“I don’t even know. He said not to ask questions and we’d talk on Sunday.” I wasn’t sure he was entirely happy about what he’d offered me, but I wasn’t going to tell Ian that. Whatever it was Aidan offered, I knew I would take it, but I really hoped he wanted me—all of me.
“Do you think you’ll be able to do it? Submit to him?”
There was no doubt in my mind that I could. Aidan had come into my life at three separate times, and each one, he protected me. I had to believe he would continue to do so. “Yeah. I trust him.” Ian nodded, and I added, “But I’m worried I won’t be good enough for him. Hell, I’ve given what? Five sloppy blowjobs in my life, which I’m pretty sure I sucked at, and not in the way you want to suck at blowjobs. I’ve never been fucked, and I don’t really know how to do all the things I want, even though I know I want them. And what if he doesn’t even want me that way? I’m getting ahead of myself.” Which I had the tendency to do. “He probably just feels sorry for me. It’ll likely only be household things he wants from me, anyway.” I’d find a way for that to be enough.
“You’re gorgeous. I’m sure he wants in your ass.” Ian rolled his eyes playfully. “So will you move out? Will he want you to move in with him?”
Shit. I hadn’t even thought about that. “I…I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to leave you.”
For the second time, Ian rolled his eyes. “Fin, I’d be fine. I’m a big boy. I can live by myself.”
He would be able to do so easier than I would. Money would be an issue, of course, but Ian was more independent than me in other ways. Plus, he had a regular fuck buddy he stayed with sometimes too. “I’ll still help you with rent and shit. You know that, right? It could still be our place.”
“I’m not your responsibility.”
“Ian.”
He waved off my concern. “We’ll figure it out. We don’t even know what he wants yet, but I have to say it—if things don’t work out, you know you always have a place with me, right? No matter what.”
“Yeah.” I smiled at him. “I know.”
The days went by at a snail’s pace. I seriously wasn’t sure they had ever gone by so sluggishly. Finally, it was Saturday night, and I was up most of the night. When I rolled off the futon in the morning and looked in the mirror, I saw the dark circles under my eyes. “Shit.” I was going to go over there looking so used up, he wouldn’t want me.
I showered and dressed in my best clothes. I couldn’t eat anything; my stomach was too nervous. Ian was going to walk me to the bus stop, but the second we got to the busy sidewalk, I saw Aidan’s car waiting there. He was leaning against it, his hands in his jeans pockets.
“Umm, he’s fucking hot,” Ian whispered.
“I know, right?”
Aidan walked over, taking off his sunglasses as he came. When he reached us, he held his hand out for Ian, and I didn’t know why, but that made me smile. “I’m Aidan Kingsley. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Ian, nice to meet you too.” But Ian wasn’t smiling. I nudged him and heard a soft chuckle from Aidan.
“I’m only making him an offer. If Finley doesn’t want to take it, he doesn’t have to, but I won’t hurt him. You’re a good friend to him.”
“Sorry. I just worry,” Ian replied.
“Jesus, Ian. I know what I’m doing.”
Aidan looked at me and cocked a brow in a way that told me he wasn’t happy with me. “There’s nothing wrong with him worrying. He should. I’m glad he does. It’s not a slight against you. It means he cares.”
Guilt tumbled around inside me as I shoved my hands into my pockets. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Aidan simply nodded. “I’ll have him home before this evening. Finley will text you my phone number from the car,” he told Ian.
“Okay…thank you,” Ian replied.
We walked to Aidan’s BMW together. He opened the door for me, and as simple as that gesture was, it turned my insides to mush. I climbed in and clicked my seat belt into place as he walked around and got in. “You came to get me,” I said.
“Obviously.”
“Why?”
“Because I wanted to.” He pulled onto the street. “Did you eat?”
“No.”
“You need to eat. It’s important. We’ll go home. You can make breakfast, and we’ll talk.”
Home… Did he mean that because he planned to move me in with him? I trembled with need at the thought, but what I said was, “Does that mean you didn’t eat? It’s important to eat.”
I was sure it was the wrong thing to say, and silently chastised myself, so I was surprised by the sound of laughter coming from Aidan. It pushed through his lips, almost as if he had been shocked about it too. “I knew you would be a brat. Mind your manners, though.”
“But isn’t that what this is about? You take care of me, and I take care of you too? So if you’re reminding me that I need to eat, I should be doing the same for you.”
Aidan didn’t answer for a moment. I wondered if he was already regretting this, whatever this was. What felt like an eternity later, he finally spoke. “That depends on a few things. First, if we go through with this, and second, the nature of what we do. There are no rules we have to follow; we’ll do what’s right for us. And I haven’t decided what that is yet—or what I want.”
I nodded. “Yes, Sir.” His hands tightened on the steering wheel, but I wasn’t sure if it was because he liked hearing me say that or because he didn’t.
We were quiet the rest of the drive to his house. The second we pulled up to it, I was reminded how out of my element I was, that I didn’t belong there. It was a beautiful home, this creamish color, with palm trees along with other trees surrounding it.
Aidan killed the engine and got out, and I took a deep breath, forcing my limbs to work, and did the same. He invited me here. It doesn’t matter if I belong or not.
I followed him to the front doors. They were french, a dark brown with frosted glass in the center so you couldn’t see inside. Aidan unlocked the door, then tossed the keys into a bowl on the table in the entryway.
“Should I take off my shoes?” I asked.
“It’s fine. Whatever you want.”
“Can I take off your shoes?”
His eyes flared with something—desire, I hoped—but he shook his head. “Not now. Let’s go have breakfast.” He began to walk down the hallway, and I followed as he continued. “There are eggs, ham, peppers, and onions in the fridge. Can you make omelets?”
I rolled my eyes, and he clicked his tongue as if to chastise me. “None of that. Just answer the question.”
“Yes, I can make omelets.” What did he think I was? I might have been young and uneducated, but I sure as shit knew how to make breakfast.
It took me a moment to realize we had stopped walking. Aidan nodded toward the kitchen and said, “Come.”
And I went…eagerly and obediently, silently hoping he would want me to stay.