He was here, in my living room. Talking to me.
My mouth went dry.
“Where were you?” he asked.
“You don’t get to ask me any questions.” I wanted him to stay silent so for a short time, I could just look at him and try to understand what was happening right now.
Tonight, I’d found out I was pregnant with this man’s baby, sat in a pub, didn’t drink a single drop of beer, came home, and discovered him here.
“Why are you here?” I asked.
“I came back for you.”
I shook my head. “No, you let me go, remember? You’d grown bored. You had enough of me.”
“Why is it so easy for you to believe the lies I fed you but you can’t accept the truth?”
I ran fingers through my hair. “You wanted me gone.”
“I had to have you gone.” He got to his feet and took a few steps toward me.
I held my hand up. “No! You don’t get to come here to my carefully organized world and be a part of it. You made your choice. You had your fun. I’m not a virgin anymore, Earl.”
“You think I give a fuck about your virginity?”
“You cared enough to want to take it!” I slammed my foot down. I didn’t care how childish I might look. He wasn’t going to get away with this. I refused to let him.
“Ashley, this isn’t about your virginity. You read the article.”
“So you’re trying to be a hero now?”
“I had to let you go. Your life was in danger. I wasn’t going to let you die because of me.”
“And what, now my life isn’t in danger?”
“The man who was going to hurt you is gone.”
“Gone?”
“Dead.”
“I can’t be hearing this stuff.” I turned on my heel, about to walk away. I released a scream as his arms wrapped around me. His face pressed against my neck.
I wanted to hate his touch.
The moment I felt him against me, I melted. Even as I screamed and tried to fight, my body submitted.
For a few blissful seconds, I allowed myself the chance to enjoy him. But it was only a few blissful seconds before the pain returned and there was no way I was going to let him get over this.
I yanked myself away from his arms, taking him by surprise with my fight. Spinning around, I slapped him hard across the face. I only did it once, and he looked at me in shock.
“You don’t get to come in here after what you did and pretend everything is okay. You hurt me, Earl.”
“I know. I’m going to do everything in my power to make it right, Ashley. I’m not going to leave. I won’t hurt you. I’ll give you your space, but I’m not going away. I’m here to stay, to be the man you deserve. The man you can fall in love with.”
He opened his jacket, and I watched as he removed a single red rose.
So beautiful.
I wanted to tell him to stay. To hold me. I needed to tell him I was pregnant.
I said nothing as he left my apartment.
The silence was deafening. I was alone.
The newspaper clipping was still in my hand.
I didn’t know what the fuck was going on anymore.
****
Earl
During the days, Ashley worked at a café. It was a small greasy spoon. Offered good old-fashioned traditional English breakfast, chips, and all the good stuff people seemed to enjoy. There was no smoking allowed on the premises, and signs were displayed for people to see.
I listened to a few grumbles, but no one complained.
Tea was served by the gallon in silver teapots, with little plastic tubs of milk and sachets of sugar for people to make their own drink.
It was charming.
Ashley came in around ten. She wore a pastel-pink uniform, no apron, and her was hair tied back. The women who were cooking had on hairnets. I sat in the corner. There were no booths, no privacy, and the tables were quite close together.
She spotted me immediately.
I watched her close her eyes and she appeared to be counting to ten before she came toward me, a small notepad and pen in her hand. “What can I get you?”
Her accent was cute. A little twang of English softened her tone.
“I’ll have the full English,” I said. I had no idea what I was ordering. I’d never done breakfast in London before.
“With or without black pudding and mushrooms?” she asked.
“The full works.”
“Okay. I’ll do you a tea refill.”
“Ashley, I want to talk to you.”
“Then make an appointment,” she said. “I’m busy. I work.”
I wanted to reach out and grab her. I gave her space.
She went to a few other tables before taking my order up to the counter. One of the women took it and then started to point at a few tables and gave her hand a shake. Ashley smiled, and then I watched her go start cleaning the tables of the plates that had been left. By the counter, along the opposite wall, were stands where the trays needed to be taken. Clearly, people had left their trays for others to clean up the mess.
I couldn’t tear my gaze away from Ashley. She worked efficiently, but I noticed her gaze kept straying to mine. I didn’t know if she was annoyed with my presence or just couldn’t seem to help it. She was as drawn to me as I was to her.
Being apart these several weeks had been long enough. I wasn’t going to allow her to get away again.
Ashley came back with my pot of tea and my breakfast. The plate was huge. A couple of slices of toast, bacon, sausage, hash browns, fried eggs, beans, tomatoes, mushrooms, and what I assumed was black pudding. All on one plate.
“Enjoy.” She turned on her heel and left.
I’d ordered the food. I was going to eat it.
I started on it, and Ashley kept on looking at me.
She didn’t work at the café for long. Only a few short hours until after the lunch rush. I finished my breakfast and ordered tea.
The lunch rush came, and when she disappeared, I waited by the staffroom door for her to exit.
She’d been hoping to sneak out before I caught her. She had a tight grip on her bag as she looked at me. “What do you want?”
“To talk. To spend some time with you.”
“I’ve got a doctor’s appointment,” she said. “Maybe some other time.”
She tried to brush past me, but I captured her arm. “Are you sick?”
“No. I’m not sick.”
I checked her over, not trusting her opinion. She’d lie to me, and I needed to know if she was okay.
“Damn it, Earl. I’m fine. Clearly, I’m more than fine.” She pushed at my arm, and I let her go but got into step beside her.
“Then I’ll come to the doctor’s with you. I can drive you.”
Ashley stopped and turned toward me in the doorway of the café. “No. I can do this on my own.”
“Either you get in my car willingly, or I force you.”
“You can’t do that.”
“I can do whatever the hell I want to. Push me. Try me.”
She glared at me, stormed out of the café, and stopped on the street. “Tell me then, which one is your car?”
With her arms folded, she looked up and down the street. “I don’t see anything.”