I go to step inside, but Breslin stands in front of the door, blocking me from entering.
We aren’t friends, but I thought we were past the hostility.
Evidently not.
“I don’t know what your issue is, and I don’t really care. I just want to see my wife.”
Breslin stands firm. “Kit isn’t here.”
That’s…unsettling. “Where is sh—”
White-hot pain spikes through my balls and I crouch over. “What the fuck?”
“If you ever go near Kit again, I’ll take a machete to them.”
To say I’m puzzled would be putting it mildly. I know she hasn’t been the biggest fan of our relationship, but this is straight-up bullshit.
“Go near her again? Are you out of your fucking mind? She’s my wife—”
Sharp shooting pain slams into my nuts for the second time.
When I keel over, Breslin takes the opportunity to slam the door. It hits my head with a force that makes my teeth hurt.
“Fuck!”
Rage punches through my chest and I bang on the door. If this bitch thinks she can keep me away from Kit, she’s three fries short of a goddamn Happy Meal.
Fortunately, it’s Asher who answers this time.
“Where the fuck is my wife?”
Eyes narrowing, he crosses his arms. “I told you not to hurt her.”
Christ. He’s smoking the same shit Breslin is.
“I would never—”
“You goddamn liar!” Breslin shouts behind him, looking like she’s gearing up to attack me again. “We saw you at the park with Becca.”
The words invade my ears and travel through me like a bullet, causing every bodily function of mine to shut down.
Asher’s saying something, but I don’t hear a word of it.
All I can focus on is Kit.
And how much she’s hurting right now.
Because of me.
I wanted to be the one to tell her.
It should have been me.
“Where is she?”
I swear to God if he doesn’t fucking tell me, I will kill him.
His shoulders slump. “I don’t know.”
I’m not fucking around. I will wrap my hands around his throat and squeeze until he gives me her location.
“Bullshit.”
“It’s not,” he defends. “Breslin won’t tell me anything.” Guilt slashes his face. “She called Mom and found out I was lying about her being in town.”
I flick my gaze to Breslin because that’s his shitstorm to deal with. I have my own to handle.
“Tell me where she is. Now.”
I always swore I’d never hit a woman, but I will straight-up punt her ass across the goddamn lawn if she doesn’t start talking.
Her furious stare locks with mine. “You’ve always been the most selfish person on the planet, but I actually believed you cared about her.”
“I do—”
“Cut the shit, asshole. If you truly cared, you never would have done that to her. Ever.” She wedges herself in front of my brother. “I’m not telling you a damn thing. Now get the fuck off my property before I call the police.”
With that, she slams the door and locks it.
I strike the wood so hard my knuckles bleed. “Give me my damn dog.”
“No!” she screams from the other side. “You lost him, too.”
Blood rushes through my ears and I grip the doorframe.
I’m not losing her.
I just have to find out where the fuck she is so I can tell her everything.
I take off running when it dawns on me.
There’s only one person who keeps tabs on her.
Chapter 38
Kit
The private bungalow suite my Nanna booked is huge. It has a luxury bathroom, a giant bed in the loft upstairs, a living room, and its own separate entrance.
It also has a gorgeous view of the ocean.
Gripping the railing of the balcony with one hand and clutching my cocktail glass with the other, I peer down. There’s a tiki bar set up on the beach below, along with a DJ and a dance floor.
The sounds of people having fun fill my ears and my eyes drift to a man who’s twirling a woman around the dance floor. Every time he pulls her close, he kisses her, and she smiles like she can’t get enough of it.
A few feet away there’s a different man with his arms wrapped around a woman as they snuggle in a lounge chair. He’s whispering something in her ear that has her clutching him tight…like she wants to spend every waking moment right there in his arms.
Across the way from them, I spot two men grabbing a drink at the bar. After the bartender serves them, they click their glasses and kiss. They’re both wearing T-shirts that say, Just Married and it’s obvious they’re having a great time on their honeymoon.
There once was a time when seeing happy couples would have me longing to find my own soul mate.
Someone who wouldn’t let me crash.
But not anymore.
Because now, I know the truth.
Falling in love is never worth it.
Because if the fall alone doesn’t kill you…the inevitable heartbreak will.
The stove was hot, and I knew it would burn.
But I touched it anyway.
And now the organ in my chest is being cremated.
As it should…because it no longer works.
I bring the glass to my lips and take a sip. The tart taste of cranberry mixed with vodka hits my tongue and I wish room service would stop taking forever so I can add more liquor to it.
Numb out the pain.
Then again, I don’t need alcohol to do that.
He once told me illusions were your mind’s way of saving you when reality kept trying to break you. A way of giving you something to believe in when you didn’t have anything left.
I think I understand what he meant now.
My reality is full of pain and despair…but my illusion can be whatever I want it to be.
And right now? I choose to pretend that my heart is still intact.
That I’m strong enough to get through this.
That Preston Holden didn’t break me.
The sound of someone knocking pulls me from my thoughts.
I race down the stairs because I know there’s a bottle of vodka with my name on it chilling on ice.
I eagerly swing open the door. “About ti—”
Words die in my throat because room service isn’t on the other side.
He is.
Chapter 39
Preston
As always, Nanna Satan was a pleasure to deal with.
After hitting me with her notebook a few times, she told me to go fuck myself with a rusty screwdriver and choke on some poker chips.
Or rather, she had Reggie tell me that.
Eventually, she caved, though and told me where Kit was. Hawaii.
I didn’t enjoy the twelve-hour flight crammed between two people while hearing a baby cry bloody murder nonstop…but it was worth it to be in the same vicinity as her again.
I’ve had a lot of time to think on the plane, and even though I know what I did was wrong…I also know Kit. Her heart is as big and deep as the ocean. Once I tell her about Jameson, she’ll understand.