“Let me,” he said as he poured. “Would you like a strawberry?”
“Sure.” I immediately downed half my glass.
Instead of simply handing me one, Leo took a strawberry. With a glimmer in his eye, he placed it between his lips and spoke through his teeth. “Come get it.”
Is he serious? My palms grew sweaty as I considered whether to go for it. I leaned in with a racing heart and carefully used my teeth to retrieve the strawberry. Our lips didn’t even touch, but I could feel the heat of his erratic breaths, which sent a jolt through my body.
“Holy fuck. I didn’t think you’d do it.” He licked his lips.
As I chewed the berry, I looked down and wondered if I was losing my mind. Because that? What I just did? That was not like me at all. It was freaking erotic, though. Leo was so intoxicating that he impaired my judgment. I needed to be careful, because I was setting myself up to get hurt. Mrs. Angelini thought I should let go a little. But this night didn’t feel like letting go. This felt like my feelings were becoming entangled with this man. I wasn’t sure I was capable of just enjoying the present with someone who would inevitably be leaving.
It was all I could think about, even with the summer still ahead of us.
“How long do you plan to look down at your feet and not at me?” Leo asked.
Finally meeting his eyes, I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to handle this. When I told Mrs. Angelini I had turned you down because I didn’t think it was a good idea to go out with someone who would be leaving, she suggested that I let go, not worry so much about what might happen in the future. I decided to try that tonight. But I don’t think it’s my nature. Because as you’re standing here in front of me, I’m supposed to be letting loose, and all I can think about is the fact that I’m already sad, and you haven’t even left yet.” I stared into my champagne. “I can’t get out of my own head long enough to enjoy being with you.”
“You’re level-headed and practical. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“There’s nothing wrong with it, but it makes for a very boring life.”
“You’ve graduated from Harvard, you’re a master boat captain and fisherwoman, Frisbee player, not to mention a viral superstar—that’s far from boring to me.” He grinned.
I smiled. “You like me because I’m different than what you’re used to.”
His smile faded as his stare burned through me. “I like you because you’re you. Not just how you look, but how you look at me. You see me as the person I am, not my title or social status or where I come from. But more than that, you’re as intelligent and real as you are beautiful. God, Felicity, I’ve thought about little else since I met you.” He continued to examine my face. “What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking about some of the things Sig was saying in there, to be honest.”
“All right.” He swallowed. “What questions do you have?”
“So…say you told your parents you met a girl this summer in Rhode Island. You really like her. What would their reaction be?”
He scratched his chin. “You want the honest answer, I assume.”
I nodded.
“They—my mother, in particular—would make my life very difficult. They want me in England, settled and focused on continuing my father’s legacy, not focused on anyone outside of the bubble they live in.”
I swallowed. “And hypothetically, if you met someone here in the States or from anywhere else, and took them home to England, that wouldn’t be acceptable to them?”
A look of pain crossed his face. “They wouldn’t be able to stop me, but they might make that person’s life miserable. And I wouldn’t subject someone I care about to all that. It wouldn’t be fair. That’s the answer. I can’t change how they are, how they act, and what their expectations are.”
Defeat washed over me. “I’m sorry if my questions are too intrusive. I mean, we’ve only been on one date…”
He smiled. “So this is a date?”
My eyes widened. “It wasn’t supposed to be?”
“I’m teasing. I wasn’t going to call it that because I didn’t want to scare you. But I certainly intended it to be a date.”
“Oh.” I looked down at my shoes.
“Can I ask you something?” he asked.
“Sure.” I looked up, straightening my posture.
“When was the last time you had a boyfriend?”
It seemed like forever. I finished the last of my champagne before setting the glass down. “My freshman year in college, I met a guy—Finn—who I dated for about a year. He ended up unable to handle the pressure of school and dropped out. He had some serious anxiety issues. And it sucked because I’d hoped I was reason enough for him to stay, but when someone has an internal struggle, there’s nothing you can do sometimes. I never took it personally because I understood it for what it was. His leaving still sucked, though. I just ended up focusing even more on school after that. My sophomore year, I joined the Frisbee team and did everything I could to convince myself it was best to be alone. That’s sort of where I still am.”
“You never dated anyone else after?”
“No. I also had one serious boyfriend in high school, but we broke up before college. So, I’ve had two relationships. In the years since, I’ve gone out with guys here and there. But nothing that lasted beyond a couple of dates. Nothing that mattered, you know?”
“Nothing that mattered…” he muttered. “I can relate to that. I’ve been with my fair share of women. But I can’t say any of them mattered.” He took a few steps toward me. “I know we hardly know each other. But from the moment we met, somehow I knew you mattered to me, Felicity. Does that sound strange?”
“This whole thing has been a little strange.” I laughed as I looked up at this striking man whom I would have assumed was unattainable were it not for the fact that he clearly liked me. “Not in a bad way. Just a different sort of experience. And I’m sorry if I turned this night into something too serious. We were supposed to be having fun.”
“You’re not crazy for thinking about the future. By that, I mean my leaving. It’s not that far away. We could choose to ignore it or acknowledge it, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m not here forever. So, the bottom line is, you have every right to protect your heart, just as I have no right to toy with it. Tonight, at dinner, when you were talking about how you look at everyone in your life as a temporary player…” He paused, pointing to his chest. “It hit me hard. Because I don’t want to be yet another person who comes into your life and leaves you hurt. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”
My stomach was in knots. “Yeah, so this situation sort of sucks, doesn’t it?”
“I wasn’t expecting this, to find someone here I truly wanted to get to know better, spend time with. That wasn’t part of the plan.” He closed his eyes briefly. “At the same time, I wish I’d met you at the very beginning of this journey and not the last leg.”
I wanted so badly for him to lean in and kiss me. But I also hoped he didn’t. Confusion tore through my heart as a soft evening breeze sent his delicious, masculine scent toward me. I felt like this moment of silence was a crossroads, one where I decided whether I’d escape getting my heart broken or dive headfirst into the fire. Ultimately, fear won out.