I nodded and leaned into the girls as they helped me get ready. I knew I needed to get to Rome. I needed to find out how to protect my mate and make sure he understood that while some things were taken out of our hands, we still had to face them.
I could barely breathe as grief overwhelmed me. I tried to push it away because I needed to focus on other things. I couldn’t focus on Penelope right now. I couldn’t concentrate on Rupert. I couldn’t focus on why I was here. I could only take one step at a time.
Anger radiated through me. I would grieve later. I would cry, rage, and I would likely break. But I would be Rome’s mate. And I’d do everything in my power to make sure he understood what that meant and how I felt about it.
Chapter Twenty
Rome
I sat by the pond and looked at the water, trying to understand how I had ended up here. It didn’t make any sense to me that this was how my bond had been created.
I shouldn’t have crossed that boundary, but I couldn’t lose her. Ravenwood needed her. The coven needed her. I needed her. And yet, there was nothing I could do now. I had bitten her. I had marked her. I had taken her as mine without her permission.
She would likely be awake now. She would know what I had done. She would now understand that I had taken everything from her: her choices, her future, her ability to be herself without the pack surrounding her. She was only just learning how to be in the coven and Ravenwood. And now, she would have to do more with the pack.
I didn’t know how to fix this. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. All I knew was that Sage would never forgive me.
And, frankly, I was never going to forgive myself.
Her scent hit me first. I froze, wondering if it was a dream. But that rose scent was here. One that wasn’t cloying but slowly softening as it wrapped itself around me. Pulsated and seeped into my pores. I couldn’t breathe. Because if I did, I would inhale more of it.
And I would realize there was no going back.
My bear pushed at me, crawling over my body as my anchor tried to lift off and move towards the woman that it loved. The woman I loved. The bond flared. I closed my eyes, willing it to stop. Willing myself not to feel. I knew it was there, waiting. Waiting for me to do something about it. My bear played with that thread and knew that our mate was on the other end, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything about it because I would only end up wanting the bond more than I already did.
Our mating should have been a joyous occasion. But it couldn’t be now. I couldn’t let it become that for me. If I did, I would break. Though I deserved any pain that came because of the choices I had made.
I inhaled again and knew that she was in the house, not in the yard or the forest near me. I shook my head. I didn’t want to go in there. Every part of me knew I needed to. My bear pushed at me and I let out a breath.
“Okay, I’ll go.”
I stood up, wiped the dirt from my pants, and looked over the area. No one was around. However, I did see a tip of a wing out of the corner of my eye. I knew Jaxton had brought Sage here. Had brought her to me.
She was awake. She was healed. And she was mine. Now, I needed to face the consequences of my actions. I could scent Trace, as well, but I knew he was on the other side of the house. Watching, protecting.
I let out a chuff, a deep growl that only other bear shifters would hear, and Trace did the same in answer. There was no need for words, not now.
I needed to speak with Sage. I needed to make sure she knew that I wouldn’t force her into anything more. That I wouldn’t make her be my mate beyond the bond we now shared forever. She would bear my mark, just as my soul bore hers. The one I had placed above my heart because she couldn’t.
I walked into the house and inhaled again, her scent wrapping around me.
“Rome,” she said as she looked up at me, her eyes wide. She looked beautiful with her hair flowing in soft waves around her face. Her lips parted. Her eyes were wide—the hazel hue alluring.
I tried to catch my breath. I couldn’t. My bear pushed at me. Suddenly, I was moving forward. And then I had my hands around Sage’s face, cupping her cheeks, the tips of my fingers in her hair.
I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers. “You’re okay,” I whispered.
She looked at me. “Yes, because of you. You saved me.”
I shook my head and wrenched away. I shouldn’t have touched her. I shouldn’t have done anything without permission. And yet, here I was, doing it all over again.
“It’s not because of me. I took away your choice.”
She shook her head and took a step forward. I held up my hand, afraid that if she touched me, I would never let her go. The bond flared between us, pulling me towards her, but I forced myself to stay put. I made myself not touch her.
“You didn’t take away my choice. You and I slept together, Rome. I gave myself to you that night. You know you were the first person I was with since Rupert. I gave myself to you. That was my choice. One I would make readily again. We were waiting for the mating mark; until we got to know each other better. But you know it was inevitable. I would have chosen you, Rome. You didn’t take that choice away. It was Faith. She’s the one who took everything. She’s the one who hurt me. Who killed Penelope. It wasn’t anything you did. You aren’t the one who hurt me. You aren’t the one who took away my will. That was her. She’s a dark witch. A necromancer. What else were you supposed to do? Were you supposed to let me die in your arms, bleeding out? Was I supposed to let my blood mix with Penelope’s as I died near her? What were we supposed to do, Rome? You need to stop blaming yourself. I can feel it in the bond. I can feel your pain, and it’s killing me. Please, don’t walk away. Don’t stop touching me. Just hold me.”
She was crying then. And I tried…tried so hard to hold myself back. I couldn’t. Instead, I took the three steps between us and crushed her to me. “I’m sorry.”
She let out a breath. “No, don’t be sorry. You saved me, Rome. And I can feel you. You are my mate. You’re mine. Do you understand that? I hope you do. I hope you realize that I would have chosen you if given the time. We were already making our path. We would have ended up here. Maybe not in the same way, but we would have. And now, we have a future. We will fight Faith. We will protect this town and the pack. Though to do so, we need to be together. You can’t walk away. You can’t look at me and only see the choice that someone ripped away from us. I need you to look at me and see who we are and who we could be. I’m falling in love with you, Rome. Don’t you understand that? I’m falling in love with you. And it has nothing to do with the bond but because of the man you are. So, please don’t walk away. Look at me. Be with me. Kiss me. Can you do that? Can you kiss me right now?”
The floor nearly fell out from under me, and I staggered. “Of course, I want you, Sage. I’ve always wanted you. From the moment I saw you in that forest. When you were saving my life, when you used your magic without knowing to protect me, I wanted you. I will forever hate Faith for what she did. Because when I close my eyes, I can still see your lifeless form in my arms. I marked you, Sage. I engaged in the biggest taboo I could.”
She studied my face. “Now, what do we do? Do we go back to who we were? Or do we find a way to make this mark ours?”