Chapter One
Please come back to me, I beg in my head, over and over and over again.
Jaxon roars savagely in the vault. His entire body is consumed by flames and light. He glows so brilliantly, I can barely stand to look at him, and my eyes have been adjusting to it for the past sixteen days. His body shimmers with flames, though the literal heat of his shift has burned out. The temperature of his skin can rise now, but the only ones he can actually burn now, is us darklings.
His hands raise to his hair, his fingers lacing in it. He presses in on his head as if he is in pain, and I think he really is in pain.
I think.
I’ve never witnessed this before. I’ve never seen an ultralight manifest. When I first manifested as a darkling, it had been terrifying, but it had felt amazing.
Maybe the shift into an ultralight is different.
“Serena,” a voice calls from down the tunnel. My eyes shift to the right to see Davorian. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself,” he says. He’s still angry with me. I think he still believes that if he hadn’t let me and Jaxon leave the day he began to manifest, that I wouldn’t have fallen in love with him. He’s wrong. “You can’t keep standing there, watching him day after day. You need to go out for a while.”
My eyes shift back to Jaxon, locked inside the vault.
It’s been sixteen days since Jaxon manifested. Since we had one last perfect day. Since he and I shared a soul-fusing kiss in a parking garage. Since his lips and his hands burned me. Since all the others knew the truth of what was going on between us.
It's been sixteen days that I have watched the man I’ve fallen for burn in a never-ending inferno of light and flames.
Jaxon looks up at me now, his eyes glowing sonic white. I see confusion in them. I see conflict.
His gaze says he wants to kill me, that he would if he weren’t locked up.
But I see that he’s fighting that urge with everything he has.
At least he isn’t trying to melt the glass anymore. At least he isn’t throwing himself at it anymore, trying with every ounce of his new, supernatural strength to break through.
He’s fighting it.
But not once, even for a few moments, has he been able to shift back into his human form. Sure, he’s surrounded by darklings, but he hasn’t gained control over his ultralight instincts, even for a second.
“You need a break, Serena,” Davorian repeats. I didn’t realize he’d walked to my side until I feel his hand on my shoulder. It’s firm. It tells me that this isn’t just a suggestion. It’s an order.
“Fine,” I say, my jaw clenching. I stare at Jaxon, holding his gaze.
I barely recognize him.
He watches me with more confusion as I walk down the hall.
In the last two weeks, more and more darklings have been arriving. There are now thirty-one of us back here in the compound. Where once it felt empty, lonely, considering the hundreds this place could house, it actually feels incredibly crowded now. The bunkroom is full of agents, others take up space in the washroom, others taking over the kitchen.
I should be glad. In a way, I am. I’m with my kind.
But I find myself…irritated. Suffocated.
This spider has gotten used to being on her own.
I pop my head into the kitchen, and I’m in luck. Or maybe I just know him well. Renwick is grabbing something from the snack cupboard.
“Hey,” I say, and he glances over his shoulder. “I need your help for a bit. You up for a trip into the city?”
He rips the bag open with his teeth and spits the plastic into the trash. “Sure.”
I see it in his eyes, he’s feeling a little claustrophobic, too.
I retrieve my keys from my room, and we head for the tunnel.
I breathe my shadows out when I reach the end of the tunnel. My willowy legs spring forth, smoke taking over my skin. It’s a relief. I haven’t shifted in over two weeks now. I can’t remember the last time I went that long between shifts.
The both of us climb up the tunnel, working our way through its twists and turns. The heat intensifies as we climb. I should have bothered to look what time of day it is.
When we exit out the tunnel, the sun is blazing high above our heads. I’m already sweating the second I shift back.
“I hate this place,” Renwick says as we walk over to my car, which is still parked at an odd angle from when Jaxon and I made our frantic race through the desert to get here before he manifested.
Renwick’s motorcycle is parked next to it. He retrieved it two weeks ago from my apartment.
“Yeah,” I say as I pull the driver’s door open, but it comes out halfhearted.
My feelings toward this city and this verse seem to have shifted a little recently.
I buckle up and turn the car around, pointing it back toward the dirt road.
"Considering we're timeless, I didn't think it would be quite this hard to get used to having so many people around again," Renwick says as we bounce over the rough terrain. "Everyone can hear everything in that place. Insulation wasn't such a thing back when we built in the eighteen-hundreds."
"It might not be so bad if you and Philomena knew what it meant to be quiet," I say with a smirk as I look over at him.
"I am what I am, Serena," he says with a smile. "When it's time for pleasure, being quiet just ruins it."
I shake my head. It feels good to smile. I haven't done it in a while now. It feels good to get out of my head, to get out of the compound, to stop staring at that vault twenty-four seven. Renwick has that effect. He can always make just about anyone smile.
"Vegas is going to be different with such a large population of darklings," he says, moving on. "I don't know how yet, but things won't be the same around here. You think those two ultralights that live here will stay?"
"They're good people, Ren," I say as I adjust my grip on the steering wheel. "We're lucky they are the way they are. We could have gotten a couple of assholes who would love nothing more than to give us hell every day. We need to make sure all the other darklings know to leave them alone. Now is not the time to stir up anything new when it comes to the ultralights."
"Ah, man," he says in mock defeat. "Things have gotten a little boring around here the last few weeks. I mean, we fought a couple of ultralights, you fell in love with one and made everyone hate you for a while. Things have gotten slow recently. I think we could all use a bit of entertainment, Serena."
Once more, I shake my head at him.
We reach the dirt road and I lay harder on the gas.
"Gotta say," he continues, moving on to a new topic, "I didn't expect this. I mean, I feel like all the darklings usually get control, at least a decent amount, within a week. That man of yours hasn't shifted back to his human form even once."
I grip the steering wheel even harder. My jaw clenches tight, threatening to crack my teeth. "Yeah, but none of us had to manifest with our mortal enemy surrounding us on every side."
"I'm not trying to make things worse," he says in a soft voice. "I'm just… I'm sorry. I know this isn't easy for you. The others might still be pissed, but they're obviously not paying attention. You're different, Serena. I don't know that I've ever seen you happy and I've known you for a really long time. But when you're with him, you're happy."