Well, it was horrible.
Looking down the hallway, I noted the side entrance that probably led to the backyard. It was cold out, but it was dry.
And I could do with some fresh air.
THANE
Regan disappeared fifteen minutes ago and hadn’t come back. At first, he’d thought she’d gone to the kitchen to help Mac and Arro, but they’d returned with drinks for everyone and she wasn’t with them.
He noted Robyn frowning at her empty spot on the couch, more specifically at the floor. Thane peered around Mac’s legs and noted the gift bag.
When he looked up, Robyn stared intensely at him.
He squirmed with guilt.
“Where’s Regan?” Eredine asked, cutting through Lachlan and Mac’s conversation about security plans for the Hogmanay ceilidh at Ardnoch Castle.
“I don’t know.” Robyn moved to push up off the large armchair she shared with Lachlan. “I’d better check.”
“Let me.” Thane stood. “I need to look in on the kids, anyway.”
Regan was probably with them.
A muscle ticked in Robyn’s jaw, but she nodded and lowered beside Lachlan.
Robyn’s strange intensity worried him. Had Regan told her sister about … the incident? Damn it. It was nothing. Something that shouldn’t have happened.
Or maybe she’s just picking up on the fact that you’re being an absolute bastard to her sister.
Guilt rode Thane’s every step. Once he’d put up his guard with Regan, he hadn’t known how to stop for fear he might cross the line with her again. And it was more than that. That man’s appearance last week had put Thane in the foulest of moods. Had he taken it out on Regan?
Remorse sharpened in his chest.
He’d been so lost in his concerns about that man and Eilidh that he hadn’t been paying attention to what he was doing to Regan.
Forced to socialize with her now, it was glaringly obvious that beyond the teasing between her and her sister, Regan had lost her sparkle. She didn’t want to sit around and laugh with them, and that was out of character. Regan was an optimistic, happy person who lit up any room she was in.
Had he dimmed her light with his behavior?
He’d acted like a typical fuck boy, flirting with her for weeks, touching her … and then icing her out. He hadn’t been a dick like that to women even in the arrogance of youth. It was appalling he’d do it now.
Was that why Lewis had clung to Regan so much this past week? He sensed Regan’s unhappiness?
Was his boy worried she didn’t want to be with them anymore?
What if she doesn’t?
Who would want to stick around for a boss who treated her like a mere servant?
If any other man did that to a woman he cared about, he’d have more than a few strong words for him.
The idea of Regan returning to the States made his pulse race with panic. Eilidh and Lewis needed her. Their lives were running so much smoother with her here, and she made them happy. Robyn had mentioned something about an ancestry visa a few weeks back, and it had given him hope perhaps Regan might stay on as their nanny for longer than six months. They were already in month three of her stay, almost halfway through.
A quick look in the TV room told him Regan wasn’t in there with the kids. The downstairs bathroom door was open, and she wasn’t in there either. As he stepped into the kitchen, he bumped into Robyn.
She held up the gift bag that had been lying on the floor.
Bemused, Thane took it and looked inside to see a book-shaped gift inside.
Robyn gave him that stony stare of hers. “Regan’s gift to you.”
He frowned. Why hadn’t she given it to him during the present opening?
“She’s sitting out in the backyard in the cold because she’d rather do that than sit in a room with you,” Robyn said bluntly. “Fix that, please.”
It was a command.
Ashamed of his behavior, he nodded like a scolded schoolboy and made his way to the French doors that led out into the back garden.
And there she was.
Her red hair gleamed gold in the autumn sunlight as she sat on one of Arrochar’s garden chairs, staring out into the woodland behind his sister’s house. Thane noted the protective way Regan sat with her knees drawn to her chest.
Sensing movement behind her, she glanced over her shoulder and tensed.
Only weeks ago she would have turned and given him her glamorous smile and those appealing dimples.
“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath and walked around her to sit down on her chair’s twin. “Hi.”
Regan drew her knees in even tighter. “Hey.” Her eyes dropped to the bag in his hand, and she stiffened.
“Robyn said this is from you to me.”
She tucked her hair behind her ear. “It’s just silly …”
Wanting to put her out of her obvious misery, and also intrigued by what the gift could be, Thane took the object out of the bag. It was thick and soft. Unwrapping it revealed a dark leather journal with an inscription on it. “Loyal Au Mort.”
“I … um … I noticed you have all these loose papers and sticky notes lying around the office, and a lot of them seem to be your thoughts on the same project.” She gestured to the journal as he opened the soft leather binding to reveal the lined paper inside. “It might be better for you to put all your ideas in one place so you don’t lose them.”
It was incredibly considerate, and he felt even more of a shit than before.
“Lachlan told me this is the Adair Clan motto.”
“Loyal Au Mort.” He traced the words embossed on the front. “Faithful unto Death.”
“I like it. It speaks to who you guys are. But … I don’t know.” She shifted uncomfortably again. “It seems stupid now.”
Because she saw him differently now?
Why did that prick his pride more than he liked?
“It’s not stupid,” he replied gruffly, his pulse thundering in his ears. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”
When she wouldn’t meet his gaze, he knew he had to do major damage control, or he was going to mess up things between them for good.
“I’m sorry I’ve been such a bastard to you. You don’t deserve that.”
Regan shrugged and gave him a wide smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “It’s fine.”
She was lying.
Hiding how he’d hurt her.
Not wanting to be vulnerable with him.
And who could bloody blame her?
“Last week, the man my wife cheated on me with suddenly approached me at work,” he shocked himself by blurting out.
Regan’s reaction was physical. Her knees fell away from her chest as if her strings had been cut. “What?”
“No one knows. About any of it. Not even Lachlan.”
Eyes wide, she shook her head. “Thane, I won’t tell anyone.”
He sat back in the chair, the cold air nipping at his cheeks. And it all just spilled out, like he couldn’t contain it any longer. “It was before Eilidh was born. I didn’t suspect a thing. Nothing had changed between us. Not our family dynamic, not our relationship. There had been a rough patch before it. Fran seemed discontent and I couldn’t work out why. But soon enough, I thought something had clicked into place for her because she seemed happier than ever. I just assumed she was finally growing into family life,” he grunted, remembering the brutal wound of discovering the truth. “I wanted to surprise her at work for Valentine’s Day. She had been working late a lot at school, and I thought she deserved a wee break. So I packed a hamper with nibbles and champagne to take to her. Arro was babysitting Lewis.