I knew he was right, and my voice came out a bit more defensive than I would have liked. “I was only trying to help.”
“I don’t want your help. I don’t want to be with a woman who thinks she’s my mommy,” he said. “What’s next? Are you going to start cutting my lunch into adorable little shapes, picking out my clothes, and making sure I eat all of my vegetables?”
I flinched. He had no idea that he was recounting what had gone wrong in both of my marriages. According to my exes, I tended to suffocate them, although in Jeremy’s case, I suspected he liked it that way.
“You’re supposed to be my partner, not my nanny,” he continued. “You don’t get to decide what I need, or how I’m supposed to live my life. It’s my life, not yours, and not anyone else’s.”
We glared at each other. This was not going to work for me. Maybe I did hover. Perhaps I was too invested in the men I loved. And sure, I probably was a lawnmower wife/girlfriend who tried to remove obstacles from the path of those I loved. So sue me!
“Is that it then? Is that your ultimatum and I’m supposed to fall in line?” I asked. “I’m just a secondary character in your life? Or are we going to talk about last night? About the Sunshine House or why you felt so compelled to help Emily, Elijah, and the baby? How about why seeing them triggered a massive panic attack for you?”
He looked taken aback as if it had never occurred to him that I might want to talk about this stuff. Men!
“No, we’re not talking about it,” he said. “None of that is relevant to us.”
“Really?” I asked. “I think it’s pretty damn relevant when the guy I’m seeing collapses in the middle of the street. I heard the EMT, Nick. He said you had a panic attack. It’s not just going to go away, and you can’t continue to live like this.” I gestured to the house. “You are so freaked out about having another stroke that you’re having panic attacks. You need to talk to someone, and if it isn’t going to be me, then maybe it can be your sister.”
“Is that how you see me?” he asked. “Some broken guy that you want to foist onto his sister because he’s too much to deal with?”
“I never said that,” I said. “But it’s pretty clear you have a lot of damage from your childhood that you need to figure out.”
“Says the woman who was married twice by the age of twenty-eight,” he said.
I sucked in a breath. That was a low blow.
“So now you’re going to weaponize my past and use it to hurt me?” I asked. His scorn cut more deeply than I was willing to show him. I’d thought we were better than this.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “That was out of line—much like you calling my sister.”
“If you’re expecting an apology, you’re in for a long wait,” I said. “She deserved to know.”
Yes, this was the hill I was prepared to die on. It was more important to me that Nick have someone in his life for the long term than to have me in the short term.
“Fine,” he said. He stood and walked to the door. He paused to scratch Sir between the ears and then he straightened up. “I guess we’re done here.”
“I guess we are,” I agreed. He closed the door very gently behind him.
I didn’t need it spelled out for me that we had just broken up. It was clear from the way my heart had just crinkled up like a piece of paper over a flame that we were through.
* * *
“You can’t be serious,” Carson said. “You’re going with that?”
I glanced at him from where I was standing in front of the whiteboard. My entire team was in the meeting room, finalizing our materials for Lexi’s approval. She’d had input along the way, but this was a run-through of our final presentation to her and the investors of the development. It was a very big deal.
I had followed Nick’s advice and buried Carson in work. He’d managed to fob off a lot of it, but there’d been enough that he’d actually had to put in some hours because Miguel and Sophie had made the material for Lexi’s housing development priority number one.
“Is there a problem, Carson?” I asked. I knew he was making a scene because Miguel and Sophie weren’t in the meeting, and he thought he could get away with it. Also, it was possible his ego was feeling a bit dinged. I hadn’t chosen his design for the logo, and since he was the art director, that probably chafed a bit.
“I busted my tail on the logo for New Dawn,” he said. He gestured to the artist rendering in front of him. “And you’re choosing this one?”
“Yes, I am,” I said. I glanced behind me at the whiteboard, where the chosen logo filled the entire screen. “I think Luz’s design captures the spirit of a net-zero development in the desert perfectly.”
“It looks like a child drew it,” he said. His voice dripped with condescension.
“That’s uncalled for and extremely unprofessional,” I said. I glanced at Luz, who had worked with me on rendering the logo: a bright yellow sun rising over the desert with a stylized mid-century modern vibe. I loved it, and most important, Lexi and the investors loved it even more.
“What are you going to do, tell on me?” Carson sneered. He rose, pushing back his seat so forcibly that it slammed against the glass wall. I saw staff members in the room beyond whip their heads in our direction.
“She won’t have to,” a voice said from the doorway. We all turned to see Trent standing there. He looked pissed. Trent never looked pissed. “A word, Carson?”
“Sure,” Carson said. “Whatever.”
He grabbed his materials and stalked from the room. Trent met my gaze as he waited for Carson, and he made the tiniest nod. Then he turned and followed him.
My heart started to pound in my chest. Had Trent tied Carson to the bogus charges on my card? I wanted to run after them, but I forced myself to play it cool. It had been weeks since my meeting with Trent about my credit card. Frankly, I’d been so consumed with the New Dawn development and Nick, I hadn’t given it much thought.
The meeting broke up, and I pulled Luz aside. “I hope you won’t let what Carson said bother you. He was wrong. Your design is brilliant.”
She flushed with pleasure. “No, it’s all right. His ability to hurt me dried up a long time ago.”
“Good,” I said.
I was walking back to my office with an armful of materials when Carson stepped out of Trent’s office. He began to clap slowly. It was the sort that let you know the person doing the clapping really despised you.