“How many?” Julio shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. We should go.”
“Go where?” Helen asked.
That was Lucifer’s cue. “If you go anywhere on Earth, they’ll just follow. Chase poor Helen here until, during a struggle as she resists capture, she is ‘accidentally’ killed, her spirit sent to the great beyond.” Lucifer flung a hand, and sparkles erupted for effect. No one admired his excellent theatrics. Nope. Julio and Helen only had eyes for themselves.
Selfish fuckers.
Julio’s cloak wrapped around Helen protectively. “Let’s go somewhere.”
“You still haven’t said where,” she reminded.
“I’d get going if I were you, before they have the place completely shut down.” Lucifer waited.
Julio tried to do his thing. “Why can’t I open a portal?”
“Because they’re jamming your signal.” Lucifer shrugged. “Guess you waited too long.”
“Fucking great. Now what are we supposed to do? Jump out the window?” Julio snapped.
“I can fly us to safety,” Helen offered.
“I doubt you’ll get far. They have someone stationed on the roof.” Lucifer couldn’t stand the anticipation as they slowly came to the realization they were fucked.
“Then we’ll use the emergency stairs,” Julio suggested.
“Too late. Tick. Tock. Time is almost up.” Lucifer held up a massive pocket watch on a chain of tiny skulls.
Julio’s jaw clenched as he muttered, “Could you help us rather than taunt?”
“Help? I’m the devil. I don’t just do things for nothing.”
“How about if I owe you a favor?” Julio offered.
“Now you’re talking. But I want a favor from her, too.” Lucifer pointed.
“I won’t—” The cloak slapped over her mouth as Julio answered for her, “Helen agrees.”
Lucifer heaved a long sigh. “A Dark Lord’s work is never done. Lucky for you, thwarting Heaven is my jam. Here’s what we need to do.” He told them his brilliant plan. They both said no.
A knock came at the door. along with a bellowed, “By order of Charlie, Elyon’s only true and recognized son, open this door and hand over the rebel known as Helen.”
The next time Lucifer posed his question, “Who wants to get married?” they both said, “I do.”
15
Married. A concept Helen had only ever read about. Because angels didn’t do that. They didn’t marry or have friendships. Angels didn’t do so many things.
Angels most certainly never let the devil convince them to let him preside over a ceremony that bound her to Julio, making him her husband. As his wife, she became a de facto citizen of Hell.
She’d have laughed if she could have overcome her shock.
“Congratulations, you may kiss the bride,” the devil said with a wink.
Julio might have been gruff when he said, “I do,” but his kiss was soft.
The pounding on the door was hard.
“Good luck, newlyweds,” the devil interrupted. “Gotta go. Can’t be seen on Earth meddling.”
Lucifer left as the door was kicked open and angels spilled in, led by one she recognized. The male angel who’d started this fiasco.
The angel pointed with his sword. “Surrender.”
Julio shifted until Helen was shielded by his body, the edge of his cloak whispering over her. “She’s not going anywhere with you, asshole.”
“Stand aside, reaper. This is Heaven’s business. We have a warrant for her arrest.”
Julio shook his head. “Guess again. You and your band of feathery sycophants have no authority over a denizen of Hell.”
“She’s not been judged fallen. Not yet,” the angel snapped. “Until she is, move aside, or I will—”
“What, fathead? What do you think you’ll do, exactly?” Julio’s cloak had turned into a tumultuous, roiling storm of shadow. He loomed, giving the impression of massive size.
The angel sneered. “You would defy Heaven’s emissary?” The guy lifted his hand and curled his fingers. “Cut the reaper down and take the woman.”
“Touch my wife and you’ll die.” Julio uttered the statement as a solemn promise.
“She married you?” Disbelief followed by disdain. “You lie.”
“I assure you, we are married.”
She still couldn’t believe it. Maybe if they’d had time for another kiss…
“Doesn’t matter if you’re married. She is under arrest.”
“Actually, Theodore, it does matter.” A woman suddenly appeared in a fog of dark blue that settled into a business suit. She wore a severe expression as she faced down the angel. “Hello, I’m Kourtney, Grim Dating’s legal counsel, here to explain why you cannot lay a hand on the new Mrs. Julio Reaper. You are hereby being reminded that Mrs. Reaper, as a result of her binding marriage to Julio Reaper, is now a citizen of Hell with all the rights and protections afforded that stature.”
“So what if she married a reaper?” Theodore sneered. “You do realize it’s just more proof she deserves arrest and punishment. The rules are clear. Angels may not consort with minions of Hell.”
“A fallen angel can,” Kourtney pointed out.
“Only she never stood trial and was never cast out,” Theodore argued. “She broke our laws before the marriage. She will be tried for her crimes. It could be that instead of being cast down she is allowed to do penance.”
Kourtney didn’t back down. “You want her, then you’ll have to file an extradition request.”
“Or I can just take her now,” Theodore threatened, taking a step forward.
Kourtney shook her head. “You really don’t want to do that. There are rules you have to follow. Part of the treaty between Heaven and Hell signed after the hundred-year war. It says you can’t take a citizen of Hell without going through the proper channels.”
Theodore bristled with rage and raised his sword. “I don’t listen to demons.”
“Oh, you really don’t want to do that,” Julio admonished.
From nowhere a shadowy shape appeared and spread at Kourtney’s back. From it a voice boomed, “You would threaten my woman?”
Theodore glared at the newly arrived reaper. “This is Heaven’s business.”
“You don’t want to fuck with me.”
The reaper loomed, and Kourtney turned a smile on the spreading shadow and said, “Thanks, but I got this, Dwayne.”
“Just making sure he realizes he can’t threaten you.”
Dwayne settled down, and Kourtney turned back to Theodore just as he said, “No one will be harmed if you stand aside.”
“You want Helen, then you will abide by the contract. Any move on your part to take her by force will constitute a violation, and I will file a formal complaint.”
“We should report this to Michael and see what he wants to do,” said an angel at Theodore’s back.
“I am not leaving without her.” Theodore just wouldn’t give up.