Sighing, I placed the iron down. “Robyn … when you started your affair with Lachlan, did you ever think you were doing something wrong? Like he was an inappropriate choice because he was Mac’s friend and boss?”
My sister seemed surprised by my question but considered it. “Well, yeah, I think more so on Lachlan’s part because I was Mac’s daught—oh my God, you have feelings for Thane.” She guessed, her eyes big and round and absolutely not revealing whether she was horrified or surprised.
I grimaced. My sister was way too smart for her own good. “If I said I did?”
Robyn blinked like an owl for a few seconds and then exhaled slowly. “Okay … well … I’d have to ask what kind of feelings? Feelings-feelings or lusty feelings?”
Relieved she wasn’t acting creeped out about it, I relaxed. Marginally. “At first I thought it was just a crush. He’s sexy and nice and he’s got that accent—”
“Oh, I know all about the accent thing, trust me.”
I gave a huff of laughter. “Right? And he’s adorable with Eilidh and Lewis. It was the first thing that struck me about him was the way he looked at his children, like they were his universe.”
“They are his universe.”
“I know. And I thought I just had a typical female reaction to being in proximity to a smokin’-hot single dad. I mean, it’s one of my favorite tropes.”
Robyn’s lips twitched with laughter.
“I was absolutely determined to ignore the lusty feelings he was eliciting in my southern region.”
“Thanks for the overshare.”
I grinned unashamedly. “You’re welcome. As I was saying”—my humor fled as I remembered Thane’s coldness toward me that morning—“there have been times these past few months when it seemed like we might be flirting with each other a little … and I even told him about why I left you when you got shot.”
My sister raised an eyebrow, obviously surprised I’d divulged that to him.
“And he’s entrusted me with some of his history. Things I don’t think he discusses with many people. We get along amazingly. It’s like we fall naturally into sync, as though we’ve all been a family forever.”
Concern entered Robyn’s eyes.
“I know,” I hurried to say, “I know, before you say that those are dangerous ideas to have. But I’m finding it harder to ignore how I feel. Until … well, you know how I rushed to his work yesterday to drop off his portfolio?”
She nodded.
“There was this sleazy colleague that Thane wanted me away from as fast as possible, and he was kind of an ass about it. He apologized when he got home and then told me he smacked the guy in the face for making a crude crack about me being the nanny, and, well, he didn’t tell me the details but I could guess what was said.”
Robyn nodded. “Lachlan told me last night. I was shocked. Thane always comes across as the levelheaded brother, but Lachlan said when they were younger, Thane was kind of a scrapper.”
I filed that information away, coveting it, as I did anything about Thane. Seriously, I was borderline obsessed. “I was icing his hand afterward, and we had this moment. There was touching … of my ass. More like a manly, hot, grabbing of my ass, actually.” I shivered remembering it.
“Keep the details to a minimum.” Robyn scowled. “You are my baby sister, and I do not want to have to kill Lachlan’s brother before our wedding.”
I chuckled unhappily. “Well, that was all that happened. He was about to kiss me when your stupid fiancé walked in, and I ran away.”
“I will let the stupid comment pass since you’re clearly upset.”
“I am upset. Here I’m thinking, there’s no denying Thane is attracted to me, too, because I had evidence of said hard-on digging into my stomach—”
“God save me from baby sisters who have no filter.”
“—and being a complete naive fool, barely sleeping because I’m daydreaming that something special might come from this, and all he’s thinking is ‘How can I make it as clear as possible that I’m repulsed by my reaction to my nanny last night?’”
Robyn frowned, her amusement gone. “What did he do?”
The hurt rose to the fore, and I couldn’t meet her eyes. Instead, I smiled breezily. “He was kind of cold to me this morning, no big deal.”
“Regan, it’s me you’re talking to.”
I met her loving gaze and instantly dropped my guard. “It hurt.” I shrugged, trying to pull back the ridiculous emotion I experienced over a guy just because he’d acted monosyllabic and short with me. “I’m making a bigger thing out of it than it was.”
Robyn leaned on the ironing board and reached for my hand, her expression concerned and tender at the same time. “If there’s one thing I know really well, it’s Adair men and how they think. One thing I love about Lachlan and Thane is their sense of honor and responsibility. Having a sense of honor is a dying trait, and it’s appealing when you find it in someone. But it can also make a person pretty hard on themselves. Lachlan gets tetchy when he thinks he’s failed someone or failed himself. And I can see Thane being that guy too.”
“What are you saying?”
She squeezed my hand, her sympathy making me uneasy. “I’m saying, how would it look if he seduced his twenty-five-year-old nanny?”
I pulled my hand away. “When you say it like that, you make it sound crude and dirty. It’s not.”
“No, but that’s how some people will see it. And you are his employee, Regan. His much younger employee, and he has two children he needs to protect. Even from village gossip.”
My brows pulled together as my agitation built. “It’s not wrong if we have feelings for each other.”
My sister gave me a pained look. “Sweetie, I think any man would be lucky to have you, and any man who can’t see that is a fool … but there’s a possibility that all this is for Thane is a physical attraction. Baby girl, you are gorgeous. Could fit right in among all those stunning, famous actors running around the estate kind of gorgeous. He would have to be dead not to see that. And react to it.”
The hurt flared again. It had never crossed my mind that all it would be for him was physical attraction.
Why would it be anything else?
He was a professional, intelligent, sexy, wealthy single father.
And I was a flailing college graduate who had abandoned her family because she couldn’t face the harsh realities of life.
“No. No.” Robyn tugged my chin to bring my eyes to her. “Whatever it is you’re thinking right now, get it out of your head.”
“I’m a moron,” I whispered.
“You’re not a moron. Don’t say that.”
“Should I quit?” The thought of leaving Eilidh and Lewis killed me.
Robyn frowned. “No. They need you, Regan. They … Eils and Lew are so happy, and I see a difference in Thane too. He’s more relaxed, less stressed.”
“I have to leave in four months, anyway.”
“Actually … not really. I’ve been looking into it, and you could apply for a UK ancestry visa. Those allow you to stay for five years, as long as you can prove you have a work placement, which I’m sure Thane would provide.”