Theo managed a chuckle. “You are just like him,” he said, but the words were laced with admiration. He got it, why Spencer would bond to Elsie like glue. He didn’t need to argue with that.
“Now you’re getting nasty,” she said, but he could tell she was pleased.
They neared the hangar, and Theo took a deep breath, hoping he could get his temper under control. When he got there, Glen was finishing up with a rewrap and capping a bottle of Advil, which wasn’t as strong as the pain reliever Theo had, but it was probably easier on Spencer’s body, so Theo got that.
“You ready to take this asshole home?” Glen said mildly.
“But you said three days!” Spencer burst out.
“I said if you were up to it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go reattach Gibby’s head, since you have apparently ripped it off, and I hate to see a grown man cry when he’s got no head!”
“Glen—”
“One more week, Dumbass. Now talk to your boy there, or I’ll make it two.”
Glen stalked away muttering to himself, leaving Theo glaring at him, arms crossed.
Spencer took one look at Theo and glanced away.
“You know,” Elsie said, “I’m going to go get the truck, since it’s parked in the back forty. You two, do that thing. You know. The thing. With your mouths. No… no… not a blowjob—wait, I got it. Communicate, assholes! You got twenty minutes!”
She stalked off, and Spencer continued to stare at the floor. It occurred to Theo that he was the emotionally mature one in this scenario, and he figured he had to break the silence first.
“Well?”
“Well, what?”
Yup. Theo was the grown-up today.
“Since Monday, Spence? You haven’t taken a painkiller since Monday?”
“Sunday night,” Spencer admitted reluctantly.
“Because….”
“Because I’m at work!” Spencer snarled.
“You’re not in the air!”
“But I’m around airplanes—”
“And this is bullshit anyway, because you didn’t even take ibuprofen!” Theo crouched down by Spencer’s chair. “I’m not getting the connection here, Spencer. Come on, help me out! Why would you start work and stop taking painkillers and become the world’s biggest asshole! I….” His hurt started to seep through. “I thought we were doing okay. Why would you do that to me?”
Spencer’s shoulders hunched, and he looked miserable. “It’s taking forever,” he said sullenly. “It’s taking fucking forever. And my leg—it’s not getting better. It’s going to be months before I can fly. It’s going to be months before we can… before I can….” He gave Theo a sideways glance and shook his head. “I just thought if I wasn’t half-stoned, I could, I don’t know. Function better. Get on my feet faster. Get my wings faster.” Again, that half-embarrassed look at Theo. “Get everything done faster.”
Theo had to take several deep breaths to try to process this.
He decided to take it one issue at a time.
“Spence, you’re not going to be in the air next week, or next month. If you’re lucky, you may make it by the end of the year, but that’s pushing it. I’ve talked to the doctors. I’ve talked to Damien, whose leg was broken into a zillion pieces, and he, too, had an infection and muscle and bone loss. You fell out of a helicopter, and instead of going splat, you’re wandering around making the rest of us miserable. But we’re still glad you didn’t go splat, so maybe stop making us miserable, okay?”
Spencer shook his head reluctantly. “I, you know… I hate being a charity case,” he said sullenly. “Preston doesn’t even charge me rent.”
“Yeah, but Glen doesn’t pay that well either,” Theo said, and Spencer snorted. Glen was a small businessman, and he and Damien had worked their asses off to grow the company. Fact was, pilots didn’t make a fortune. But they did get to do the thing they loved while getting paid. Glen offered full benefits and all sorts of perks that didn’t come with a price tag, and Theo knew he and Spencer had landed on their feet.
“I don’t want to overburden him,” Spencer grunted.
“Well, don’t rip the head off his perfectly good cargo grunts and I think he’ll be okay. If you’re up to it next week, you could come in five days a week, because with the two new pilots and one contractor, I could actually use some help, and that’s not a lie. We do need your help, Spence. We just need you to not be, I don’t know, bleeding and in pain when you’re here.”
Spencer nodded but still kept up that maddening lack of eye contact.
“And that brings us to that other thing,” Theo added grimly.
“It’s not import—”
“It’s important to me!” Oh dear heavens, Theo was going to kill him. “What… what exactly is it that you feel you haven’t done for me personally, Spencer? Spell it out. Use short words. I’m all ears.”
The supreme look of disgust Spencer sent him told Theo that he’d been right on target. And then the creeping red around Spencer’s ears sort of took Theo’s breath away.
This mattered to him. This thing between him and Theo and whatever he was feeling about it—it really mattered to him.
“I haven’t exactly been showing you all the bells and whistles,” Spencer confessed, not looking at him. “I mean, it’s one of two things I’m supposed to be good at and….” He shrugged, still studying the far side of the hangar.
Theo’s mad drained out of his body abruptly, and he leaned his head against Spencer’s arm, butting it gently.
“You haven’t exactly been letting me down, either,” Theo said softly. “I’ve loved the things we’ve been doing. What’s wrong with that?”
Spencer’s face remained a study of misery and avoidance. “It’s so easy for you,” he said. “This unconditional thing. When I was a kid, we were expected to produce things. You didn’t get a day out of school when you were sick. You either went to school or you helped with chores, and walking pneumonia was a thing. If what you were doing didn’t make babies, it was a sin, and any sort of work that you didn’t put your back into was charity and a scam. How you can even stand to look at me after all you’ve seen me do these last six weeks—I’m at a loss.”
Theo sighed and stood, grabbing the other office chair so he could sit next to Spencer, at least, if Spencer wouldn’t look him in the eyes.
“Is that how you felt about Glen when he was hurt?” he asked.
“Course not,” Spencer retorted. “That’s not the—”
“Oh, I think it is the point, but let’s get down to that unconditional thing, because I think you need lessons. I came out to my parents at twelve. My mother asked me if I had any crushes at school, and I told her that the boys at the high school were looking mighty fine, because I was raised right and we did not lie to our parents.”
Spencer snorted. “Your head would explode if you even tried,” he said, and he actually gave Theo a direct look before rolling his eyes, so Theo was encouraged.