“I agree. We can turn one of the extra rooms into a nursery and nix the whole expanding thing for now,” Lux declares, clapping her hands together. Juno and I stare at her with wide eyes. “What? You don’t like that idea?” She starts to fidget with her hair.
“Lux, what are you saying?” Juno demands, and Lux bites her lip to hide a smile.
“I was going to tell everyone at Sunday dinner, but I can’t wait any longer. I’m pregnant!” she announces.
“Oh my gosh!” Juno is jumping up and down. “Me too!”
“What?” Lux and I both shout at the same time. Holy crap, I’m going to be an aunt.
A deep longing hits me, and even though I know it’s too soon for babies, Luca and I haven't exactly been careful about using protection. If anything, we’ve been ignoring it completely. Luca knows what it could lead to, but we’ve never talked about children. I’m not sure he’s ready for something like that with how much he’s invested in his work.
We lie in bed for hours talking every night. I know so much about him, but the mention of kids has never been there. My stomach starts to turn, and a queasy feeling takes over.
“This is so awesome,” Juno says with a smile lighting up her face. “We get to be preggo together.” They both go in for a hug.
“Now it’s your turn,” Lux declares, narrowing her eyes on me.
“I don’t think your brother is ready for all that,” I say, and Lux scrunches her nose.
“The way he is with you is nothing like I’ve ever seen before. What he wants might surprise you. I know everything I thought I wanted changed when I met Bastian.” Lux grabs my hand and gives it a squeeze.
“Is there a chance you could be pregnant already?” Juno asks. How the hell does she keep seeing right through me?
“I suppose.” I give a shrug, not wanting to get excited about something that isn't happening.
“Only one way to find out.” Lux pulls my hand and makes me go with her, not giving me a choice but to follow after her.
“Now?” My heart starts to race, and I’m not sure I’m ready to even find out.
“Why not now?” Juno pushes as we pass the realtor waiting at the front of the office.
“We’ll take it,” Lux tells the realtor as she keeps ushering me out the building.
Before I know it, I’m standing in Lux’s master bathroom with a stick in my hand, waiting to see if little blue lines pop up. It only takes a second before we see the lines staring back at me, and both Lux and Juno start cheering. I’m too shocked to join them. Motherhood wasn't something I thought would be in my future, but just like Luca, it came out of nowhere.
“You okay?” Juno asks when they realize I’m not cheering with them.
“It’s a lot, but I’m happy.” I put my hand on my stomach and all I can think about is what Luca is going to say.
“What are you ladies doing in th—” My brother trails off when he sees us all standing in the bathroom with our eyes filled with tears. He sees what I’m holding and then he walks straight to me and pulls me in for a hug.
“I know, I miss her too,” he says, knowing I’m thinking about Mom not being here for this. He kisses the top of my head, and I nod.
“She’d be so excited that we’re both having babies at the same time,” I manage to say.
“She would.” He smiles down at me, and although there’s always the ache of missing her, it’s not as awful as it once was. So much new love has come into my life and has filled up my heart and soul that I choose to remember the joy I shared with her instead of the pain of losing her.
“Everyone keep a lid on it. I’m going to tell Luca tonight when he gets back.” Both Lux and Juno pretend to zip their mouths and throw away the keys. “I’ve got to get going. I have a few things I want to do before Luca gets home tonight.” An idea is already forming in my mind on how I’m going to tell him.
I give everyone a hug goodbye before I’m heading back to my place. Luca went out of town yesterday and is supposed to be back tonight. The last few times he’s had a trip, I actually went with him, but today I needed to check out the office space. I think a part of me wanted him to see that I won’t always be able to go with him on trips.
He took a couple weeks off after his trip to Houston, but now he’s back at work. What will it be like when I can't travel with him at all? I heard Lux say he’s out of town more than he’s ever home, and she can go weeks without seeing or hearing from him.
An uneasy feeling starts to settle in when I enter my place. Slowly more and more of Luca’s things have been popping up over here. It’s nice seeing them around, but there’s so much that’s unsaid between us.
He’s teased and said we’re getting married, but that’s about it. There have been no I love yous or the question of moving in together. Last night was the first night we actually slept apart. It sucked because I’ve already grown used to him in bed with me. I hadn't given all of this much thought until now, and we’re about to have a baby.
I go into the bedroom to find something sexy to wear for tonight. I’m going to make him some pancakes for dinner with my own little message written out on them. As I start to get ready, the worry melts away and the excitement starts to rise. We can make this work. I know how Luca feels even if he hasn’t put it into words yet.
My phone rings, and I see Luca’s name pop up. I answer it, thinking he must have landed early.
“Hey.”
“Miss you, baby” are the first words out of his mouth.
“I miss you too.” We passed out on the phone together last night.
“Fuck, I hate this, but I have to make a trip down to Texas. A deal that fell through for me has come back up. They want to sign the contract now.”
“Okay,” I say because what else can I say?
“I swear, I’ll be quick.”
“I get it. Your work is important to you.”
“Shit, they’re calling my flight. I’ll call you when I land.”
“Bye.” I quickly end the call and wipe away my tears.
I’m getting a taste of what marriage will be like for Luca. I know I’m being a bit dramatic, but I’m going to blame it on my hormones.
I abandon the kitchen, not bothering to put away all the crap I pulled out for the pancakes. My heart and head fight an inner battle, making me feel lost. When I lie down on the bed, I rest my hand over my stomach and close my eyes.
No matter what happens tomorrow, everything is going to change.
Chapter Twelve
Luca
It’s so fucking late by the time I make it back to Selma. I didn’t want to stay a second longer in Houston than I needed to, and after things finally finished, I got on the first flight out of there.
Unfortunately that flight had two layovers with one getting pushed back three times. I couldn’t get anyone to charter me out of there, so I was at the mercy of everyone else. I was so impatient, but I also knew as soon as I got back to Selma things would be changing.
The lights are off in her place, but when I get to the bedroom I see it’s empty. “Selma?” I look around and in the bathroom, but she’s not there, and worry takes the place of surprise. Just in case, I open the guest room and I breathe a sigh of relief when I find her there in the middle of the bed.