What the fuck was happening in Elyon’s kingdom?
“You can’t hand her over. If I’d have known she could be in danger, I wouldn’t have left her alone!” Julio simmered. Even Helen’s hand on his arm didn’t calm him. The reaper had a soft spot for the angel. “Why didn’t you warn me the angels could bribe someone?”
“You made the mistake of assuming the angels had scruples. They are masters when it comes to manipulating the rules to suit themselves.”
“Meaning she’s not safe and will need better protection.” Julio eyed Lucifer so he had to set him straight.
“Do I look like a fucking bodyguard?” the devil asked softly.
“No, Dark Lord.” Julio dipped his head.
“Even if I were to assign a legion for her protection, it wouldn’t be enough. The angels have made it clear they want Helen back.”
“Too bad, so sad. Not happening,” Julio stated.
“What about what Helen wants?” The devil turned to her. “Tell me, little angel, do you want to go back to Heaven? You still can.”
Her lips parted. “Go home?”
“They’ll kill her.” Julio huffed.
“Why does it matter to you what happens to her?” the devil asked, and he wasn’t the only one who stared at Julio for an answer.
Julio lifted his chin. “It matters ’cause she’s my wife. And I’ll not let anyone reap her soul.”
Helen liked the answer enough her arms went around Julio’s midsection and she hugged him. Julio’s arm and cloak curled around her protectively.
“Tell us what we can do to keep Helen safe.” Julio fell into Lucifer’s trap.
Wearing his finest salesman smile, Lucifer said, “I’m glad you asked, because I have an idea that helps us both. Your problem is you need to go somewhere no one can find you, and lucky you, I know just the place.”
With a theatrical swirl that got no love, Lucifer had them standing in what remained of the eighth ring, now only a few strides wide. The fog creeping and stealing land showed no signs of slowing.
Was it time to check on the source of the issue himself? To venture into the mist that none returned from?
Nah. That was what minions existed for.
Julio took one look at the roiling fog and shook his head. “You want us to go in there? Are you fucking nuts? I’ve heard no one who enters ever comes out.”
Lucifer shrugged. “Thus far it’s been an issue, but given you’re both special, and determined, I know you can fix it.”
“Why the fuck would I agree to a suicide mission?” Julio snapped.
“Because if you succeed in finding and stopping this fog that’s eating my kingdom, I’ll bestow upon your angel my official Satanic blessing and solve your Heaven problem.”
“Why not just give it to her?”
“Because you mistake me for someone benevolent and kind. You scratch my hairy back, I’ll scratch yours. Piss me off, and I’ll set you on fire. Not to mention, you both owe me a favor, and I’m calling it.”
Helen ventured to ask, “Is it dangerous?”
“Undoubtedly.” Lucifer smiled, his best shark version. “No one has returned yet, but I believe in you.” One of these times when he said it, it would actually be true.
“Fuck you. You have no idea what’s in there.” Julio bristled.
Helen tilted her face to look at Julio. “You don’t have to go.”
“If we don’t, then you’ll be hunted.”
“Exactly. It’s me they’re after. Maybe I should just turn myself in,” Helen offered.
Lucifer almost gagged at the martyr act. It pissed off Julio, too.
“Shut up, Curls.” Julio growled. “I’ll handle this.”
Wrong choice of words.
Lucifer conjured some popcorn to watch the fireworks as Helen found her spine and said, “I won’t shut up. Because, apparently, I don’t have to. That fog is too dangerous. I won’t have you hurt because of me.”
Lucifer took a sip of soda and a bite of licorice as she called Julio’s bravery into question.
“You think I’m afraid?” Julio’s cloak swirled in agitation. “I fear nothing. I’m already dead. It’s just a mist.”
“If it’s so benign, then why are you refusing to enter it?” Lucifer taunted, joining the argument.
Julio glared. “I was busting your balls.”
“Not very well. Didn’t feel a thing,” Lucifer declared. A good ball busting would have had him cringing. Gaia knew how to have them hurting so good. He’d miss her when the babies sent her over sanity’s edge. It had happened before, although with Muriel, it took a few years before she snapped. Mother Nature didn’t handle postpartum very well.
“If I go into this fucking fog, will you go the fuck away?” barked Julio.
“You really need to work on your ass-kissing skills because my hairy buttocks are not feeling any love. And you should really make up your minds because this”—the devil held up a cellphone that rang stridently—“is Heaven calling again and one guess as to what they’re going to demand.” The phone calls always started with a demand for Lucifer’s capitulation to Heaven. He’d refuse, it would get ugly, and usually it ended in Heaven hanging up with the angel on the other end claiming they needed to bleach their ears.
Julio sliced a hand through the air. “We’re not handing Helen to the angels. Or going into that deadly fog. Have you never read that Stephen King short story titled ‘The Mist’?”
“Saw the movie and the miniseries. Do you think he’s behind it?” Lucifer brightened at the thought. He did so love a good horror story.
“I don’t think we have a choice,” Helen softly said. She glanced at the mist. “I guess the question is, will the fog kill us?”
“I don’t know.” Lucifer shrugged. “Let’s ask my eight ball.” He pulled it from a pocket and gave it a shake. “Looking cloudy with a chance of showers.”
“Could you give a straight answer for once?” Julio grumbled. “I’d just like to know if I’m going to die in the next thirty seconds.”
Lucifer shrugged. “No idea. I can’t see inside that space. It’s hidden from me. You might stop existing the moment you step in, fall into a pond of liquid shit, or you could end up in paradise.”
“And this is supposed to convince us to go in?” was Julio’s sarcastic drawl.
Helen grabbed Julio’s hand. “I have faith.”
“In what? And if you say your Father…” Julio threatened.
Her lips twisted in wry amusement. “I was going to say I have faith in you, in us.”
Julio sighed. “Fuck me, we’re an us. Guess we’re doing this together. Ready, wife?”
She nodded.
“Let’s go.”
Julio pulled her into the mist, and Lucifer could sense them no more.
Fuck a duck.
He really hoped they hadn’t bitten the dust.
21
A good thing Julio held on to Helen, because two steps in and they were enveloped. Smothered head to toe in fog, sightless, soundless. The falling ash stopped. Only mist loomed all around, and he’d have sworn it cried out, which was really disturbing even to someone like him. It was solid underfoot, and yet he couldn’t clearly see the ground. The smoky air covered it.