‘Ladies and gentlemen,’ a female voice announced over the microphone, ‘we hope you’ve enjoyed your wedding breakfast. Mr and Mrs Derbyshire would like to welcome you into the bar area for about half an hour. They’ll then invite you back into The Briar Room for their first dance as husband and wife followed by your evening’s entertainment. Thank you.’
Clare stood up and grabbed her wine glass and a part-finished bottle. ‘I’ll be going to freshen up. See you later.’ Without waiting for a response, she marched off.
‘Is she okay?’ Stevie said, staring after her.
I shrugged. ‘Hard to tell. Sarah says Clare gets funny whenever the subject of her family comes up. She never talks about them. I suspect she said too much and needs a bit of time alone. Speaking of family, I’m so sorry about yours. I didn’t know you’d lost your parents.’
He indicated that we should head towards the bar area so I walked beside him, wondering if he’d give any more information or whether I should change the subject. Thankfully he spoke. ‘You don’t know because I don’t usually talk about them. It’s not the first thing you can blurt out as soon as you meet someone and, after that, the timing never seems right.’
Bad timing? Now that was a concept I understood. ‘You don’t have to tell me now if you don’t want…’
‘No. I want to,’ he said. ‘Okay. Here it is. My mum lost her battle with breast cancer when I was fourteen. My parents were devoted to each other and my dad took it really hard. He couldn’t bear to live without her so, two years later, he took his own life and, unfortunately, I was the one who found him hanging in the garage.’
I stopped walking and grabbed his arm, tears rushing to my eyes. ‘No! That’s awful.’
‘Uncle George, my mum’s brother, took me in. He’d never married or had children. It must have been tough for him to suddenly have a bereaved hormonal teenager thrust on him, but he was amazing.’
‘I don’t know what to say. I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been for you.’
‘He made a pretty good guardian actually.’
‘I don’t mean living with your uncle.’
Stevie smiled. ‘I know what you mean. I’m being flippant. I’d like to talk about it some more with you, but maybe not today. Today should be a happy day. Do you mind?’
‘Of course not. I just feel so bad that I didn’t know. I’ve had loads of negative things to say about my mother and you’ve probably been thinking I’m a right ungrateful cow to feel that way when you’ve lost yours.’
Stevie put his arms round me and kissed the top of my head. ‘I could never think anything like that about you. You’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met. I hope you know that.’
I felt my whole body tingle as he held me close. The urge to kiss him was overwhelming. I moved my head slightly. I have to do this. I have to…
‘Sorry, but could we ask you to move into the bar,’ said a voice. Stevie let me go, apologised to the waiter and did as instructed. Damn! Moment lost yet again!
We joined Ben, Skye and Stuart in the bar. I got chatting to Ben about my house-hunt and he told me about his new kitchen. The chit-chat seemed very lame after what Stevie had just told me. Clare appeared after twenty minutes or so and seemed to be back on top form. There was no point asking her if she wanted to talk about it because she never did.
Ten minutes after that, the wedding compere called us back into the main room for the first dance. The tables had been cleared to the sides, the curtains were drawn, and disco lights threw coloured patterns across the floor and walls. Sarah and Nick took to the floor for their first dance.
‘Ladies and gentlemen, Mr and Mrs Derbyshire would love it if you could join them on the dance floor,’ announced the compere as a second ballad played.
I thought about what Clare had said about giving him a sign and turned to Stevie to ask him to dance, but he was already looking at me. Without words, he took my hand, led me onto the dance floor then wrapped his arms round my waist. I put mine round his neck.
‘You look radiant,’ he said.
My heart raced. ‘Thank you. You look pretty good yourself.’ Very, very good. Weren’t the chief bridesmaid and best man meant to get together? Well, the best man was engaged and there was no chief bridesmaid so how about the regular bridesmaid and the usher? I liked the sound of that.
‘Thank you,’ Stevie said.
We moved slowly in silence for a verse. ‘I should have complimented you earlier,’ Stevie whispered. ‘But I didn’t want to embarrass you in front of everyone.’
My heart thumped faster. ‘Thank you,’ I whispered again. Give him a sign! I pulled him a little closer, laying my head on his shoulder. He responded by tightening his grip. Closing my eyes, I snuggled further into his shoulder. I heard his breathing quicken. I wanted to kiss him more than I’d ever wanted to kiss anyone before. And I didn’t want to stop there. Was Clare right that he was waiting for a sign from me, something more than holding him more tightly? I’d have to say something, wouldn’t I? But what if she was wrong? What if I suggested something and he turned me down? He’d done that once before and, back then, I barely knew him and certainly hadn’t fallen in love with him. I opened my eyes, loosened my grip, and stepped back. Fallen in love with him? Had I?
‘Are you okay? Stevie still had hold of my arms. He looked concerned.
‘Just a little tired.’ Oh my goodness. I loved him. Really loved him. I had to say something. But that scene in Stardust filled my mind again. What if he rejected me? I couldn’t do it. Not now. I wasn’t brave enough.
I stepped away from Stevie. ‘I may just go to my room and have a lie down for a while. Would you excuse me?’ I needed to think things through. Could I risk making a move tonight or not? Could I take it if he rejected me for a second time?
‘Do you want me to come with you?’ He laughed. ‘To keep you company, not to have a lie down with you. Don’t want you to think I’m trying to take advantage. Friends don’t do that.’
My heart sank. So that was it, then. He really wasn’t interested. ‘No, it’s okay but thanks. I’ll be back down in an hour.’
When I opened my eyes again, it was to see daylight pouring through a gap in my curtains and a note under my door from Stevie:
Didn’t like to disturb you. You must have been exhausted. I have to leave early in the morning so won’t be at breakfast. Happy Christmas xx
38
My stomach rumbled as I made my way downstairs to the dining room the following morning. The smell of bacon wafted up to me and, despite being a vegetarian for sixteen years, I could happily have wolfed down a bacon sarnie at that very moment.
‘What happened to you last night?’ I turned to see Clare descending the stairs behind me.
I shook my head. ‘Disaster. Realised my feelings for Stevie were a bit more than fancying the arse off him as you put it. Went to my room to psyche myself up to doing something about it. Fell asleep. Woke up an hour ago to a note under my door saying he’d gone.’
‘That’s just bollocks bad luck, that is, especially when your man spent the evening moping around waiting for the love of his life to re-appear.’