Jaxson had a feeling they weren’t talking about the circumstances surrounding his and Sam’s birth anymore.
“And really,” she continued softly, “what difference does it make? It was thirty years ago, and your parents are gone. What’s wrong with appreciating what you have right here, right now?”
“Nothing,” he answered. “Nothing at all. But I don’t believe my father knew about Sam, and I need that confirmation.”
“I can understand that.”
She kissed him on the cheek, but that wasn’t good enough. He cupped her face and coaxed her into the one he needed. Kissing her, touching her—those had become the things that centered him most.
“What was that for?” she asked when he finally released her.
“Just living in the moment, like you said.”
“Hmm. I like the way you live in the moment.”
He did, too, but only if he could do it with her. “So, what do you say?”
“I say, let’s hit the road.”
Chapter Thirty-One
Penny
Most people wouldn’t be excited about a nine-hour car ride, but Penny was. For her, it was nine more hours of having Jaxson all to herself. Five hundred and forty minutes and six hundred miles where it was just the two of them.
They took turns driving. Held hands. Talked about everything and nothing while listening to music. Enjoyed the beautiful scenery along the Blue Ridge Mountains and the Shenandoah Valley that she’d missed on the way down by traveling at night.
It was the perfect end to a perfect week and better than anything she’d dared to hope for. She hadn’t known what to expect when she impulsively set off for Campbell’s Junction. Had had no idea if Jaxson would be glad to see her or would scowl and tell her not to let the door hit her on the aster on the way out.
Either was possible; she’d experienced both. The last time she’d seen or spoken with him prior to her trip, they’d been on good terms, but that was the night they’d spent together in his motel room, a mutually-agreed-upon one-time thing. On the other hand, he hadn’t tried to contact her afterward and had left without saying good-bye.
For her, one night simply hadn’t been enough. It had opened up an entire world of possibility because for those hours, she’d felt whole. Desired. Adored.
It wasn’t just the sex. What Jaxson had made her feel that night went far deeper than simple physical pleasure, though that, too, had been admittedly fantastic.
She couldn’t just walk away from that, no matter what she’d said. Connections like theirs didn’t come along often; they were rare and beautiful and worth risking her heart for.
She was glad she had, too. Regardless of what happened next, the last week had been wonderful.
When they crossed the Mason-Dixon line into Pennsylvania, Jaxson suggested they stop for gas and for something to eat. She agreed, though for one of the first times in her life, she wasn’t particularly hungry. They’d be in Sumneyville in a few short hours, and one way or another, things would change.
“What’s wrong, Penny?” he asked after they gave the server their orders.
“Nothing. Why?”
“You’ve barely said a word for the last hundred miles. That’s not like you.”
He wasn’t the first person to tell her she talked a lot.
“Just thinking, I guess.”
“About?”
Things had been so good. She didn’t want to ruin them by expressing her concerns over what the future held.
One step at a time.
So, what she said was, “I’ve had a wonderful time this week.”
He reached across the table and squeezed her hand. “Me, too. And?”
She shrugged. “And nothing. I’m just sorry to see it end, that’s all.”
His brow lowered, then he nodded, as if he understood. She wondered if he really did or if he would still be able to walk away when he’d done what he’d come along to do.
The server brought their orders. The comfort food wasn’t particularly comforting, but she forced herself to eat it anyway, if for no other reason than to appear as if everything were okay. Jaxson remained quiet while he worked on his plate as well. Penny’s spirits plummeted further when he said nothing encouraging.
“Coffee? Dessert?” the server asked when she came to clear their meals away.
Penny shook her head, but Jaxson ordered two coffees and two slices of pie. The coffee, she understood. Neither one had gotten a lot of sleep the night before, and they still had several hours to go. But pie?
“I don’t want pie,” she told him.
“That’s what you say now, but you’re going to change your mind when you see mine.”
He smiled. It was relaxed. Easy. So unlike the grumpy, brooding Jaxson she’d met a few weeks earlier. She had done that. Or so she wanted to believe. That was something, right? But why wasn’t his stomach in knots, too?
“You sound pretty sure of yourself.”
“I am. I stopped here on my way back a few weeks ago. It’s really good pie.”
He was right. It was really good pie. Unfortunately, her mind was too preoccupied with what would happen when she dropped him off at Sanctuary and drove away for her to fully appreciate the goodness.
* * *
Jaxson
Jaxson wasn’t the most empathetic guy in the world. He was far better at pushing feelings and emotions into a deep well and capping it than he was at processing them.
Penny was a different story. Her eyes hid nothing. He could see everything she was feeling.
She was worried about what was going to happen when they got back to town. He got that. He had some concerns himself. But clearly, she was missing something that seemed glaringly obvious to him—the reason he’d driven back with her was purely because he hadn’t been ready to let her go.
He wasn’t sure he would ever be able to let her go again.
They left the restaurant, their alone time ticking down quicker than he would have liked. The rest of the trip passed in relative silence. Before long, they crested over a ridge, and the lights of Sumneyville appeared in the burgeoning darkness. Another blink, and they were pulling into the lot at Sanctuary.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come in for a little while?” Jaxson asked as they stood outside of the main building.
His arms were around her waist, his wrists crossed lightly at the small of her back. Hers were looped up around his neck.
“It’s better if I go, I think. You and Sam have a lot to deal with.”
He sighed and nodded. He wouldn’t mind having Penny around when Cage told them whatever he had to tell them, but Sam might. “All right. Call you tomorrow?”
“Please do. I’ll probably be out at the park, but I’ll have my phone with me. Let me know how it goes.”
“I will. Good night, Penny.”
“Good night. Oh, and, Jaxson?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t leave again without saying good-bye, okay?”
Jaxson’s heart squeezed painfully as he watched Penny drive away. He waited until her taillights disappeared from view and then went inside. Unsurprisingly, Matt Winston was waiting for him.
“Glad you made it. Sam and Smoke already went back to their place for the night, but everything’s set for tomorrow morning at ten.”