I nod. Because that’s basically how it was.
“I never thought I felt much of anything for my family,” Jaxon says as he looks down at his hands in his lap. “We’re all so screwed up and always making bad decisions. But with everything going on, I…” He shakes his head as he looks up and stares off into the distance. “I guess I had more loyalty to them than I ever realized.”
“That’s not such a bad thing,” I say softly as I lace my fingers into his hair.
He looks over at me, and I’m not sure he agrees from the expression in his eyes.
“Let’s get out of here,” I say, changing the subject. “I need something to eat or I’m going to die. And we need to get ready for your mother’s party.”
“I think it’s supposed to be our party,” Jaxon says, raising an eyebrow as he lifts my hands to his lips. He presses them to the ring he placed on my finger. “It’s supposed to be to celebrate us, Mrs. Gray.”
A wave of goosebumps flash over my entire body at the title. It snags in my lower stomach.
And I can’t hold myself back. I crawl over the center console, pushing him back as I straddle his lap, and take his lips as my own.
Serena Gray.
I can’t even remember my actual last name.
But I’ll take this one. So what if it came from Vivian originally? It’s Jaxon’s name. And I’ll bind myself to him for forever and ever.
Chapter Sixteen
Jaxon grips my hand tightly in his as we walk down the hall. A little too tight. It gives away his nerves.
So I tighten my own grip and look over at him just once as we pause in front of the doors. I lean forward and kiss him, trying to communicate that I will be there for him, through every uncomfortable second of the night.
He takes a deep breath as he looks back at the doors, and then he steps forward and pulls them open.
I lose my breath just a little bit.
The floors are white marble, so shiny I know I’d see right up my own dress if I looked hard enough. The walls are a stark white with scrolls and sconces making them intricate. The ceiling is just as detailed with inlaid woodwork crisscrossing the entire thing. Crystal chandeliers hang everywhere, casting shards of colorful light throughout the space.
There are tables set up throughout the left half of the ballroom. Black tablecloths are on them, white padded chairs pushed up beneath them. Crystals that look similar to the ones hanging from the chandeliers are laid out on the tables, and at the center of each one is a bouquet of black and white calla lilies.
An actual string quartet is set up in one corner of the room, and they play soothing wedding music.
It’s almost comical. Every single person here is dressed in black.
Is this a wedding party, or a funeral?
“Why did you make me wear this dress again?” I ask between gritted teeth.
Jaxon leans over and brushes his nose up the length of my jawline. “Because you look amazing in it,” he says in a low tone. “Which might have been a mistake on my part. Because now all I want to do is tear it off.”
Except there’s no way it can go that far. Because even now, the heat rises in his hand, and it’s so hot I can barely keep my hold on it.
Still, that doesn’t keep him from bringing one hand up to the side of my neck and kissing me. I sigh and his mouth opens to mine. I forget where I am. I forget why we are here. I only feel his hot hands on my neck and at the lower part of my back. It’s just my hands gripping the front of his white shirt, dragging him closer to me.
I’m wearing a white dress. It’s a party dress, not a wedding one, but still, it’s pure white. The straps are thin and delicate, and the bodice is well fitted to my frame, a fact that I’ve caught Jaxon appreciating many times since I tried it on. It hugs my waist and hips before fanning out in a ruffle. It’s long in the back, but splits up the face of my left thigh.
We’re really lucky that the remaining scorch marks on my body are in places that cannot be seen currently.
Jaxon topped the ensemble off with a choker necklace that looks like it dangerously might be crusted in real diamonds.
I’d tried to tell him it was all too much, even though secretly I’d loved it. But he couldn’t stop smiling like a fool, and I just couldn’t tell him no.
So here I am, in all my white dress glory. And somehow, I let him get away with only wearing a pair of black slacks and a white button up. I get some satisfaction though that he rolled up the sleeves to his forearms and left the top three buttons undone.
“You might need to pace yourselves this evening,” Vivian’s voice cuts through our lusty haze. “Or there will be no oxygen left in this ballroom for the rest of us.”
I break back from Jaxon with a bit of a gasp, needing some of said oxygen. I brush my hand over my mouth, slightly embarrassed at being caught with such dirty thoughts tumbling around in my head.
“Mother,” Jaxon acknowledges her as he steps back, but retains my hand in his. “This looks great. Thank you.”
He’s saying nice words, but I can feel his temperature rising. If he’s not careful, I’m going to get burned, and it’s going to show.
“I just wanted to show my love and excitement for my son and my new daughter,” Vivian says. She wears a small smile, but her eyes are hollow. She looks like an evil demonic goddess right now. She wears an elegant black dress that reaches the floor. It could absolutely pass as a wedding dress, if not for the color. I think maybe she’s trying to upstage me. I’m supposed to be the bride here.
“You look lovely, Vivian,” I say with a tight smile. “That dress must have cost a fortune.”
She looks down, and I think maybe she realizes I’m on to her. She just smiles and takes in my own dress.
It’s simple, but not a single man has been able to keep his eyes off me since I walked in.
“As do you, my dear,” she says. The words are just a little tight. “Come. There are a lot of people who want to congratulate you.”
I glance over at Jaxon. He loops my hand through his arm, showing off as the perfect gentleman, and nods. Together, we follow after Vivian.
Names and faces are spinning through my head. I’m introduced to at least thirty people before the dinner even starts. There are associates and old friends. There are other women who glare at me like I’ve stolen an elusive piece of candy from them. It’s obvious Jaxon has been pursued by all of them and received no reciprocated interest. By the time dinner is announced, I’m already overwhelmed.
“You’re amazing,” Jaxon breathes as we walk toward our table at the head of the room. “You’re stuck in a room full of shylocks and known gangsters, and you haven’t backed down once. Are you even real? I’m pretty sure I pulled you straight out of my darkest fantasy.”
I smile as I look up at him as we round our table. “Apparently I have an impressive poker face. I haven’t been around or talked to this many people in over a hundred years. It’s…draining.”
Jaxon raises my hand to his lips and kisses it. “Trust me, Serena. You’re perfect.”
My chest heats, but I have to keep it in check, because every member of the Gray family comes to join us at the banquet table before the crowd.