“Look, we’ve got history. I get that. We’re pregnant, but I’m not going to forget you walking away.”
“I did that for your own good.”
“And because you’re back, you expect me to be happy about that?” I asked. “There are a lot of things going on right now. I can’t process all of this. You’re going to need to give me time.”
“I’m raising this kid with you,” he said.
“Of course. That’s not in question. I want to raise this child with you, and that wasn’t a lie. But you’ve just come back into my life. I don’t know if this is even the right thing to say. I’m … having to get used to you, okay? I’m not going to fall into a trap with you.”
He stepped close to me, and I held my hand up, but he didn’t stop.
My palm touched his chest, and he grabbed my arms, placing a kiss against my head. “I’m not going to let you down. I’m going to prove to you that I’m in love with you, Ashley, and you will be mine.”
I got another kiss to the forehead, and then he was gone.
My apartment suddenly felt so empty.
He’d been in my life for a matter of hours, and he’d managed to make my life seem hollow.
Sitting down at the table, I reached for my cell phone and pulled up Emily’s number.
I swiped at the tears falling down my cheeks. They had no place.
With a deep breath, I put the cell phone against my ear, and my hands shook slightly.
It was late here, so it had to be slightly earlier there.
The phone kept on ringing, but I didn’t hang up.
I waited.
Patiently.
Waiting.
“Ash, hi, is everything okay?” Emily asked.
With my palm flat to the table, I took a deep breath. “Emily, hi,” I said.
“What’s wrong?”
Silence. I didn’t know what to say.
“Ashley, you’re scaring me. Is someone there?”
“Earl’s here,” I said. “He, er, he arrived yesterday. He was waiting for me in my apartment.”
“Fuck. I had no idea he was even coming to see you.”
“I don’t imagine he really cares about giving people the heads-up, you know? He’s always been the kind of guy who just does what he wants to and to hell with the consequences.” I ran my palm across my table. It was so clean. No roughed-up dry pieces of food.
“What’s wrong?”
“Oh, you know, it has been a long couple of days. Earl told me he loved me, and to add to that, I’m pregnant. It has been a pretty hectic couple of days.”
“Pregnant?”
“Ah, you heard that part.” I rubbed the back of my head. There was so much to take in.
Earl being back was messing with my head. With everything.
Emily let out a squeal. “How far along are you? Is it Earl’s, or did you find yourself a hot Brit? Come on, I want details.”
I laughed. “I’ll try not to be offended, but this is Earl’s baby. I’ve been so busy working. I’ve got two jobs.”
“Ashley, you’ve been working yourself to the bone because you’ve got a broken heart.”
“It worked for you.”
“Damn it, I don’t want you to cry, but I can hear it,” Emily said. “Now I’m crying and I can’t give you a hug.”
“I know you would if you were here.” I wrapped an arm across my body, trying to give myself a hug. It didn’t exactly work, but just hearing Emily’s voice was enough to calm me down. “I can’t believe I’m pregnant.”
“Wait, a minute, Earl told you he loved you?”
“Yes, and he asked me to marry.”
“So why do you sound so sad? Isn’t this good news? He’s going to do the right thing?”
I sighed. “I don’t want him to marry me because of the baby. It doesn’t seem right, nor fair.”
“Ashley, babe, it’s his baby, and you love him, and he told you he loved you.”
“I get all of that, I do, but … if he wanted to marry me, wouldn’t he have asked before the baby?” I couldn’t help but feel he only asked because of the baby.
Part of me wanted to be happy he’d asked at all, but I didn’t want to get married because of a child.
I loved Earl, so damn much. It hurt to be around him. My emotions were all over the place, loving and hating him with equal measure.
It was good to be in his arms. At the same time, I also hated it. This was my time to get over him, and now he was back and I was pregnant. Everything seemed so … hard.
“Do you realize our kids are going to be close in age?” Emily asked, changing the subject.
This, I could handle.
I released a laugh.
“I know, right.”
“Ashley, I know it doesn’t seem it right now, but everything is going to be okay. I’ve got a feeling.”
At this time, I had nothing but the knowledge the only man I’d ever loved was back, and this wasn’t over. I was pregnant, and everything was so chaotic, I couldn’t trust a single thing.
****
For a week, Earl didn’t show up.
Not at my work.
Not at my apartment.
Nor did he appear randomly on the street.
I had him for approximately twenty-four hours, tops, and he was gone. I’d already booked my appointment at the maternity ward at the local hospital. The doctor had called back the following day to give me all the details of what I needed to do next.
My appointment wasn’t for another couple of days. I had no way of reaching Earl to let him know. He was the dad and had a right to be there at each appointment.
After a long shift at the restaurant and trying not to throw up, I was more than happy to get back to my apartment. I’d removed my jacket and toed off my boots, heading into the kitchen when my door was knocked.
I removed the band at the back of my neck, loosening my hair. I needed a bath, food, and some sleep.
Opening the door, I stopped when I caught sight of Earl. He looked good. A pristine suit, his hair slicked back, but it didn’t appear to have any gel in it.
“Earl,” I said. “What are you doing here?”
I should have been screaming at him for abandoning me again. For leaving me alone to deal with everything. The truth was, I wasn’t the kind of woman to hold a grudge for long. I’d already sent Caleb and the rest of the Monsters a gift basket. A personal card to Caleb, apologizing for blaming him for everything that had gone wrong.
I’d been angry, hurt, and heartbroken. When he’d been trying to talk to me, I’d wanted someone to blame, and it was so easy to put it on him. He’d put me in Earl’s path, but I was the one to fall in love with him.
“I want you to come with me. There’s something I need to show you.”
“Can it wait?”
“No. Once this is over, I’ll have to wait for the next one.” He held out his hand.
Something in his voice told me to follow him. I quickly put my shoes back on, even as my feet cried at the injustice of it all, and I went with him to his car.
I had no idea where we were going until we ended up at a dock near the south. Earl tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as he looked ahead.