Knox was like that. Meticulously observant and relentlessly thoughtful. It would be churlish to reward his gesture by flinging the tea at Gray’s head in an attempt to discourage his dangerous interest. But even that was probably a better life choice than giving in to the temptation to jump into his arms again.
Yeah, her hormones were seriously out of control. After years of lying dormant, they’d roared to life at the worst time and focused on the most hopeless person. She shouldn’t even be surprised, considering her romantic track record. Falling in big, horny lust with a man whose impending death would shatter her heart was exactly her flavor of self-destruction.
She wished that knowing that would change something. Anything. But when she peeked at him over the rim of her cup, his gaze was fixed on her lips in a way that practically screamed that he was imagining that almost-kiss.
Now she was, too. The heat of his body. The iron of his arms as he held her pinned to his chest, her boots dangling above the floor. His mouth—his mouth—
Full-body tingles raised the hair on her arms, and she fought to hide a shudder as she scalded her tongue with her too-sweet tea. It was a miracle she hadn’t skated into full sensory overload already today. Tingles were nice, but they always became too much. Which was what she had to remember.
Fantasies were fine. And if she didn’t want to hasten the expiration date on her own increasingly overwhelmed brain, fantasies had to be enough. It was safer that way. For her and for Gray. Because the last time she’d let things progress past fantasy …
One name, Marjorie. Give me a name, or I break the next bone. And then another, and another.… How much pain can Simon endure, do you think? Shall we find out?
It was like being dropped into an icy mountain lake. Sweet tingles turned to a chilled shudder, and Maya locked down the memory before it could bloom into a full sensory flashback.
Loving her had already been the death of one man. She wouldn’t repeat the mistake.
RAFE
Dani was going to hurt herself.
His chest tight with sympathy, Rafe hovered in the doorway of the women’s workout room. He’d been impressed the first time he set foot across the threshold. Everything in the room was state of the art, even for the TechCorps. Automatically calibrating weight and resistance training, treadmills that folded out of the wall, a beautiful array of practice weapons, and a padded floor perfect for sparring.
Nina was a woman who took training seriously.
Of course, today Dani was ignoring all of that. She’d stripped off her shirt and shoes by the door and lowered one of the heavily reinforced punching bags. Her body was a blur as she drove her unwrapped fists into it over and over. Too fast. Too hard.
Her knuckles were already raw. They’d be bleeding soon. If it had been Knox or even Nina, Rafe might think that was the whole point—drowning frustration and failure in the distraction of physical pain. Rafe could even understand it. He’d heaped his share of abuse on his body, just trying to escape the demons in his nightmares.
But Dani would never have that escape. Because she literally couldn’t feel the pain.
Rafe stepped across the threshold, his bare feet silent on the mat.
Dani stopped and stilled the bag’s movement, her fingers digging into the canvas. “Not now, Morales.”
“If you want me to just shut up and stand here, fine. But I’m not leaving until you’re done pulverizing your hands.”
“My hands are fine.” She turned and flexed all her fingers in a show of dexterity. “See? It’s the rest of me that’s not doing so hot right now.”
“I can imagine.” He took another step forward and braced his hands on his hips. “Instead of punching the skin off your knuckles, we could talk about it.”
A short, harsh laugh tore out of her throat.
“What’s wrong, cupcake?” Rafe hid his concern beneath his laziest drawl. “Don’t think I can talk?”
“Oh, I know you can.” Dani glared at him. “You’re all talk, aren’t you?”
“As opposed to what?” He knew he shouldn’t say it. He knew he shouldn’t. Rafe had never thought he had anything to prove before, but when that hot challenge sparked in Dani’s eyes, it was like his brains melted out his ears. “You want something? Ask for it.”
Her chest heaved, something between a sigh and a shudder. They stood staring at each other in charged silence, his challenge thrown down like a gauntlet between them. If she asked him to touch her, he would. He wouldn’t know how to stop.
Lock it down, Morales.
Dani didn’t need to be provoked into a fight. Or a fuck. She needed someone to take care of her, though God knew she’d combat roll out a third-story window before admitting it. “Come here,” he said softly, holding out his hands. “Just let me check your knuckles, okay? It’s either me or Maya.”
Her jaw clenched, but she relented, holding out both hands with a short nod. “They’re fine, but knock yourself out.”
Dani’s hands were deceptively delicate compared to Rafe’s. Her pale skin showed the abuse from the bag all too readily, her knuckles an angry red and scraped nearly raw. Rafe bent her fingers gently and rubbed his thumb across the backs of her fingers. “We’re going to find those kids, Dani. Knox knows how to get the job done.”
“You’re so sure,” she whispered. “Always. How can you be that sure of everything?”
“Because the only mission Knox has ever botched was betraying Nina.” Rafe stroked her fingers again and tried not to wonder at the nightmares lurking in her eyes or why the idea of children trapped like experiments shook her so hard. “We’re not leaving kids behind. It’s just not an option.”
“It’s not just this. It’s…” She shook her head and repeated the word. “Everything.”
A dozen possible replies came to his lips. Easy, reassuring. But not honest. The honest truth was darker. “Because I have to be, Dani. I can’t entertain the alternative. Too many people are depending on me getting my shit done, and when I don’t…”
When he didn’t, people got kidnapped. Hurt. People got dead.
“Like your family.”
He’d almost forgotten he’d told Dani about his sister—yet another time his good sense had taken flight. Rafe didn’t talk about his family with anyone. Not even Knox. “Yeah. My family.”
Her fingers closed around his for a split second, then relaxed. “How are they?”
“I don’t know. Fine, I guess.” He exhaled softly. “I gave my mother my cut from the RLOC bunker. That should hold them over until my youngest sister is grown.”
“You won’t be able to see them.”
It wasn’t a question. Because Dani understood. “Conall’s been keeping an eye on the TechCorps with that backdoor into their server, and he swears they’re convinced we’re dead … But all it takes is one fuckup. One careless moment. I won’t lead them back to my family.”
Dani stared up at him, her soft, blue gaze full of sympathy and commiseration and something else, something suspiciously like longing.
Or maybe that was just what he wanted to see.
Then she blinked, and the moment dissolved. She turned away, tearing her hands from his. “If you really want to help me, give me something to hit besides this bag.”