“Jill and Jackie are twenty-six, brother. They’ve graduated college, they both have careers. They are dating and that’s them concentrating on their futures. The last time I saw them they both talked about wanting families. And the only reason why you like Lucy’s wife is because she’s a woman. If Lucy wasn’t gay I doubt she would’ve made it down the aisle without you tackling her or tying up the groom so he couldn’t walk down the aisle.”
Okay. So, Matt had a point. I adored Lucy’s wife and yes, part of that was because she was a beautiful, petite woman. But it was mostly because she believed Lucy walked on water.
“Your mom wants to be happy,” Matt said softly. “Don’t you think after everything she went through—that your family went through—she deserves to be happy?”
Yes, my mother deserved to be happy. I wanted her to be happy. I just wished she’d do it without a man.
“You know I love my mom.”
“Then give this guy a chance.”
I remained quiet, preferring not to lie whenever possible.
“Christ, you’re gonna be a dick to him.”
Again, I said nothing.
“Think on that, Logan. The only person you’ll be hurting is your mom.”
With that, Matt left.
I sat back down and stared at the wall. I’d moved into this new office months ago after Triple Canopy expanded the office, yet I hadn’t hung a single thing on the walls. I hadn’t even picked out the furniture. I’d left that to Lauren. I glanced around noting everything she’d picked was exactly right. It was what I would’ve picked out for myself. The black steel frame of the U-shaped executive desk with distressed walnut drawer fronts and top and the matching bookshelves were cool as hell.
I hadn’t given her any direction when she’d ordered the furniture. Hell, I couldn’t even remember if I’d thanked her after it was delivered. I’d spent so much time trying to avoid the woman when I first met her it was surprising it had taken her so long to loathe the sight of me.
The problem was I didn’t want to avoid her. From the first time I saw her shy smile, I was hooked. But when she didn’t hide that she was interested in me, ice crystals formed around my heart and the poison that pumped through my veins started to bubble, reminding me I had my father in me.
I was protecting Lauren.
I had to stay away from her to keep her safe.
But now that she wouldn’t look at me, the parts of her that I allowed myself to have, I missed so damn bad it hurt. I hadn’t heard her laugh in months, not since before Liberty and Drake’s wedding. She hadn’t aimed a single smile in my direction in a long time. She hadn’t gone out of her way to poke fun at me, tease me, annoy me, be in the gym when she knew I was in there. Nothing. Complete avoidance. The worst part about that was she did it better than I had.
My evasion had been half-hearted. I’d still sought her out on occasion. I’d lingered in the gym until she made her appearance then pretended I hadn’t been waiting to catch sight of her in her tight-ass workout gear that showcased her rockin’ figure. I found reasons to walk by her desk in the reception area just to get a sniff of her perfume.
Lauren made no such attempts. I walked into a room, she walked out.
I’m not your lover, I’m not even your friend.
Fuck.
Unable to concentrate on work I closed out the intel report Dylan, Triple Canopy’s resident NSA-trained intelligence specialist, had sent earlier detailing Guy Stevens’ travel history from the last year. The dude traveled a lot. Though according to his taxes, he was a self-employed network engineer so travel wasn’t out of the question. And just like last week when he used his real name to check into the Imperial, all of the hotel rooms and rental cars were charged to him personally. He wasn’t hiding, he was deducting the expenses on his taxes. Everything looked to be on the up-and-up. Only it wasn’t. Matt and I didn’t imagine him getting a blowjob from a prostitute he couldn’t afford. And I didn’t believe it was a coincidence that the hooker belonged to a well-known pimp named Frank who had strong ties to the man Lucky we were investigating. In a city where a major drug deal had gone down.
When Matt interrupted, I was in the process of cross-referencing the cities where the DEA believed Lucky did business and where Guy had visited on or around the time the deals had happened. So far I’d found two. I knew I’d find more. Then the question would be where Guy fell into Lucky’s operation.
I finished closing down my computer, grabbed my cell and keys off my desk, and left my office. I walked down the dimly lit hallway acutely aware I was the last one in the building. With the exception of me, Matt, Dylan, and Lauren all of the other employees were happily attached. And most had families.
Jason Walker’s wife Mercy gave birth to their first child, a daughter Cecile, a few weeks ago and he was still out on leave. Nick Clark hit the door at five sharp to get home to his wife Meadow and their two children. Carter Lenox was never far behind to get to his pregnant wife Delaney and their daughter. Brady Walker only stayed late if his wife Hadley had something going on at the library where she worked. Same with Drake Hayes pulling OT only if his wife Liberty was deployed. But if she was home, Drake’s ass was out the door ten minutes before five. Trey Durum wasn’t as crazy as the rest but that might’ve had something to do with his fiancée Adalynn Walker being a physical therapist and using TC’s facilities to see her clients. And up until recently, Luke would stay late with me, but now that he had Shiloh Kent—a badass SWAT operator—he left work as promptly as the rest, never knowing if Shiloh would get a callout and have to rush back to work.
Dropping like flies.
Matt and I were the only two still single from our SEAL element. Carter, Drake, Trey, Matt, Luke, and I were closest out of our platoon. The six of us had been a finely-tuned team until Carter didn’t reenlist. Then there were the five of us. And after a shitshow of a rescue mission, we all left. But not before Drake took a dishonorable discharge to protect his wife, Lieutenant Liberty-then-McCoy’s commission. Luke and Trey had been injured and were facing medical discharge. And since I couldn’t bear the thought of my brothers leaving me behind I left the Navy and followed them to Triple Canopy.
Something I didn’t regret, but now I realized TC couldn’t offer me the one thing the Navy could. Deployments. Life-or-death missions that numbed my past. It was hard to dwell on beatings and the sounds of your mother and sisters sobbing when you were facing down unfriendlies waiting to deal death and destruction.
Now I got nothing but time. And time was not my friend.
Like the asshole I was, I paused at Lauren’s desk when I got to the reception area and inhaled. No scent of the spicy perfume Lauren wore. No beautiful woman sitting in the chair. No sound of her soft voice asking me what I needed.
Nothing.
Empty.
Like my soul.
Yeah, I had way too much damn time on my hands.
I walked into Balls and the smell of stale beer assaulted me. Maybe Matt should buy the joint and spruce it up a bit. The pool hall was outdated by a decade. My gaze went to the bar and all thoughts vanished as I drank in the sight of Lauren standing there. Then my jaw clenched and my gut recoiled at the attention she garnered from every asshole with a functioning dick. She’d changed from the skirt and sweater she’d worn to work today into a pair of dark-wash denim jeans that cupped her ass to perfection. Long legs were highlighted by the high heel sandals she had on her feet. A slouchy white shirt hung off one of her shoulders. No bra strap in sight. Though I hoped to fuck she was wearing one; there were only so many times a man could see nipples before he lost his mind. And I was a man on the verge of losing it. Every damn time I saw Lauren in those sports bras she wore when she worked out with her pebbled nipples I couldn’t stop myself from wondering what she tasted like. Spicy like her perfume? Sweet like candy? Fresh like the soap she used?