Kas writhing on the floor, bellowing about snowflakes and someone named Levin, were smashed into pieces all over the place. The fried pieces of rabbit that I’d so painstakingly gutted, filleted, and rubbed in flour—a disgusting job and one I never wanted to repeat—were discarded where they’d landed. Spinach had smooshed into the carpet, leaving green stains in the richly dyed fabric. And the honey that I’d claimed from the rapidly dwindling supply in the pantry had oozed out of its ramekin and splattered up the wall.
Oh God, the wall.
Blood stained the intricate wallpaper with shreds hanging like tassels by the light switch. Kas’s howls of despair as he’d attacked it last night echoed in my ears. The absolute misery in his stare. The tears he’d shed. The look of dumbstruck awe as I’d sunk down upon him and felt, not like a woman who’d been taken against her will, but a woman who had the power to save someone who could become her everything.
Tears sprang to my eyes, despite my orders not to.
I love him.
It’s done.
Just yesterday, I still cursed the earth he walked upon. But now, I stood on that same earth and was thankful that he existed. That I’d found him before it was too late.
“It’s not fair,” I whispered to the room.
It wasn’t fair that he’d turned out to be so, so...perfect.
So wretchedly perfect all while being chained up with—
“You’re awake.” His voice licked over my skin, spinning me to face the doorway.