I didn’t want the night to be over.
Because deep down, I knew my grand gesture wasn’t enough to convince her to give me—to give us—a shot.
We made our way back down to the SUV in thick silence. Caitlin was lost in her own thoughts, and I was too preoccupied with what came next.
Luis greeted us right at the door, effortlessly guiding Caitlin into the back of the SUV while I followed. “How was it?” he asked, the second he climbed into the driver’s seat.
“It was wonderful.” Caitlin let out a contented sigh, and I took her hand again, testing the waters.
To my surprise, she didn’t pull away. But she refused to look at me, and that alone spoke volumes.
“Tell me about it,” I prompted as the SUV’s engine purred beneath us.
“About what?” Caitlin finally met my gaze.
“Dancing.”
“It was a long time ago.” Sadness bled into her expression.
“You were a ballerina?”
“I trained in ballet, along with other disciplines of dancing.”
“Why did you stop?”
“Why do we stop doing any of the things we love?” She let out a small sigh.
“Caitlin, you can talk to me.” I gently squeezed her hand. “You can trust me.”
It was the wrong thing to say.
Caitlin snatched her hand from me and laid it in her lap, staring out of the window. Luis caught my eye in the rearview mirror, frowning.
He’d come to care for Caitlin, anyone could see that. It was him and Arianne all over again.
We rode in silence for the next ten minutes. I didn’t want to push her to talk about her past, but I had hoped tonight would be an olive branch. My cell vibrated and I dug it out of my pocket.
So… did she love it?
I smiled. I couldn’t help it. My sister was one hundred percent team Matteo and Caitlin. She’d even gone as far as to ship our names. Although I wasn’t sure Maitlin or Caitteo had a nice ring to it. But it was nice to know someone was rooting for us.
She did.
I texted back.
That’s it? Seriously, Matt. You need to give me something else. Did you kiss her?
Bella!
What? I need to know these things. I like her and she’s good for you.
“Let me guess,” Caitlin whispered. “Bella?”
“She’s grilling me about my art of seduction.” I smiled, hoping to thaw some of the ice between us. “Joke,” I quickly added when she didn’t reply. “I’m joking.”
“What are we doing, Matteo?” Caitlin’s eyes shuttered as she inhaled a shaky breath.
“Well, I thought we were watching the ballet, but—”
“Matt, I’m serious. This can’t work. You have to know that.”
“You’re wrong, Cait.” I grabbed her hand again, refusing to let her go this time. I didn’t care that Luis could hear me, I needed to say this. I needed to make her see.
“What I know is that I can’t stop thinking about you. I wake up and the first thing that pops into my head is you. I fall asleep with your face in my mind. Whenever we’re near, I want to touch you. It’s like my hands get a mind all of their own, needing to be close to you.”
“Matt—”
“No, Cait.” I pulled her hand to my chest, right over my heart. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t feel it?” I stared at her, willing her to admit it. “Tell me you don’t feel it and I’ll walk away. You can stay in the cabin until DiMarco is taken care of and then you can go on your way. You’ll never have to see me again. If that’s what you want, then—”
“I feel it.”
Those three little words should have meant everything to me. But the pain in her eyes made my heart sink.
“Why do I feel like there’s a big ‘but’ in there?”
“You’re such a good man, Matteo.” Caitlin took my hand in hers. “But I’m…”
“What, Caitlin? Just say it.” Put me out of my misery.
She sucked in a ragged breath and forced a smile. “It doesn’t matter. Tonight was amazing. I’ll never forget it.” She leaned over and kissed my cheek.
And I let her.
I didn’t argue or try to convince her.
Because surely wanting someone to take a chance on you wasn’t supposed to be this hard?
By the time we pulled up outside the cabin, Caitlin had fallen asleep on my arm.
“Caitlin,” I whispered, gently nudging her. “We’re here.”
“Huh?” She blinked up at me, confusion glittering in her eyes. “What time is it?”
“A little after midnight. Wait here, okay?” I dropped a kiss on her head and climbed out of the SUV, going around the other side. Pulling the door open, I helped her out.
“I’m sorry I fell asleep.”
“Don’t be,” I said, tucking her into the crook of my arm and guiding her inside. Luis made himself useful by lighting the fire while I walked Caitlin to her room.
“Thank you for tonight,” I said.
I’d hoped this night would end differently. That maybe she’d invite me to stay, and I’d get to taste her again. To do all the things I wanted to do to her.
But I wouldn’t be that guy. I couldn’t.
If she didn’t want all of me, then I had to accept that.
“Are you okay getting inside?” I asked, jamming my hands in my pockets to stop myself from reaching for her.
“Matt, I—”
“It’s okay, Cait. I get it. You don’t want me.” At least not the way I wanted her to want me.
“It isn’t… I’m sorry. I can’t—”
“Shh, Tink.” Cupping the back of her neck, I drew her into me. “It’s okay.” I breathed against her temple. “I’m glad I could give you tonight.”
“Matt.” Her fingers twisted into my shirt as we stood there, silently saying everything we couldn’t say aloud.
“I think Bella wants to come and see you again tomorrow. But if you’d prefer, she doesn’t—”
“No, I’d like that.” She gazed up at me and I wanted to believe the hunger in her eyes was for me.
“Go. I’ll speak to Luis before I leave and let him know to expect Bella tomorrow.” I forced myself to take a step backward. “Good night, Caitlin.”
“Good night.” She watched me back up down the hall before slipping into her room and closing the door.
I let out a strained breath, running a hand over my jaw. I’d really thought tonight would change things for her.
Feeling utterly defeated, I made my way into the living room.
“You’re leaving?” Luis asked me.
“Yeah, I think it’s best I go.” I moved for the door, pausing when I reached it. “Has she told you anything about her past?”
“Not much, why?”
“No reason,” I said. “Bella is going to drop by tomorrow. Keep your eye on her.”
He nodded. “You have my word.”