‘What an extraordinary start to your day,’ said Angela.
‘It was. And it was annoying too, because it meant I had to repeat my resignation to the school secretary. What about today’s classes? she asked. Bugger today’s classes, I told her. Bugger the classes, bugger the students, and bugger you! You should have seen her face! And then Martin Rice came out of his classroom, I suppose he must have heard the commotion, and asked what was going on, so I said I’d resigned and I knew full well that he was the person who’d got Sarah Wilmot from Year 10 pregnant, that he was responsible for the Code Purple.’
‘And was he?’ asked Angela. ‘If so, it’s a matter for the police.’
‘I have no idea. But I’ve had my suspicions, and he didn’t deny it, just went a little pale, and said that if I repeated that to anyone, then I’d be eating my dinner through a straw for the next six months, so I marched right up to him and punched him in the nose, and I think I must have broken it because there was blood everywhere. He doubled over and didn’t even fight back! That’s what you have to do with bullies, isn’t it? Beat them at their own game. The boys were delighted, of course. They all stood up on their desks and started shouting encouragement at me, like we were in the last scene of Dead Poets Society.’
‘Nelson,’ said Angela, sitting back in her chair and looking a little exhausted by the drama that he had related. ‘I do think this is something you might have discussed with me first. Major life decisions can have consequences that you wouldn’t imagine. You might wake up tomorrow and regret it.’
‘I won’t regret it,’ said Nelson confidently. ‘I knew exactly what I was doing and I’m glad that I saw it through. I’m only sorry that I can’t do it again. I hated that place. I hated the teachers, the pupils, the desks and the chairs. I hated the smell of disinfectant and sweat. I hated the fact that I’d spent so much of my life there.’ He thought about it for a moment. ‘And I hated the food. I really hated the food.’
‘Well, it’s a school, Nelson,’ replied Angela. ‘What did you expect, cordon bleu?’
‘Something digestible,’ he said. ‘No, I’m better off out of the place. I would have done someone an injury if I’d stayed any longer. Most likely myself.’
Angela sighed and scribbled a few things in her notebook.
‘What are you writing?’ asked Nelson.
‘Nothing for you to worry about.’
‘Still, I’d like to know. Is it about me?’
She looked up at him with a derisive expression on her face. ‘No, Nelson, it’s a reminder for me to pick up laundry detergent on the way home. Of course it’s about you. This is your session.’
‘There’s no need to be sarcastic,’ he said, feeling a little miffed. ‘That’s not very professional.’
‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘You’re quite right. I have to admit that I’m not feeling myself today.’
‘Is there anything you’d like to talk about? You do look a bit peaky, if you don’t mind my saying.’
‘Plenty of things,’ she replied. ‘Only not with you.’
‘I’m a good listener.’
‘You’re also my patient. And I’m your therapist. We don’t want to go down the transference and counter-transference route. So let’s stay on track, shall we? All right, you’ve quit your career. It’s an extreme action, but sometimes a person can just walk away from their job on the spur of the moment and it can prove to be the best decision of their life. But staying at home on your own every day isn’t going to fix your problems with women. Especially when you’re still living with your parents. One thing I wanted to talk to you about, in fact, is the possibility of you moving out. And perhaps persuading all your siblings to move out too. Letting your father live his own life without having to take care of you all.’
‘My parents, you mean,’ said Nelson. ‘My mother and my father.’
‘Well, sure,’ she said. ‘If that’s the way things go.’
‘It’s certainly on my agenda,’ he agreed. ‘And as for my problems with women, they’re completely fixed.’ He waved a hand in the air. ‘Nothing to worry about there at all.’
Angela tried not to laugh. ‘Just like that?’ she asked.
‘Just like that,’ he repeated, giving her his best Tommy Cooper impression.
‘So,’ said Angela. ‘You said that you enjoyed intimate relations last night?’
‘I did.’
‘And where did you meet your partner?’
‘At a speed-dating session. We struck up a conversation, went for a drink afterwards and there we are. Smash bang.’
Angela stared at him and had to admit to herself that he seemed to be both telling the truth and very happy about it.
‘Again, very sudden,’ she said. ‘Although, as we’ve said, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. May I ask what the girl’s name is?’
‘Shane,’ said Nelson.
‘Shane is a boy’s name.’
‘Yes, he’s a boy. Well, a man. I mean, he’s my age. Twenty-two.’
‘Right.’ Angela nodded and thought about this. ‘So you’re in a gay relationship?’
‘Labels, labels, labels,’ replied Nelson with a sigh. ‘Must we label everything? I’m in a relationship with someone I like and yes, he happens to be a man. I had sex with a man and really enjoyed it. Does that make me gay?’
‘It probably does, yes.’
‘Fine. Then yes. I guess I’m gay.’
‘Congratulations.’
‘Why are you congratulating me?’
‘On being gay.’
‘Is that something that’s worthy of congratulation?’
‘Well, on coming out, then.’
‘Right,’ he said. ‘Thanks, I suppose. Only I don’t know if I have literally come out, as you say, which is such an old-fashioned term, when you think about it.’
‘Quite. Well, you seem very happy. And that’s a positive thing.’
‘I’m a new man. So much so that when I was travelling here on the Tube, I struck up a conversation with a pretty girl and it went very smoothly. Had I wanted to ask her out, I’m sure I could have done so.’
‘And did you want to?’
‘Of course not. I’m gay now, remember?’
‘Yes. Sorry.’
‘Also, you may have noticed that I’m dressed as myself.’
‘I had noticed that, yes. And I’m very pleased.’
‘I feel like I’m cured.’
‘You certainly seem … altered,’ she admitted. ‘Meeting this Shane fellow has clearly done you the world of good. But I’d hesitate to say that you’re cured. Let’s just say that you’ve had a breakthrough. I’m glad that I’ve been helpful to you.’
‘Oh, it’s had nothing to do with you,’ said Nelson with a shrug. ‘No offence, but we barely know each other.’
‘Still. The breakthrough came on my watch, so to speak.’
He nodded. ‘If you need the validation, that’s fine. Take it.’