“We don’t use that word in this house,” she said sternly.
“It’s true,” I cried.
“Lincoln, listen to me. People have different ways of showing their emotions. And some of us just don’t know how to.”
He was only good at showing one feeling. Mean.
I put my chin down and swung my legs.
She pulled me against her, stroking my hair. “He is who he is. And one day, when you’re a dad, you’ll understand why he’s the way he is. That he wants you to be the best you can be.”
I burrowed against her. “But you want me to be the best and you’re not mean to me.”
She kissed the top of my head. “How are you already so wise?”
“Where’s Teague?” Father’s thundering voice made me shiver.
I’d never tell him I’d told Teague to stay in my room and hide until I said it was okay to come out.
Mother smiled and patted the swing next to her. “Come sit, Samuel.”
He did as soon as she asked. She clasped his hand and he let her. He was stiff and frowning.
“The boy can’t leave his toys in the foyer. It’s uncivilized.”
Mother laughed and squeezed his fingers. “It’s not the end of the world.”
He pouted, and she laughed harder. “I distinctly remember you telling me a story about riding your bicycle down the stairs when you were Lincoln’s age.”
One corner of his mouth twitched. “And I was severely disciplined for it.”
“But you had fun.” There was a tease in her words. “Admit it.”
“I did,” he said reluctantly.
“Nothing was broken and no one got hurt, so there’s no need to get all worked up.” She kissed the back of his hand and he relaxed. “I love you, you serious, set-in-stone man.”
“I love you too, you crazy, beautiful woman.” He kissed the side of her head.
I stared wide-eyed at Father.
“And I love you, my sweet, tenderhearted boy.” She squeezed me against her side. “And your daddy does too.”
I looked at him, waiting for him to say something. He was back to his usual blank face.
She watched him too.
He opened his mouth.
I held my breath.
“I love you, son.”
I grasped the mantel. That memory had been buried so deep, I’d forgotten it. He’d only said the words because she’d prompted him to, and I’d never heard them again. Because it was a lie meant to satisfy my mother.
He stared at me with triumph in his gaze, as if he’d just been inside my head, reliving the moment along with me.
I loved my mother, but she was wrong. I’d never understand why he was the way he was.
He is who he is.
Hadn’t Lexie said something similar to me? That she didn’t want me to change. Mother hadn’t wanted him to change either.
“I don’t say things I don’t mean.” He challenged me to argue with a look.
“Why did you stop the investigation of her murder? They had a lead.”
Annoyance flashed on his face. “I see Mr. Zegas has been spilling the same nonsense his father did.”
“You gave up,” I said. “It was as if she died and you didn’t care that she received justice.” I threw my hands up.
“Justice?” he roared. “What justice is there for her? She’s dead. And unless someone can bring her back, there will never be justice.”
“Someone needs to pay for what they did,” I shouted.
He stood so quickly his chair hit the wall with a bang. “I have. Every day for the past thirty-four years.”
I balked. Never had I seen him display such an impassioned outburst.
He straightened his tie and returned to his seat as if it hadn’t happened. “We will not speak of this again.”
“Who was she?”
His brow furrowed. “I said we will not—”
“I heard you, but I’m not done. Who was that woman who killed her?”
I’d caught him by surprise. And he’d made the mistake of showing me in the briefest of looks.
“Neither Zegas knows that information. So I’d like to know how you do.” He spoke low and feral.
I’d kept something from my father for a very long time. It had to be a shock for a man who believed he knew my every move.
It was no advantage to me to hide it any longer.
“I was there.”
“You were on the way home from school.”
I shook my head. “I left early and went to meet her. But I was late.” I closed my eyes as that horrific moment replayed in my head again. “I saw everything.”
“Did you recognize the shooter?” The question was almost desperate. Was it to know the identity or to cover it up?
“No. I only saw her back.”
“Leave this alone, son. I mean it.” That was the tone he always took when I was still a boy in his eyes. The disciplinarian.
“I’m not sure I want to.” I strode closer. “I can’t make any real estate transactions. Perhaps I should use my free time to investigate.”
“Leave. This. Alone.”
It was a rare sight to see my father uncomfortable. But he was now. Very much so.
“Answer one question, and I’ll think about it.”
“What?”
“Did you have her murdered?”
His jaw worked, and I braced against the sofa in case he came at me over the desk. Because he looked as if he wanted to kill me.
“No.”
“But you know who did,” I concluded, narrowing my gaze.
“This might be difficult to believe, but if you think long and hard, you’ll see I’m telling the truth. There are only three things I love as much as I do your mother. Your brother, your sister, and you.”
I staggered back, grateful for the sofa behind me.
I believed he loved her, but as for his children, I’d yet to see the evidence.
People have different ways of showing their emotions. Some of us don’t know how to.
Not him. Every move he made was calculated.
“I’m pleased your situation with the authorities has resolved itself.” He leaned back as if we hadn’t just had an intense conversation.
“Why did you let Titan Title screw us on those property purchases?”
It hadn’t just affected my personal property, but some of the ones I’d had leads on for the company too.
“You needed to learn not to trust anyone. The lesson has taken a while to come to fruition, but I’m willing to bet you won’t make the same mistake again,” he said smugly.
“You have property at stake too.”
He sighed. “Lincoln, when will you finally understand that no one will undermine me? Especially not Hal Mercer.”
“You wanted to see me lose everything.” Because he couldn’t stand that I had more than he did.
“You foolish, foolish boy.” He leaned forward. “If you fail, I appear as a failure, so no, I do not want to see you lose everything.”
Because it would make him look bad. Silly me.
He pulled out a folder several inches thick and tossed it on the desk. “Your clear titles.”
I stared at them as if they were snakes. “How? I’ve had the best real estate attorney in the city working on them and he’s been unable to clear the one for my apartment.”