Leo swallowed.
“To make a long story short, it wasn’t meant to be. It never was. I broke it off with him. I never got involved with anyone else after that. Soon after I graduated law school two years ago, Mrs. Angelini passed away.”
“What happened?”
“She died in her sleep. It was a heart attack.”
A look of sadness crossed his face. “You never got to say goodbye. That’s fucking hard. I’m so sorry.”
Tears threatened as I nodded. “There’s not much to say after that. In the time since she’s been gone, I’ve thrown myself into my job. But I quit last month because it was so unfulfilling. Something was calling me back to Rhode Island, even though Mrs. Angelini wasn’t there anymore. I used to think I wanted to live in the big city. But all I’ve wanted recently was to be back in Narragansett. I found your letter as soon as I got there, and everything started to make sense—why I felt such a pull to return. Or so it seemed.” I shook my head. “Now nothing makes sense at all.”
He looked tormented, and his hands were restless. My heart clenched at the jarring sight of the gold band on his finger. My Leo is married. Married. I remembered so vividly how that hand felt on my body. But no part of him, neither his gorgeous hands, nor his heart belonged to me anymore.
I cleared my throat. “Tell me how these past five years have been for you. I mean, obviously I know one major thing that happened.”
Leo blew out a breath and settled into the sofa. He stared off. “When I returned home, my father was in better shape than I’d expected. He bounced back fairly quickly from that infection. So that was a relief, of course. But aside from that, I felt…lost. The trip to America was supposed to have helped me clear my head, but all it had done was make me more confused about things. I struggled through that first year. Until I couldn’t take it anymore.” He looked up and met my eyes. “So I left and returned to the US.”
Adrenaline rushed through me. “What?”
“I realized letting you go was a huge mistake. I went to find you at Drexel.”
“What?” I repeated. My mouth hung open. He came back for me? “I don’t understand, Leo.”
“I planned to beg you to reconsider finding a way to be with me after you finished school. Mostly I just needed to see you again.”
“What happened?”
“I was staying at an Airbnb near the Drexel campus. I wasn’t sure how I was going to approach you, so I decided to get to town first and then figure it out. But before I had a chance to find you, I saw you.”
“Why didn’t you come to me?” I could hardly breathe.
“Because you were with him.”
My stomach sank. “You saw me with Matt…”
“Yes. He had his arms around you. And you seemed happy. I realized I was too late, that you’d moved on. I felt entirely out of my league at that point.”
That tore my heart out. Despite what things might have looked like with Matt, I would have dropped everything for Leo in a heartbeat. My entire reconciliation with Matt had been a vain attempt to get over Leo anyway.
“So, you just went back to England?” I asked, willing my tears away.
He looked down. “Yep.”
My eyes stung. “I hadn’t moved on from you, Leo. I was forcing myself to try.”
Leo looked back up at me. “Only after that was I able to force myself to try to move on—because I assumed you had. You can see how well that went by the rambling letter I sent you before my wedding. Even knowing you were with someone else didn’t change how I felt.”
I wiped my eyes. “God, we’re a mess.”
“A mess with impeccable timing, I might say.” Leo stood up and ventured into the kitchen, returning with a tissue. He handed it to me.
I sniffled. “Thank you.”
He watched as I wiped my face.
When I finished, I looked up at him with clear eyes. “Are you in love with Darcie?”
Of course, he was. He’d married her, for heaven’s sake. But I needed to hear him say it.
Leo blinked. “I do love her. But it’s different. I can’t say that it’s the same kind of love I felt for you.”
Felt. Past tense.
“I trust her,” he went on to say. “And I care for her deeply. We have a mutual respect for one another. She’s deserved better than me from the very beginning, but I was honest with her. I told her about you. She herself had gotten her heart broken by a man she loved shortly before we reconnected. We bonded over our mutual heartbreaks, though they were different situations.”
Leo pressed his fingertips together. “Darcie wasn’t you, Felicity, but she was someone I felt comfortable with and could relate to. She came into my life at a time when I needed incomplexity and companionship. She and I never had the insane chemistry you and I did. The evolution of my relationship with her was different. It started with genuine friendship and grew from there.”
He paused, as if to figure out how to soften the blow of what he was about to say.
“It did evolve into a romantic relationship. She knew the situation with my father and understood what I was up against. Due to his health at the time, I asked her to marry me before either of us was ready for that. And she knew the reason—because I wanted my father to bear witness to it. That’s not to say I didn’t want to marry her. If not you, there was no one else I could have imagined myself with.” He exhaled. “Felicity, when you didn’t respond to my letter, I was certain my assumption that you’d moved on with Matt was correct. I forced myself to move on with my life.”
“And now?” I braced myself. “How is your marriage?”
“At this moment, with me being here talking to you? Not very good.”
“Obviously I meant before today…”
“I know what you’re asking.” He sighed. “It hasn’t been perfect. We’ve had our issues.”
“Like what?”
“She wants to start a family soon.”
“And you don’t?”
“I haven’t felt ready. So that’s been a point of contention.”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry for all the questions. What happens in your marriage isn’t any of my business.”
“You can ask me anything, Felicity. I’ve always told you that.”
“She must hate me.”
“She knows you meant no disrespect in coming here and that you didn’t know I was married.”
Married.
Married.
Married.
The word felt like it was choking me.
“I think I should go back home,” I blurted.
“Stay for a week,” he said immediately.
“Why?”
“Because I’m not ready to say goodbye to you yet. I don’t have a better reason than that.”
“What—are you going to invite me over to dinner at the estate? I mean, come on, Leo. What purpose will my staying serve? I can barely look at you right now with this pain in my chest.”
“You think I want to hurt you?” he shouted, then quickly lowered his voice. “That’s not what this is about. I just need time to process this before you leave.” He paused. “One week, Felicity.”