Ian set his glass down. “Come on. Let’s swim.” He jumped up, ran to the pool, and leaped in. I was right behind him, and we swam for I didn’t know how long. There was a freedom to living with Aidan and being his boy. I had a job, responsibility, a purpose, but I also had protection and care and what felt like love even though I knew it wasn’t that.
Eventually we got out of the pool and went back to our chairs. I glanced at my phone and saw that Aidan would be home soon. I mentally ran over my checklist, making sure I had all my responsibilities done for the day. It was linen-washing day, and I’d grocery shopped and put together a casserole I only needed to put in the oven.
“I’ll be right back. I need to get dinner on.”
Ian nodded, rolling over to lie on his stomach. I dried off as best as I could, warmed the oven, and put the food in before joining him again. I closed the screen but left the sliding glass door open to get a bit of fresh air and so I could hear the oven timer.
We lay there enjoying the kiss of the warm sun on our skin, and for the first time in my life, things felt almost perfect.
A few minutes later Ian asked, “What about the school thing? Is he still making you get your diploma?”
“Ugh.” I groaned. Besides the no-sex, that was the worst part—the thought of figuring out how many credits I needed to make up and registering to do it, along with actually going to class for what felt like absolutely no reason. “He’s mentioned it a couple of times over the past few months. I know he wants it, but I’m trying to hold off as long as I can. I’m hoping eventually he lets it go. It’s really fucking stupid. Why do I have to get my diploma if I don’t want to?” What if I couldn’t do it?
“So you’re basically disobeying him?”
I shrugged. “I guess, but like I said, I think it’s dumb, so if I don’t have to, I’m not going to do it.”
The sound of the screen door opening made me scramble to sit up. Aidan was there, in jeans and a short-sleeved button-up shirt, his arms crossed and disappointment in his eyes. One look was all it took for me to know he’d heard me and that he was not happy with me.
“Ian…I think it’s time for you to go home. I’ll order a ride for you.” Aidan’s voice was calm, steady as ever. He didn’t look at me, but I silently begged him to. God, I didn’t want to anger him. Not really. More than that, I didn’t want to let him down, but I had. I’d disobeyed him and let him down.
Without a word, he turned and walked into the house.
“Oh shit. I think he heard us,” Ian said.
“You think?” I snapped. Suddenly, I wanted to cry. Wanted to crawl to him and kneel for him and beg him to forgive me, not to be mad at me. “Come on, let’s go.”
Aidan was in the kitchen when we got there. He had a glass of ice water in his hand that I wished I’d gotten for him.
“Your ride will be here in five minutes,” Aidan told Ian.
“Okay…thank you. I’ll get dressed and see myself out.”
The moment Ian was gone, I walked toward him. “Aidan, I—” He held up his hand, and I immediately stopped speaking.
“Get changed. Finish dinner. I’ll be in my office. Let me know when it’s done.”
“Yes, Sir,” I replied with a nod, missing him the moment he walked away.
I ran upstairs to get dressed, needing to do as told. Afterward, I was back downstairs, finishing dinner and drying any water off the floor from Ian and me. I threw the towels into the washing machine and paced the room, wanting Aidan, needing to serve him, scared he would toss me away.
When dinner was done, I plated our food and set it on the table. I opened one of his favorite bottles of wine and poured him a glass, then got water for myself.
My heart thudded as I knocked on his office door. “Dinner’s ready.”
“I’ll be out in a moment.”
I wanted to wait for him but didn’t think I should, so I went to the table and sat in my chair, the one I always sat in. We had our own spots, and I loved that, knowing there were things in Aidan’s home that were mine.
As soon as he joined me, I said, “Aidan, I—”
“Eat. We’ll discuss it after dinner.”
“Yes, Sir,” I replied, but I didn’t like it at all.
We ate in silence, and when we were finished, he said, “Wash the dishes, please, then go to your room. I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
My room? Aidan never joined me in my room. “Yes, Aidan.”
I was quick to do as he said, and then I was there, waiting, standing in the middle of my bedroom, and felt…wrong. This wasn’t where I wanted to be, so I knelt down, let my knees kiss the carpet, and the simple action soothed some of what ailed me.
It felt like an eternity before Aidan entered the room, but I knew it had only been a couple of minutes. He walked over and sat in a chair that wasn’t usually there; I hadn’t noticed it when I’d first come in. It was a comfortable chair, upholstered in soft, gray fabric, but without armrests. It was usually in Aidan’s room.
“I’ve been patient with you on the school issue. I wanted you to get adjusted, to fall into your routine. I thought a little time would be beneficial and that eventually you would do as you promised, if not because you wanted to, then because I said it. What I didn’t expect was to come home and hear you’ve been disobeying me on purpose, laughing while saying you would go back on your word and that you were trying to put me off.”
My head spun, and tears already pooled in my eyes as fear clung to me. Not of Aidan. I would never be afraid of him, but of losing this, losing myself, because serving made me feel complete and…and because I’d failed him. That was the last thing I wanted. “Aidan, I didn’t…” But what could I say? I had done exactly what he’d said I’d done, and I’d planned to keep doing it. “I’m sorry.”
He nodded. “I know you are, but that doesn’t change the fact that you did it. Unless this is a hard limit for you, stand up, please, take off your clothes, and lie over my lap. Say red if you want me to stop, or yellow and I’ll ease up. You’ll take your punishment, and then we’ll discuss where things go from here.”
My heart dropped to my feet, a heavy weight making it difficult to move. Where we went from there? Did he mean he was sending me away?
“Yes…yes, Sir.” I couldn’t even be excited about being naked around him, something I’d wanted so badly, because I hated upsetting him. Hell, I loved the idea of being spanked, and I’d wanted it for…forever, but my dick hung soft because this wasn’t for fun; this was because I’d done wrong. I’d let him down, and that hurt me soul-deep.
I took off my clothes, walked to him on shaky legs, and lay over his lap. I took in Aidan’s scent—the light hint of sweat on his skin, twined with the subtle musk of his cologne, the ocean, and what I thought safety probably smelled like. I took comfort in that, inhaling it, then letting it out.
“I’m going to start slowly.” He rubbed his hand over my bare ass, and I hated that I couldn’t enjoy this, that it couldn’t be a moment of desire between us instead of a reminder that I’d disobeyed him.